The 'three rungs' of a ladder in the ToL as MY LIFE'S CULMINATION?


The path of Teth connects not only Chesed's archetypical laws with Geburah's carrying them out, but also the main Pillars of Mercy and Severity. Therefore it is a path of particularly strong and fruitful polarity, a highly sexual path between love and will as such, of fluent manifestation. If successful, this intercourse fuels the soul's journey into form with a loving determination that enables it to accept, control and transform the earthly forces of nature. These are symbolized by the lion (Leo!) on the tarot trump below, controlled by a woman, Eve, a key actor behind our venture into self-consciousness, our Lust for life.

-PEH - WORD, THE TOWER, THE PHILOSOPHICAL FAVOR IN HOD BEGOTTEN FAVOR OF SEBEK'S PRIMORDIAL FORCE BALANCED WITH NETZACH - When emotional stability is achieved, and by the purification of my own Word which seems lately to be a councilling from a higher source for others as well as an aegis that repels with lightening (literally each and every time a few seconds of contemplation is given to jupiter, etc, when I draw something esoteric, when I create a poem, or post a facebook status, I have this feeling that A LOT OF THE PEOPLE WHO WERE THREATENING, HARASSING, ATTEMPTING TO HUNT DOWN, SCHEME, AND PLOT AGAINST ME, have failed from the start. Sebek's wisdom will be added below.

Before the attainment of the things Said and Done by the Great Work, I was utterly saturnine, even between the stages of calcination and conjunction which are less scornful by God's Word than the rotting death of fermentation, when death spreads like a plague to my life and others (people were dying not necessarily in my circle, but at the heightened stages of my Black Magickal practice people would start to die as a MESSAGE that my TARGET's hex worked, but not to the extent that the target died. I've driven people mad, I've caused decay of relationships and partnerships and all thats good, etc. I've chased madness in symbols and omens in daily life and found Gold and Philosophy therein as Its Stone.

- DALETH -door- - BY THE FORCE (CHOKMAH TO BINAH) WHICH IS ILLUMINATING THE TRUE WORD- SHARING - LILITH, WIFE OF SET, ETC, BLUEbell, bee's (honey?) - The door has taken the form of a lust after women my WHOLE LIFE, and the central problem to my most dysfunctional depression was the desire for a woman, a self conscious lonelyness that seemed to DEVOUR (sebek) from the Inside. As a boy I had a dream of an Alligator devouring me, my helpless small form swallowed by Empty Jaws. Lately is a recurring theme of a mighty and magick young child who was jokingly percieved as a super hero at one point. (looking back to the picture of Hitler lined up with the Marvel Heroes in a school studen-made painting in Tibet some time ago, JUST HOW FAR have my thoughts been effective???).

I haven't hexed anybody, but they destroyed themselves. The primordial pool is everywhere and its mirror reflects. ciricumstances by nature have allowed for A LOT OF RUMOROUS CONFUSION of where I live, allowing for nobody to find me and start trouble, allowing for time for THEM TO GET SEVERELY DEVOURED BY JAWS OF SEBEK.

This post is basically typed in a maddened excitement by the discovery, I want a legitimate qaballist to observe the 'three pronged ladder' (MEM has a significant force here, it represents not only the sacrifice for that raw black sorcerous hatred, but also the fact that BY SUSPENSION BETWEEN KNOWING AND NOT KNOWING, WANTING BUT NOT DESIRING, ACTION AND STILLNESS, a HUGE key to my big life problems has been discovered, and so even the act of reading is magick. the act of drawing is magick. the act of becoming and breathing and changing and regenerating and living IS ALL MAGICK!

Three the Empress's number, and the final culmination of the Form of my life is apparent in its Nature.

I am the dogged intelligence, who by knowing and not knowing, waking and sleeping, determine Friend from Foe.


The INTELLIGENCE who by...

Expectancy of Doom begets the Salvation of the Light

Who by deliverance of decay begets regeneration

Who by sitting and standing, who by moving and stillness, Do and Do Not

I am Neither nor nor Yes.

I am the the sudden stop at the wall of obliteration
which destroys itself
and returns reborn
to ride the Fiery Current of the Light.

The immovable object when it is challenged by the unstoppable force, devouring itself by snapping Its Jaws Shut

I am the rager who by not raging, seethes the waves to topple towers with beneath the Earth
As the Sun finds its way.

