Reading v/s Judging

[Shibiusa]

Bringing this up again with a situation that happened today in Portugal with a tv tarot reader...

So, this tarot reader had someone on the phone that told her she was in an abusive marriage and that her husband was violent with her. She wanted to know what she could do and the reader proposed the question "what can I do to improve my situation". It's a good question, yeah. But quite a troublesome issue... The reader distributed the cards and read them (the reading is here: http://i.imgur.com/v7GanPd.png It's a screenshot from the video, so the quality is pretty bad and I can't recognize the cards). Instead of saying the woman should run away from a violent marriage and report the situation to the authorities, no. She said she had to be with him because she chose him and he needs a mother (not a spouse), so she shouldn't argue with him and let him do what he wants because violence generates more violence.
Excuse me, but I don't think someone should ever go through domestic violence. I would forget the reading and just tell her what she needs to do. It's not exactly judging the person in front of you (it's the situation itself that is being judged), but the proper action for this is not asking the cards what to do... In my opinion.

What do you think about this?

 

[Cocobird55]

i agree with you -- abusive relationships should end quickly.

 

[nisaba]

Excuse me, but I don't think someone should ever go through domestic violence. I would forget the reading and just tell her what she needs to do. It's not exactly judging the person in front of you (it's the situation itself that is being judged), but the proper action for this is not asking the cards what to do... In my opinion.

What do you think about this?

One has to bear in mind that she may have some kind of deep-seated need to be miserable, at least for a while.

As a reader, I would probably have pulled three cards for her life if she chooses to stay and three cards for her life if she chooses to leave. Sure he may need a mother and he may indeed need a punching bag, but she doesn't have to be it. Often clients simply need to be reassured that if they leave they *will* find somewhere safe to sleep, they *will* have enough money to feed and house themselves ... usually once you start digging, those are the issues that keep people there and incidentally keep them going to readers.

 

[Grizabella]

Diplomatic/empathetic readers retain more clients and work more than judgemental ones.

I've said this before and I'll say it again, just because someone has the ability to read does not mean that they are an evolved spirit. I know folks tend to assume that, but it is simply not true.

Very true. I agree.

When we read the cards, it helps us keep our own opinions and judgments out of it if we create card positions with titles like: what should I do? And another one for what should I not do? Then stick to what the cards are saying about it without thinking "hmmm, how can these two positions be construed to say what I think is the answer for this sitter?" We may not consciously think it in those words, but if we let our opinions interfere with our reading, then we're not really using the cards in the way they should be used.

In the case of spousal abuse, that's a tough one for me, having spent a lot of my life abused. What I do is say "The cards aside, this problem isn't going to change unless you get help" and I give them information who to contact. I don't put it out as being advice from the cards, though, because it may or may not be there in the cards. (I don't believe the cards will say for them to stay, anyway.) But abuse is not something I can just overlook. However, I tell them a little bit about my life and give them information about where else to go for help, making sure I'm not portraying it as the cards giving that advice.

I'm sure there will be some who might think, "well, if I make it seem like the advice came from the cards, then they'll be more likely to act on that advice." If a person thinks like that, they're using the cards to push their own agenda, not using them to actually help others with information gleaned from the cards.