kislany said:
I am on a spiritual journey as of late (woke up after 35 years of complete atheism, lack of spiritual
I think
that's the spin I would take on this. The 5/Pents, like all 5's, is about loss, afterall. The Rider-Waite image is of the poor folk outside a rich church. So there you are, the atheist looking in those stained glass windows, having lost, in an instant, all spiritual wealth. I'm not saying that you want to go into the church; in fact, the card may be trying to tell you that your true center isn't to be found in any organized religion.
I think the card describes your true self very accurately. And it certainly describes how you're feeling--from what you say, you're not altogether happy with this atheism--else why are you seeking spirituality? Like the beggars, you seem to feel like you're poor, like you need something more to feed yourself, keep you warm and comfortable. However, like those beggars, you also seem to feel like you're on your own.
Now I know that this sounds a little bleak, but the thing you have to remember about 5/Pents is that, like all 5's, it's not only a card of loss, but of transformation, of tests, of change. 4's are where you're stuck; nothing is moving forward. The loss and imblance of 5's have to happen in order for you to transition into the peaceful 6's where balance is restored at a higher level. And 5, as pointed out elsewhere, is the Hierophant's number. So 5's are certainly about spiritual trails, doubts and questions. About finding your
own connection to the divine--rather than having someone tell you how to make that connection. Going through this "poverty" is going to help you learn who you are; what you think, what you believe, what you REALLY want and need.
You're on your own...as we all are when it come to finding something more in the universe than ourselves. And that's as scary as being the solitary beggar outside the church on a winter's night. But enduring this will teach you far more--and give you answers more sure and real and true than any you could find by going through those stained glass doors. What you're looking for isn't in there. That, I think, what the card is trying to tell you. Your true self, your center, is out there in the snow.