I am eating and shitting
Destroying and Building

the humility of willing that Ultimate Defiance
which by Virtue of None Virtue
Descends beneath the fires of the earth,
ascends and descends again to the lair beneath the waters
ascends and ascends again to the Heavens

By sitting upon the throne of the Emperor
whose granite is made of Fire
Whose hammer is a Mace but not Iron (lol)

who by sitting upon the grounds of the impoverished
whose shirt is made of bitter disatisfaction and embraced malice
By being bitter to malice and disatisfied from what is embraced
sit upon the throne of both
the King and Queen

Who art the sun above the holy firmament
and the moon the highest priest of magick
reflecting her Light beneath the Darkened Waves


Therein lies knowing and not knowing, by being aware of and unaware of,

the Sun is one eye

the moon the other

the void the face

of our old and warey god

void is that air which glues all aspects of Life

thus is the manifestation of God by the Vibration of Air

the Thunderous Word Found in Silence

the Trees are His Beard

We are only Man And Woman

The struggle to live and the struggle not to die

therein war is life!


I was only thinking yesterday of the relationship between Sebek and Kali ... in a way they fulfil a similar function.

They and the VERY strong forces that they regulated and control in the deepest aspects of the psyche can be volatile ... that is why it recommended that only an adept deal with them.

Unfortunately they can arise by their own volition triggered by internal or external circumstance.

Their essential nature is devouring that which no longer has use.

A crocodile is a wonderful way to clean up all the dead and putrescent decay of the river ... not so wonderful if one takes an un-mindful drink from the river’s edge.

The thing is these forces reside within as well as without ... deep and sleeping in the depths ... until some stimulation causes them to arise. Why? To disperse and destroy a form that does not have evolutionary viability. They can appear in many forms, internal; as voices urging bad or harmful acts to the self and the development or redemption of the self, they criticise and mock the positive attempts of those possessed by them and urge them to shameful behaviour and if one enacts this shameful behaviour they mock and beguile them for it. OR one may have the forces projected externally and imagine that other people or forces outside of themselves are attempting the same 'attacks'

These forces can be sought out (by one trained in such matters) and adjusted (not in all cases), they can arise from circumstances (culturally; when a 'cultural template' is no longer relevant for a social paradigm shift ... the greater the discrepancies the more powerful and hopeless the manifestation of first social destruction and last, self-destruction

I STRONGLY suggest you research the work of Wilson VanDusen ... he was a psychiatrist who treated 'hopeless' chronic and severe cases of psychiatric disturbance by considering that they were under spirit or demonic possession and utilised the works of Emmanuel Swedenborg to this end .... quiet successfully. His findings greatly reflect the rules, preparations and cautions as outlined in ritual magic in areas like Goetic or demonic evocation ... learn about THAT first ... just as an electrician must learn before he starts playing around with live wires.

I STRONGLY suggest you read vanDusen's work ... I sure you will find it interesting and at the same time a great help.


Another movement on the tree of life:

I started the occult mundane and unknowing of the mysteries, and the revelation of magick in itself was a journey across the Gate to Yesod. From than, I went to Hod and a odd chance happening by divination revealed that Gaap, an evocation whose seal is still drawn on that wall in the shed, 'causes men to move across the world' as a ritual to aid my move to new hampshire which actually initiated Alchemical Calcination and the rest of the process was the catalyst to all this. Sebek, in Hod, is easily marked as the devouring, unstable force released by a novice attempting to evoke (and hod's action IS evocation in the great work). This led to a lot of aggression from other people reacted with hexes of a martial sort. After years I began to note that saturn is easier on the mind, and so stuck to deathly depressive hexing forces (mars is the only one that backfires unless my organs are slowly dying in my experience- its not karma, merely the recoil of the effect to let the magus know there WAS an effect. And getting hurt by a cut is easily agreeable when the target got car wrecked times three). So, geburah-----> Binah. Binah seems to give a sudden form (geburah is pure force in a form) to the paradigm as revelation brings me to TIPHARETH, and invocation hexagrams of the sun allow for a rebalance to all the dark energy and invocation hexagrams of chesed allow for more leanings toward the right pillar.

I honestly, as a result of the black work I've done hold no regret over it but still aknowledge the light. It just burns too.

Sebek shows in Hod, representing himself also as the sort of devourer who would initiate the experience.

Athena, culminating by other signs at Chesed, incidentally sits at the 'top right' of the tree, as Sebek would sit at the 'bottom left' in this way. So, the struggle of male/female inwardly is shown, Athena makes sense of the patriarchy existing internally within myself. She could just as easily be a Bitch Mother, also reflecting my intellectual side by the nature of her people. Athena herein might represent the sort of force I need when it comes to the male/female balance. The left pillar is female, the right is male, but Athena at the top as Chesed and Jupiter indicates a more clear factor on the tree that right now is either just for me or inexplicable out of fatigue for now.


