How to react to disbelievers?

[Rovay]

Here is an example - I am invited to a private session somewhere, I go. I lay down the cards in a horseshoe, for example, and such cards appear, that I know for sure that when we are done here, even though the one I am reading to is amazed during the session, will stop believing soon after and start telling him or herself that what I read will not happen. And even if I didn't see that being said to me from the cards, it would be obvious when the seeker would ask me seven or eight times to explain the last, outcome card. I know I am not supposed to, but after the cards are laid down and I am done with the spread, I love my spiritual focus and can easily get frustrated with this type of thing.

So, how do, dear colleagues, react to people like this? How do you react to disbelief?

...I am sorry if I posted the topic in the wrong section again.

 

[tarotcognito]

Unfortunately, you have no control over how people are going to react to your readings. You may think you have a pretty good idea if you're good at picking up cues (posture, tone of voice, etc.), and most of the time you'll probably be right, but you don't actually know. And there's really nothing you can say or do, or not say or not do, that will make a sceptic believe. Such people have likely made up their minds BEFORE the reading that they're not going to believe you if the cards or what you have to say about them doesn't suit them.

It's like being a waiter/waitress. The vast majority of the time, you're pretty sure the average customer is going to leave reasonably satisfied. Not necessarily ecstatic, but satisfied enough because they got something out of their experience. Buuuut... every once in a while, you'll get that odd customer that, no matter what you say or do and how many twists and contorsions you attempt to try to please them, nothing's going to change their minds: they didn't like what you dished out, and that's that.

As for how to deal with a reading like that, if you know you've exhausted every possible meaning to the outcome and there's nothing more you can add that would satisfy the querent, you could try a tactful conclusion by smiling, picking up the cards, PUTTING THEM AWAY while saying something to the effect of, "I'm sorry, Mr. Smith, this really is as much as I am able to get from the cards. Perhaps we can do this again some other time." Most people will pick up easily enough that they're pushing the issue for no reason, will take their cue and leave it at that.

If they don't take the hint and insist you do another reading or repeat another explanation, you'll have to be firm and more direct, making it clear that the reading is done. If you have to, just get up and leave, again trying to smile and leaving on a positive note - at least from your point of view.

Not sure if this helped in any way...

 

[zengirl]

Are you talking about a disbeliever or someone who doesn't like the outcome and will be in denial?

 

[Rovay]

Are you talking about a disbeliever or someone who doesn't like the outcome and will be in denial?

Both of 'em!

@Canadian Girl - I am lucky about that People never ask for another reading, they know I only do one per person, and only up to three people per day. Instead, they do the other way around and keep on and on asking about the meaning of the outcome card, hoping to hear something different. Not sure if that isn't actually worse... xD

 

[tarotcognito]

Both of 'em!

@Canadian Girl - I am lucky about that People never ask for another reading, they know I only do one per person, and only up to three people per day. Instead, they do the other way around and keep on and on asking about the meaning of the outcome card, hoping to hear something different. Not sure if that isn't actually worse... xD

Well, it looks to me like you just have to be firm when the reading is over. People who want 10,000 explanations for an outcome they don't like have an issue with being open and facing things they find unpleasant. That's IMHO. And that's their problem, not yours. When the reading is over, it's over. Pick up your cards while telling the person that there's nothing more you can add to the reading at this time, PUT YOUR CARDS AWAY and tell the person you'd be happy to do another reading again for them SOME OTHER TIME. Smile, be pleasant, but be inexorably FIRM in putting an end to the session. NOW.

Then leave. I know it's not easy, dealing with difficult querents like that, but it's best for both yourself and them that you put an end to the session quickly. All they're doing otherwise is flogging a dead horse and taking you down with them. That saps a person's energy and focus, as you said. :-D

 

[Apollonia]

Here is an example - I am invited to a private session somewhere, I go. I lay down the cards in a horseshoe, for example, and such cards appear, that I know for sure that when we are done here, even though the one I am reading to is amazed during the session, will stop believing soon after and start telling him or herself that what I read will not happen. And even if I didn't see that being said to me from the cards, it would be obvious when the seeker would ask me seven or eight times to explain the last, outcome card. I know I am not supposed to, but after the cards are laid down and I am done with the spread, I love my spiritual focus and can easily get frustrated with this type of thing.

So, how do, dear colleagues, react to people like this? How do you react to disbelief?

...I am sorry if I posted the topic in the wrong section again.

First off, are you reading for a fee? If so, you have the perfect way to end the reading by saying, as I do, "And that's our time. Thank you." Sometimes I do need to interrupt the sitter mid-question, but you get used to it, and truly, they don't mind if you say it nicely with a smile. The ones who go on and on with questions are probably used to being interrupted anyway. Usually they don't even seem to notice.

Second, I don't understand the idea of having the cards say something personal to you, the reader, while you are reading for someone else. Is there one particular position for that information? If that is the case, I would say that you might want to develop a spread that doesn't go into what the sitter thinks of you, because in my experience, that way lies madness, or at the very least, unease.

Third, having any expectation whatsoever of how the sitter will react to, or feel about, your reading at the time of the reading will generally be an anxiety-provoking exercise. It doesn't matter whether they say they love you and the reading and believe everything you said, whether they say they don't believe a word of it, or whether they get up and say nothing. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, and the proof of a good reading is having the sitter, at some unknown point, say to him- or herself, "Wow, that was right on the money." Unfortunately, much of the time, you will never know whether this has happened unless the sitter returns, and there are many reasons why they would not come back to tell you how good the reading was.

Long story short, you have to let it go. If they express disbelief during the reading, what has worked for me is to say, "Well that's what I see. If it doesn't resonate with you at this moment, I would ask you to take it with you, hold it in your heart, and at some point in the future, it may make more sense to you." Period.

 

[Rovay]

@ Apollonia - they didn't say something for me especially, more of that he seeker would prove stubborn. I don't want to go too much into detail, because it may kind of interfere with the discretion rule.

And meh, I don't take fees. I love tarot too much to do so - I am afraid I may lose whatever helps me read them if I start to charge people.

And for the third, I didn't go with any expectations, just with the eagerness to start reading again after I was finally able to again.

And aye, I agree with you and the Canadian Girl. It is obvious I should start being more... Firm, you said? Yes, I like that word.

 

[nisaba]

So, how do, dear colleagues, react to people like this? How do you react to disbelief?

Something like:-

"You're certainly entitled to your opinons. I've been reading for X years, and have made a bit of a study of it. You've seen fit to seek out my skills. Here's my business card - come back in a few months and let me know how things are for you then."

 

[Rovay]

Something like:-

"You're certainly entitled to your opinons. I've been reading for X years, and have made a bit of a study of it. You've seen fit to seek out my skills. Here's my business card - come back in a few months and let me know how things are for you then."

...I should write that one down. Maybe spice it up a little.

 

[nisaba]

<smile> Feel free.