A non-existant deck for discussion purposes only ....

Strength

Olivia Newton-John as Bitsy Mae Harling... not her usual 'goody-two-shoes' type of role.

Bitsy Mae vaguely remembers her mother dying and finding her on the floor. Falsely accused of setting fire to her trailer home to kill her boyfriend (and his other girlfriend) she spent 18 months in prison. Now out of prison she performs at Bubba's and she gets to sing great songs like 'You may be a Richard, but you sure look like a Dick to me,' and 'It's a Bitch sortin' out our Sordid Lives.'

The World

Bubba's Bar - home/magnet to all the local misfits who don't fit the 'moral profile' of the hypocritical members of the Southside Baptist Church right down the street. Stop in and meet Wardell, Odell, Juanita, Bitsy Mae, GW - even Peggy! Dance a two-step and have a beer!

Open Daily!

Too Much

This is the first card I did in Paint on my new PC - mostly because I was afraid to stop! New PCs can be very scarey!

Vera Lisso - works down at the Corner Stop behind the counter - which she barely fits behind! The owner had to reinforce her stool with I-bolts the other day. And than mean ol' Bitsy Mae said that she was a glutton - right in front of the entire congregation of the Southside Baptist Church! She's NOT a glutton - she has a 'Glandular Problem'!

The Moon

If you are familiar only with the movie version you won't recognize Tink - who is only in the TV version. She is the stage manager for 'Staccato' and Ty is her 'whipping boy' whom she has to degrade at any opportunity. She works for a gay theatre that does nude gay shows but insists that she 'is NOT a lesbian'! Right, Tink, ... let that Moon deceive you as long as you wish...

Too Late

Juanita Bartlett - bless her beer-soaked brain! She single-handedly supports half of Bubba's with her daily visits to the bar - from the minute it opens until it closes. Poor Juanita - she has been calling WCTY 'Where Country is Still Cool' trying to win tickets to a Willie Nelson concert ...too bad the contest ended two years ago ....

The Emperor

Craig Stephen Snow - He is the writer/producer/director of 'Staccato' - the full-frontal nudity play Ty is starring in and can't tell his mother. Craig really tries to be in charge but he does have Tink for a stage manager. Craig only wants what's the best thing for his show ...

I only have one more character to go - 'Too Little' - and the only pathetic character in the lot.

The Last Card - "Too Little"

Poor Glyndora - the worst, most unlucky piece of white trash in Winters, TX. She finally admits to getting dead drunk and falling asleep with a lit cigarette that set fire to Bitsy Mae's trailer - which sent Bitsy to prison for 18 months for the attempted murder of Richie who was asleep in Bitsy's trailer - after committing adultery with Glyndora at the time. Of all the over-the-top characters Del Shores created, Glyndora is the most understated and pathetic one of all.

There you have it! A Majors-Only deck with 4 extra cards that you will never get a chance to buy because it is a totally unauthorized piece of Fan Art!


... and Bitsy's singing in the background: "It's a BITCH sortin' out our sordid little - SORDID LIVES!"