The danger of using the position of Mars as it is in the ToL in an evocative (read psycho-analytical) sense is that the 'force' of Mars in a psychological sense is much 'further down' the tree than it is in a general cabbalistic sense. On the ToL it is impersonal ... and 'force' (after following the 'form' of Chesed) is here seen in an abstract or natural sense ( natural, as in a force of nature; 'force' in the Newtonian sense) whereas 'force / Mars' in the psyche is more deeply connected to the Qlippothic or in the Freudian sense; the Id, i.e. as a psychological drive in polarity to the drive of Venus.

You have begun to sense this ; "mars is the only one that backfires " and also the role of 'Mercury' in that; " and Hod's action IS evocation in the great work" ... except I would clarify that Hod's (Mercury's) role is the REGULATOR or MODIFIER of the pre-evocative forces (meaning those forces of the lower consciousness / Id that, although not being consciously or magically evoked are still, nether-the-less influencing us to varied extents).

The lower triangle of the Moon has Mars and Venus at either side of the base and Mercury is the apex (with the Moon at centre); Mercury is, as well as being closest to the Sun, also resides in the Id (hell, the Underworld) as Psychopomp, it is by this force we are 'redeemed' or regulated. *

'With years comes ease' and yes, it does appear that; "After years I began to note that Saturn is easier on the mind" ... but that because we eventually have travelled many times around the Sun ... it reminds me of Mark Twain's amusing words (and words of wry wisdom) ... to the effect of: - When young I could not believe how stupid my father was, as I progressed through the years of my youth to dawning adulthood I could not believe how rapidly my father became wise. -
;) .... however, 2nd Saturn return still packs a punch!

* This can all be mapped out and regulated and transcribed with one's natal astrology, then one can see the links helpful or difficult (trines , oppositions, etc.) between various 'deities' (as relating to planets and their aspects with the Sun / Moon relationship) and their relationship to the individual set up of ones psyche within that the natal planetary arrangement .... that might then give an insight as to why Athena sits 'at the top' on Jupiter Chesed (in the personal psychological tree the Jupiter position would be middle left ... part of the 'gateway' or 'valve' between the personal and transpersonal {inner and outer} planetary triads).

That puts her above Mars (bottom left) and directly above the old Hod position.

I would daresay your Sebek has been placed there in your psyche ... it’s in Mars, not Hod / Mercury;
But that Sebek Mars ... needs to have the force regulated and delivered appropriately by Mercury and delivered to the Sun from the Moon triad of forces from the ID (hence the Sun and Moon conjoined ... another aspect of the great work).

I am wary of approaching such work of a deep personal nature with the Kabbalistic natural model as I believe it is not arranged to represent the individual psyche but levels of manifestation in nature.


.......I am wary of approaching such work of a deep personal nature with the Kabbalistic natural model as I believe it is not arranged to represent the individual psyche but levels of manifestation in nature.
However, the Tree is both local and global, subjective and objective. or viewed another way, the individual "is" the cosmos. As the Gospel of Thomas puts it, the Kingdom comes with the realization that the inside is as the outside, etc. Unfortunately, as I'm sure you know, all this can be the stuff of megalomania if the individual is not prepared for it, hence the Mystery Schools. Also, there is a model of the Tree for each of the Four Worlds. For the "individual soul," the Trees in Yetzirah and Assiah pertain particularly to the Ruach and Nephesh, respectively.


Yes I know .... but the more I look into it from a psycho astrological level the more I see this variant 'tree' being relevant (and revealant) ... Mars in the psyche IS an inner planet and needs to triangulated with Venus and Mercury.

The gateway is Jupiter and Saturn ... the Mars Jupiter 'pairing' doesn't work on this level and all the 'transpersonal' forces of the outer planets sit above the personal as higher vibrations of the same.

There is a great book written (sorry title eludes me) that shows how changes in consciousness have come about in sync with 'scientific' discoveries , the best e.g. when we first saw images of the earth globe from space.

The incorporation and discovery of the outer planets makes for a different psychology than that schemed by the old ToL IMO.

{Aside: I am not making this up as I go along ... I worked for years in the field of ritual magic and psychiatric nursing and also as a regulator of a large magical body were people were experimenting with strong magical / psychological forces and cabbalistic understandings .}