Calayvie
Nicely said! I think that you can't actually help someone until they are willing to help themselves. So until that point you can open their eyes to what's there to help but they won't even see it if they aren't ready to help themselves. And I think I just answered my own next question. I was going to mention the saying that "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink". I think this is very true, but is it OK to lead them to the water, to let them know its there? I guess yes, but they may not even see it if they are not ready to take that drink.One of the things I learned in dealing with someone close who had substance abuse problems was this saying
"If you do more about solving their problem than they do, you're violating their boundaries"
It's incredibly difficult when you believe that you know what they "should" do to solve their problems. But it's far more loving to honor their own path, no matter how rocky, than to try to drag them over onto yours.
Like AraLuck said, I think I'll watch for signs that he wants help, keep myself available, and be open to him about my journey and what helps me.
One day he might see the water and recognise it for what it is.
Yes, my path is good for me (as i see it now) but it doesnt mean its a right path for anyone else, and there's no growth or wisdom without pain and mistakes.
Every thing is simply an opinion, and everybody's opinion is different and subject to natural change.
I have a great image of "dragging" my brother over to my path, made me laugh! [emoji1]
Michael Brown describes real love as: allowing someone the space to evolve naturally. I love that.
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