EmpressArwen
Feeling for you, EmpressArwen.
A general tip on discovering what the unseen elephant in the room is (for anyone). On a clear-thinking, less emotional day - or on one with time to decompress after the emotions - consider all the things it can't possibly be. It helps to have kept an eye open for these during a few days or weeks. I mean the things you don't even wonder about, the things that don't even give you a strong "mustn't go there" feeling, because you "know" they're not an issue for you and so you dismiss them before you even see them.
So this has to be done "in theory" without ruling out anything no matter how irrelevant. As if you were doing sums, and the answers mean nothing.
Then see what answers the working-out has given, and pretend. For me the first time I did it this way, it was jealousy. Didn't even occur to me that I had a problem with it, I was the person who "hadn't got a jealous bone in her body". But I play-acted it, rehearsed if you like. Found I was REALLY uncomfortable around the very idea ... pursued it therefore ... soon (really, it was soon), I was able to be aware of when I was feeling jealous, and it wasn't even uncomfortable. I mean, it isn't a pleasant feeling but the thought that it could exist in *me!* was now ok, safe. All it took to feel safe around it was to bring it up to the conscious level.
There's going to be a negative emotion around anything that's buried, but that's ok so just wait it out and the process then is easy. Honest.
This is interesting. I'm going to try this. I'm a little nervous to see what I could uncover, to be honest. I will give it a shot.
Thank you!