hunter said:
I have picked the mother card in my Magical Mermaids deck, 2 days in a row after feeling totally traumatized by mother's day. It just keeps ripping open my wounds that haven't even closed yet. A friend tried to help me think about all the things that she thought maybe I should be attending to and that just further traumatized me.
I threw the deck across the room. I had stopped using this deck and almost gave it away. I don't like how it shuffles. I wish I hadn't pulled it back out, but it was a gift.
My friend said to hold my mom in the light. I told her I'd rather light the card on fire right now.
I don't want to get into a mother discussion. Just wondering what you all do if a deck is ripping your heart to shreds.
When you're traumatized already by a day laden with symbolic meaning, and the cards you pull touch on the same open wound on top of that, I'm not surprised that you feel like "hitting back in defense" somehow (= wanting to light the respective card on fire).
Do it (light the card on fire, that is) if it makes you feel better. Or pick another way to express your anger that doesn't harm you or any other living beings. Seriously. All of us occasionally need such a stand-in for the real source of our problems (= for that someone/something too "big" and/or too far away to tackle directly).
It's also perfectly okay to give away/burn/throw out something that doesn't feel good to you, even if it has been a gift. If that's too drastic, putting the thing out of your sight is also an option.
If all of that still isn't an option, try asking the cards about ways to comfort yourself, ways to make you feel a bit better, maybe even ways that may help you heal this wound at some point. The cards are yours, and they are on your side. They don't have any power that you don't let them have.
When I pull cards that bring up painful stuff, it's usually so I can learn something. Sometimes I understand how one pain is connected to a particular source. Sometimes I finally see another way to deal with things that I haven't seen before. Sometimes it's just so I can have some safe space to actually
feel the pain and work my way through it on my own terms. It can still be hard to see the good thing about the pain when you're in the middle of it.
It also doesn't sound as if the friend was much of a help to you in that situation. Maybe you can find some other company for future situations like this? Someone who doesn't imply that feeling and expressing your anger and hurt is not okay? Or, if there's no such someone around right now, maybe you can stay alone on days when you feel particularly raw? At any rate, I believe it's up to you to decide what you need (and want) to attend to and what not.
I hope some of this was useful. Best wishes!