Dating Issues with the Queen of Pentacles

[earthmama]

Okay, so the last three guys I've gone out with where I felt an attraction to or connection with, didn't ask me out again. I asked "what did they think of me?" (three separate occasions, a few months apart), and all thought of me as the Queen of Pentacles. For two of the guys, I also pulled the Queen of Pents as reasons they didn't ask me out again.

Now I'm flattered that any person would see me as self-sufficient, independent, nurturing, etc. but perhaps they're seeing the more negative aspects of me in this card? I'm very earthy, not materialistic though... so what else could this card be telling me that I'm missing? And how would you read this Queen if she came up like this for you?

 

[nisaba]

Perhaps it's her practical, organised side that gets to them. Or you remind them of their mothers ... she's the most motherly Queen.

 

[Thirteen]

I know you asked "what did they think" meaning "what did they think" that made them not ask you out again, but maybe the card is indicating what they thought they'd get when they went out with you? Queen/Pents is, as you say, "Earthy." Maybe they thought you were going to get far more "earthy" with them? And they didn't go on a second date because you actually weren't as Queen/Pents as they'd hoped?

 

[taureuse]

i may be biased as a queen of pents kinda gal, but today i was thinking about a side of her that people overlook. all the earth signs i know, especially tauruses like myself because we really like pretty things (that aren't necessarily expensive or fancy in that kind of materialistic sense) tend to have a very specific taste or aesthetic that's really unique to them. like you see something like a piece of art or clothing or furniture and visually it just immediately reminds you of them. i have people all the time say things to me like "oh, this is so you" or "look at this, it reminded me of you". i don't know how to relate this to your question, but i wanted to put that out there in case it helps in any way.

another thing about pentacle people is that we're very set in our ways and don't change very much... we are dependable sometimes to a fault. that's why some people think we are boring or frustrating. for example, i get the same coffee order at my local café every time when i go in the morning... and then if i go in the afternoon it's another drink every time... and usually, the same sandwich if i decide to get lunch there. they make fun of me for it sometimes, haha. so i could see that as a problem men might have with you that this queen could represent. they might see you as being too predictable. of course, this says nothing about how you ACTUALLY are, just how men see you. and that can always be entirely inaccurate )

 

[Enlightenment23]

The Queen of Pentacles is known as being down-to-earth. She's the woman, out of all the queens, that Drake is referring to when he says "hair tied, chillin' with no make up on." Really consider what "down-to-earth" means and how that might translate into who you are. Some men dig a down-to-earth chick, a woman that doesn't seek to impress anyone and is very "take me or leave me!" What you see is what you get. She might just wear chapstick, push her hair back into a simple bun, and wear a modest dress. The Queen of Pentacles is also the type to swear off heat-styling tools and embrace her hair's natural curls/waves.

Other men, on the other hand, prefer the prim and proper types that do "put their best foot forward" to impress their dates aesthetically and personality-wise - even if it's a bit of a facade. So it's possible that they were not diggin' the "what you see is what you get," modest, humble, plain jane vibe and prefer someone who is, for a lack of a better word, "self-conscious" about her image and personality.

 

[IndigoWaves]

I wonder if you've been like the Queen of Pents by quietly gazing downward (RWS imagery) too much or otherwise seeming disengaged during your dates. Maybe they find you attractive but overly shy and subtle, or just not responding to them in an energizing way that would fuel greater interest... So it might help to be more open, attentive and interactive, focusing more directly on whoever's physically present.

 

[LeFou]

I'm very earthy, not materialistic though...

Are you doing sustainable things, pottery, woodworking, sewing, gardening, crafts, nutrition, etc.? Maybe this queen (in their eyes) is looking to "settle down," make a home, find a longer-term relationship. That finds a season but they might not be there (yet?)

 

[earthmama]

Thank you!

Wow, I'm amazed at how every response here completely relates to me and who I am (other than the mother thing- I'm not trying to remind anyone of their mother, haha, but good to keep in mind!). Okay... this is really good!

Nisaba & taureuse- I am practical, dependable, organized, and can be a little too set in my ways and too predictable. I am really trying to find my spontaneous and fun self again after my divorce.

Thirteen- The two guys where I pulled the Queen as to why they didn't ask me out again were very forward physically (in subtle and respectful ways). Both invited me back to their places a few times and I declined. So perhaps they were only looking to get 'earthy' with me!

Enlightenment23- Your description fits me to a 't'! I use no heat styling tools and love my natural brown hair (even though I have a few grays)... haven't changed from my natural color for over 10 years), and I am such a "take me or leave me" gal!!

IndigoWaves- This is the best advice for me - I need to be "more open, attentive and interactive, focusing more directly on whoever's physically present."

Lefou- Yes, I am "looking to "settle down," make a home, find a longer-term relationship", and this could very well be the case.

You guys are all so awesome! Thank you for helping me understand this card. This is so helpful!!

 

[SunChariot]

Okay, so the last three guys I've gone out with where I felt an attraction to or connection with, didn't ask me out again. I asked "what did they think of me?" (three separate occasions, a few months apart), and all thought of me as the Queen of Pentacles. For two of the guys, I also pulled the Queen of Pents as reasons they didn't ask me out again.

Now I'm flattered that any person would see me as self-sufficient, independent, nurturing, etc. but perhaps they're seeing the more negative aspects of me in this card? I'm very earthy, not materialistic though... so what else could this card be telling me that I'm missing? And how would you read this Queen if she came up like this for you?

What the card would say for me, on why someone would not ask you out again, would be a mismatch of goals. Saying that the goals they had were very different than yours. Maybe you wanted a relationship and they wanted a one night stand, for example.

Pents, for me, as about goals and how to accomplish them. Queens are about working together effectively. So Queen of Pents as a reason things did not mover forward = you could not work together towards a common goal, or agree on a common goal.

Babs