have realised the error of my ethics.

[Apollonia]

I'm trying to figure out why there is so much energy and intensity surrounding this topic. I'm fascinated by the posts and the differing viewpoints, and the discussion has made me think anew about what my boundaries and beliefs are. But it also makes my stomach hurt when I read some of the more pointed posts, same as with some religious/political topics where people are so very certain about their own beliefs that there seems to be no way to find a point of agreement. It feels to me that with some posts here, there is some kind of a wish to make everyone do it the same way, with set in stone guidelines that we all adhere to. But I have my own personal guidelines. I'm only going to alter them to suit myself. I've spent a long time finding my own way. I can't do it someone else's way, because that's not me, it's someone else, and I'm not swimming in their river, but my own.

 

[Emily]

I've read through these posts with great interest. I usually only read for myself and on here but its made me think what my code of ethics should be.

I have done readings on other people for myself. My Mom, Hubby and son have all been read for without their knowledge - but what I learn never goes further than myself. All my readings are kept passwork protected to keep from prying eyes. I still don't feel that these readings are wrong - My Mom has health worries that she won't easily talk about and I like to know well before time if she's going to go into meltdown.

But reading this thread had made me more aware of what my ethics should be. And I think my main one will be no third party readings if I think the reading would be too intimate or intrusive.

I too think that Abigail posted her post as a knee-jerk reaction. I hope she does come back, even though she thinks that most of our members ethics don't follow her own, we are all individuals, tarot can become very dull when you only have yourself and your cards for company - unless that is what she really wants. I wouldn't want to be a solitary tarotist again .

I wish her well on her path.

 

[Kahlie]

I'm trying to figure out why there is so much energy and intensity surrounding this topic.

Simple. This are people's personal beliefs, ethics, guidelines. As such, they are tremendously... personal =) Which means that if others attack them, or if people perceive them attacked, a huge amount of intensity comes up.

Regardless of what most people bring to the fore as their opinions, or how passionate they are about them... A Path of Ethics is a Personal Path. Therefore, Agreements are not necessary, or even wanted. Except for the Agreement to honor and respect other people's opinions. Any other Agreement is made out of a compromise, which shouldn't be done.

Kahlie

 

[vision777]

wow i never seen such things in a tarot forum. it reminds me of hanging with my fake friends. where all they do is gossips about one another then one threatens to tell all when they are sick of the fakeness or feels pushed up against the wall.the planet mars and mercury explosive information would make since here along with the page of wands with him yelling i'm telling lol.but seriously thats kind of deep to know information like that and i think thats why they say you should read with the permission from that person. but to be honest alot of people probaly do it but just don't amitt to it.i think that's what really bothers people. the truth always hurts what eles is new.

 

[le pendu]

I remember months ago a thread of readings to help find a missing girl.

Where does this fall into the discussion?

best,
robert

 

[Crystelle]

I'll add my coins of wisdom to the mix...

I felt I needed to say it, though it might be wildly unopoular: Though I generally consider an instigatory statement like the one posted here ample fodder for a indepth look at relevant issues, I must admit that my code of conduct would have forced me to refrain from using some of the more personal instances used by the original poster. I found some of them to be quite...malicious. I enjoy feeling as though I can express myself freely (and respectfully) in this forum - it is important for those of us that have no one else to talk to about these sorts of topics. I have seen other posts (and responded) which were significantly less inflamatory and had just the same amount of responses.

As for my code of conduct (or ethics as you like) I don't feel that it is okay to read about someone unless you are genuinely concerned for their well-being (for example, the reading on a missing friend for which there was no contact information). I don't think that's spying or invading someone's privacy. However, I agree with many that this is a personal dilemma. I am famous for saying that what one does in their life is ultimately between them and their G_D; they are not answerable to me and I am not to them.

As a parting thought:

Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions.
Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits.
Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character.
Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.
Author unknown

 

[elysgrl]

I remember months ago a thread of readings to help find a missing girl.

Where does this fall into the discussion?

best,
robert

I wasn't part of that thread, but I did a reading recently about a coworker who had gone missing. They had found her car, but not her, and some people were speculating that she had run off. I suspected she was dead, and my reading confirmed it. Her body was found four days later.

I didn't have any qualms about doing the reading, but I didn't do anything with the information other than tell my husband. I didn't mention it to any of my other coworkers until after the fact.....what good would it have done to dash everybody's hopes? It did seem right to share it after they found her, as the reading was strangely uplifting and I thought it might comfort some.

The story was in the news, in the public domain, but truthfully I would have done the reading anyway.

As far as other areas go, yes I've read for family members without their permission on rare occasions, when I felt it was warranted (sick mom, moody close-mouthed teen, etc.) In all cases I told them after the fact, nobody was upset, and my conscious was, and still is, clear.

There was only one time I knew I had crossed a line. I peeked into the marriage of a couple I know.....mainly because they seem so mismatched, and I was curious. It was a "What on earth does he see in her?" kind of reading. Terrible, I know. No excuse for it. I literally felt sick to my stomach afterward.

I think in most cases our guts will tell us when we've used the cards unethically.

 

[Moongold]

One can also receive information about people just by thinking about them, whether one actively asked or not. We live in a psychic soup of information exchange all the time. So, we all better polish up our souls lest our inner selves leak out for all to see! Or at least for the psychically gifted to perceive.

The tarot does not come with laws and edicts. Ultimately, one is responsible for what one does with it just as one is called to spiritual account in other areas of life. Right intention might be taken into consideration. Also, the phrase "do no harm" might be useful.

