Queen of swords as how to come out on top: proceed carefully or cut him off?

Hi,

I've been dealing with another difficult romantic situation, and the queen of swords is coming up for me like there's no tomorrow.

Most recently as "how to come out on top" (metaphorically of course). The situation involves a guy I met in February I had friend zoned, not talked to for 2 months because I was in love with someone (I had explained it to him), and recently reconnected with a month ago. We'd been dating 1-2 times per week for the most recent month, and on our last date we were a little bit intimate. My feelings suddenly changed, felt a rush for him, I was falling fast.
And then, suddenly he is more distant, cancelled our last plan to hang out for 'another day' and hasn't reconnected with me since. He liked a photo I posted of a friend of a friend of his.

I might be to blame for falling so fast, but this sudden, unexpected, 360 degree change in his attitude has been very upsetting for me. I've actually resisted any impulse to text him and ask "why", because from prior experience once the needles turn, there is simply no coming out on top again.

Anyway, I've had the queen of swords come up in different positions such as "what can I learn from my experience with P" and "How can I come out on top".

It's always been with the steampunk tarot.
http://images1.westword.com/imager/the-queen-of-swords/u/original/6496688/queenswords.jpg

It's a card I actually quite like, and instead of being in her usual cold and haughty position, this queen is accepting an invitation from a suitor extending his hand to her. She is looking him directly in the eye as she holds a long, majestic sword in her other hand.

She looks beautiful and seems to be thinking and communicating with her eyes "I am accepting this invitation but you just watch what I can do to you if you hurt me".

In retrospect, I think this queen may be telling me to proceed cautiously. I am not sure if she is saying to cut him off entirely. She might be saying to investigate first.

Before I had feelings for him, P was someone fun to go out with and talk to. He would invite me to events and even introduced me to his friends. It might be saying there is more to get out of this relationship if I keep a cold head this time.

What are your thoughts?

I think the card may be saying you've involved your heart too soon and that you need to step back a bit and just try to keep your heart out of it. I realize it may be too late for that since women sometimes have a lot of their heart invested in any relationship, especially if it involves intimacy, but that would be the message I get from this card.

How to come out on top; Queen of Swords. This queen comes out and tells it like it is, hold nothing back. This queen is not shy about what she wants and her feelings. If it does not work out, so be it, it wasn't meant to be.

Queen of Swords can be one who is overcomes intense emotions with the power of her mind.

Basically, don't let your emotions consume you. Pierce through the fog of emotional intensity so that you can see clearly. The Queen of Swords is perceptive, but it's because honors her emotions and realizes her biases rather than trying to pretend like they are not their or ignore them, like the King of Swords can sometimes do.

Grizabella said:

I think the card may be saying you've involved your heart too soon and that you need to step back a bit and just try to keep your heart out of it. I realize it may be too late for that since women sometimes have a lot of their heart invested in any relationship, especially if it involves intimacy, but that would be the message I get from this card.

Click to expand...

Hi Griz, this resonated with me most.

I was an emotional mess a week ago, but the root of it wasn't the guy I was seeing, it was my dissatisfaction from being bullied at work. So I placed undue expectations on people I actually don't know that well when I should have removed myself from the work situation sooner.

Consciously though, I was blaming the guy for not asking me out like he usually does, and I was beginning to see faults in myself and wondering what I did. I was really beating myself up.

I've finally regained my composure and I do feel very queens of swords now.

PAMUYA said:

How to come out on top; Queen of Swords. This queen comes out and tells it like it is, hold nothing back. This queen is not shy about what she wants and her feelings. If it does not work out, so be it, it wasn't meant to be.

Click to expand...

Actually this is exactly what I was trying not to do and it worked. If I started blowing up and speaking my mind, I wouldn't have sounded very rational, because my feelings were occupying my outlook, not my thoughts.

So I took space, as hard as it was for me, and I sat with my feelings.

Now I can think clearly. If I get an opportunity to say something that needs to be said, I will, but that's never been my style. They should read between the lines - and to me this queen is cold and distant, not warm and fuzzy (my weakness).

REsubmerged said:

Queen of Swords can be one who is overcomes intense emotions with the power of her mind.

Basically, don't let your emotions consume you. Pierce through the fog of emotional intensity so that you can see clearly. The Queen of Swords is perceptive, but it's because honors her emotions and realizes her biases rather than trying to pretend like they are not their or ignore them, like the King of Swords can sometimes do.

Click to expand...

This was great RE, I read it a few days ago and it brought me back to earth and out of my bubble of unhappiness and mental fog.

Amazing, thank you for saying this.

I get consumed by my emotions because I dive into things headfirst. But I am the queen of swords in a lot of ways - I'm experienced, I've felt pain, and I can just feel content being a wiser woman than before and you're right, acknowledging my biases, I totally have them.

hello you,

Just looked at the card and yes its a beautiful card.. I love it..

combining the image and the actual meaning of queen of swords, I would see several things..

I think its saying that in matters of heart you need to consult your head first and not jump into deep quickly.. the queen is accepting the offer but with cautious and is not ready to let go of her sword.. I think this is saying don't say what you think/feel too quickly.. weigh the situation first before expressing anything love or anger too quickly and most of all, don't share too much too soon.. for example maybe you share too much of what you start to feel with the person too quickly.. and maybe if you felt those rushes of feelings it would have been better to keep it all to yourself for the time being and not communicate it so much.. and waited for more dates/months to pass and maybe by then there would have been a more mutual expressing of feelings from both of you..

I feel that the queen of sword is more choosy in what she communicates than the king.. she maintains an aura of secrecy in terms of what she feels truly..

also the hand that is reaching down, is saying that you should perhaps in future wait for the other person to express feelings first and you should be the one examining their intentions and not the other way around..

I hope this helps and good luck with it all.. xxx

I have never seen this particular queen of swords before. Yes, she is beautiful but she is also dangerous. She's ready to cut off the hand of guy at any minute with that swords she's got. The Queen of Sword is generally emotionally distant.

I think the guy was attracted to you when he couldn't have you. After your last date, he sensed that he could have you if he wanted, and that turned him off. In order to stay on top with this kind of fellow, you must be prepared to cut him out of your life regardless of how you feel with him--when he "makes a mistake", that is. You can't fake it. It must be a real attitude so that he would sense it without you telling him. If he didn't' sense that this risk (danger) exists, he wouldn't be interested enough to continue this chase.

Not my type of guy, but if you like him, have your sword ready to cut off his hand, like this particular queen of swords.

I love the Q of S. She's often me. I have a think-y job and think-y pastimes, and when some distasteful formerly romantic interlude rattles me, she'll show up to remind me who I am: A woman with a brain in her head. Queen Swordia, as I like to think of her, reminds you to be smart, listen to that wise noggin of yours, just as you have so far. Your decision not to text is quite smart (wish I were better at that one). You do know the deal, so trust your judgment and be the Frosty One until you're past the pain. I often see her as saying "You know the answer! Why are you asking me?"