Get rid of a journal?

[WooMonkey]

As some of you know, I work at a program with learning disabled clients. I use tarot with some of them for insight, and discussion. One of them did a lot of journaling through a VERY emotionally painful time in her life. She is on the upswing now, and is starting to look forward to the future instead of dwelling on the past.

I know that people hold on to their full journals so that they can look at them later, and see if they see/feel differently about things. The contents of this client's journal however, have almost taken on an aversive life of their own. She feels it represents a reminder of an awful time in her life, that she never wants to relive or revisit.

So my question is--Would it ever be better to just throw away a journal and get rid of it? Could it be a part of a healing process or perhaps a symbolic act of independence from the past? (Does everyone keep all their journals always, anyway?)

Any advice or experiences are appreciated. Thanks!!!

Woo!

 

[cricket]

If something like that happens, I ALWAYS get rid of the journal/item that reminds me of such a bad time. It's something like spellwork. Write it all down, get it out, then burn it to rid myself of everythign associated with it.

The memories will still be there, and the experience is there and helped form me as a person, but all the bad stuff is just gone.

 

[WalesWoman]

If this person feels that strongly about her journal... rather than throwing it away, maybe she should almost make a ceremony of burning it. It would be gone, it would feel much better than tossing it in the trash for someone to find accidently...

I did that once gathered up all the letters, poetry and stuff from a time in my life I wanted to be free from and it was wonderful, uplifting and I really did feel like those ties to the past were gone, as the breeze carried the ashes away.

 

[brenmck]

I can certainly relate to ceremonially destroying an ugly relic of the past, but there have been too many instances where I've been ready to burn one of my "pain journals" but when thumbing through them one last time discovered a line of insight that I really needed to be reminded of - a welcome synchronicity. It's also good to notice the transition from ranting and venting to reflection and insight. Recently I've actually thrown away old family pictures and artifacts when packing and moving but have held on to all my journals. There are two sides to this coin, that's for sure. But if you throw one away be sure to start another one.

 

[Alta]

I read somewhere that holding onto that kind of material can prolong depression. Dunno, but it seems like holding onto any bad memory. It needs to be formally released.

 

[Grizabella]

I'd probably keep it if it were me, because the insights in looking back on it somewhere down the line can be invaluable. But maybe just locking it up somewhere for the time being where only she could access it-------but not where someone who might be snooping around could find it------would also be ceremonially significant while still allowing the option of preserving it for some later time in case she ever did want to look back on it. Bottom line, I think, is that she should do with it whatever she personally feels is the most healing and therapeutic. What would be best for any one of us might be exactly the wrong thing for someone else.

I've counselled people to write out things to get them "out of their heads" and onto paper, then had them burn what they've written in a ceremony, and then take the ashes and put them into a little bundle which they tie to a helium balloon. They take the balloon to some secluded spot that's meaningful to them and release the balloon with its packet of ashes, symbolically giving the unhappiness to the Universe. For some reason, it seemed more healing for them to see the packet of ashes leaving the earth and going away "somewhere" instead of having a particular place where the ashes are in the earth. It's been a more total cleansing and release for them this way.

 

[Abrac]

Normally I would say get rid of the journal, but when you say it's contents have "taken on an aversive life of their own" it makes me wonder if there still aren't issues she needs to work out. Destroying the journal would help her feel better temporarily, but in the long run it might be more productive for her to talk about what's bothering her.

Best Wishes

fools_fool

 

[mythos]

I had a near death experience in 2000. Since then I have burned, or in some way, destroyed anything which might prove painful to those who have to go through my papers after I die. When that happens ... and my experience showed me that it can happen at any time, I won't be around to feel embarrassed or whatever, but the people who are left are already in a state of pain ... why contribute to it by loading them down with a 'pain' diary?

Yes ... some things have been more difficult to release than others. That, to me, is merely an indication that I have unfinished business, and a ceremony of letting go ... which includes a 'burning' ... is very helpful.

mythos

 

[WalesWoman]

Mythos, I would have given my eye teeth, left arm and much more to have found a "pain" diary to understand what my dad was thinking and feeling and what finally drove him to self destruct. I looked for clues everywhere I could think of, passages in the Bible that he'd left bookmarks in, the trash, if there was a note his wife found it first and destroyed it along with the "new" will he told my brother he was writing that day. I never have found the answers and can only guess what was going through his mind. It may have hurt like hell to read it, but the not knowing was worse.

When I did burn all that stuff, I did burn a bit more than I should have as well, I wished I'd have saved some of the poetry, even tho' it was sappy.

 

[Marua]

so sad...

Of corse you would want to delete painful parts of your life. And sometimes i think you should.
In my early teens, getting through school was very hard. The diary i wrote at that time was filled with bad memories. And even though i loved that floral fabric-bound book my grandmother gave me for christmas, it ended in the trash, with all the pages torn to shreads. To this day i have no regrets.
Even though most of my time in school was pretty fun, the last to or three years was a nightmare, and everything connected to it was tossed away.
The past is over. Only the now counts for me.