The above sums it up for me. I think discussions like this do give cause for reflection, not only on the subject of ethics in reading but also on how much we listen to each other on this forum (and in real life), and how we treat others. I have seen countless threads on Aeclectic where people clearly have not read or reflected on the words of others and the thread takes a chaotic life of its own. Please note that I'm not pointing a finger at anyone in this thread, just making a general observation after years of experience here.

I remember months ago a thread of readings to help find a missing girl.

Where does this fall into the discussion?

That is a very interesting question.

A few years ago a young woman, Brooke Wilburger, was taken from her sister's motel in a northern US State. She has never been found. Indigo Rose led a series of readings at Aeclectic with the aim of helping to find her. Those readings occurred in the intense days after Brooke’s disappearance when the search was very active and Indigo Rose passed the information from these readings on to the authorities who were desperate for ANY information. I joined in the process because I have a lot of respect for Indigo Rose as a reader, and the disappearance of the young woman in that manner caused me quite intense distress.

After a while I suggested, along with others, that we stop the process because some of it seemed to become a little speculative. I felt we were in danger of becoming like the media, but metaphysically. All the readings were posted here and for some reason I felt very uncomfortable about the direction some of it was heading. Assertions could be made with very little evidence. It was a really good example of collective "ethics" in action. We all agreed to let it go, and apart from one brief attempt at looking for a mass murderer in Massachusetts, I've never participated in another of those exercises, and nor or will I. I can manage my own ethics, not the approach of others.

I did separate readings some time ago on the disappearance of two people in Iraq, Margaret Hassan and Donald Wood. Both of those readings were on the *disappearance* of the those two people and not on anything else
about them. Again, I experienced a very deep distress in both situations and felt a strong urge to do the readings. Perhaps that was simply a *tuning in* to a particular wave length of pain. They were "political” disappearances as well, not with the *hometown* and very personal aspects of Brooke's disappearance. The ethical issues were different for me, anyway. In reality, the ethics around the three situations were unique.

I do agree with the remarks of early posters that all situations call for an individual and unique approach. That does not mean, however, that one should not have "codes of ethics" as I stated in an earlier post and that there is something inherently unnecessary about such codes. I suspect those who say they don't have them do indeed have them but they may simply be unwritten. We all have, I think, our own psychic codes of ethics. We may simply call them our conscience.

Moongold

 

[Azarial]

Personally Abigal I think that it is pathetic that you would go to these lengths just because someone doesn't agree with your set of ethics. No one has a right to tell another person what thier set of ethics should be. No one is saying that your ethics are wrong, they are just saying that everyone has the right to thier own ethics without someone telling them different. If you don't want to pry into someone elses lives thats fine, but don't tell someone else that they cant.

~Azarial~

 

[MercyMe]

However, like stated before asking: "Is X suicidal" is an invasion of privacy. Hereby, I would only do an "open information" reading. For reasons of misinterpretation and privacy. Plus that I would approach this person FIRST to talk about things. I must first talk about my concerns, and tell a person how I got to them, and why. Only if the person totally shuts up, and I have exhausted this path, and I still feel something nagging me, then I will approach the Cards with an "open information" request.

I agree, Kahlie, and in the thread I am thinking about, the first advice the poster received from several members here was: TALK to your friend. At least try to talk to him. She was doubtful that he would talk to her, which is why she was considering consulting the cards, but she was advised to exhaust that avenue first.

I guess I'm feeling a little defensive about this community. Abigail's attack displayed an ignorance only a person new here could display. If she'd read the many threads here such as the one I'm talking about above, she might have seen that, by and large, this community is populated by a majority of highly ethical tarot practitioners who use common sense and respect. I'm not just "believing the best" about people here, I'm going by what I've read, what they've actually said on this site.

While I agree with you that not everybody has the same level of skill and ability, everybody is growing. It doesn't hurt to think about it. Better put forethought into action. What if you think you "won't" ever see anything and then you do? Better to not fall into a moral morass if you can help it.

I thought about this when I posted. I thought, "What if I was in training to become a surgeon, wouldn't I be working out my ethics as I went? Wouldn't I be thinking ahead to what I would and would not feel comfortable doing WHEN I finally did practice surgery?" Yes, I would. But so many times in our lives we really and truly don't know how we should or ought to respond before we are confronted with it. I'm thinking here about when I've heard people say, "If my husband ever did thus and so, I'd be so out of there!" Really? We often say what we HOPE we'd do, but when we're actually confronted with the reality and the complexities that we couldn't have predicted, sometimes we have to admit it's just not as black or white as we previously imagined. Which is why I've stressed, and so have you and others here, the need for flexibility in our "codes of conduct" or "ethics" or whatever we prefer to call them. Some people are really uncomfortable with fluid lines, they feel safer in strongly demarcated boundaries, and I often hear the term "situational ethics" spat out like it's a bad word when in reality most people DO adjust their behavior and ethics according to situations, at least to some degree. I think we miss opportunities for growth if we refuse to even consider the possibility. All that to say, yes, I think you're right. It's beneficial to think beforehand how one might handle a given situation in tarot since we have availed ourselves of its study and practice and we very well may be faced with certain sticky situations sooner or later.

Of course you must think on what you will do with the information. But if you leave yourself open due to the Question ("How is X's operation going to go?"), because you haven't thought of the consquences, not only the Querent, but also you get hurt. What if you see horrid images or have the feeling the person will die? Better to think about such things in advance! Don't ask Question to which you do not want the answer, or which answer might unsettle you or bring you into the moral morass

Yes, which is why I said the framing of the question is really very crucial, especially when faced with the potential that we could be confronted with disturbing and compromising information. Your last statement is very much in line with the wise adage: Be careful of what you wish for...

Mercy