Is virginity sacred?

[Kiama]

I was having a nose about on another spiritual forum on Beliefnet, and the teen section had board about virginity. On it, loads of the members were discussing whether or not virginity should be saved for your wedding night, what virginity was, what true love was, what it entailed, and what marriage was. A frequent mini-discussion was about the body being a temple.

So, what do you think? What would you class as the loss of virginity? Some women have said that, although first time sex for them was being raped, they felt they didn't lose their virginity until they first had consesual sex. And some people have said that sometimes they feel as though their virginity is renewed on thier wedding night or when they make love to a new person for the first time. Obviously this isn't a physical renewal (That would be very annoying!!) but more of a mental one.

Some religions say that sex shoud not be had before marriage. Your virginity is something given by God, and therefore you should not just give it away blindly. It is also seen as something which you have, which nobody can take away from you until you decide to give it to them.

Some people also say that they want to wait until their wedding night, cuz it'll make their new spouse feel so special: So special, cuz this person has kept their virginity specially, sort of like a gift. Then others just point to the practical issues of STD's, pregnancy, etc....

Personally, I think that sex before marriage is absolutely fine, as long as it's with somebody you love. I don't think I could have sex with somebody who I didn't love deeply, because sex for me is a sacred act, and something to be shared with my loved one. Is so personal and intimate, and to share this with somebody you don't trust, or know properly is very brave, amongst other things. I am not a virgin. I lost my virginity about 11 months ago, to the man that is still my boyfriend. I loved him when we made love for the first time, and to me, marriage is merely the legally binding document that signifies to the world that we are together. For me, the loving, sexual union of ur bodies, souls, and minds during the act of love-making is the true marriage, witnessed by both of us, and the Gods. I see my body as a temple, yes, but surely a temple is there for a reason: Not just to be looked at, but to be shared with others. I see my boyfriend's body as a temple also, both of our bodies are gifts from the Gods, but I think that condemning sex before marriage misses the point of what true marriage is.

Some people say that you know when its true love, cuz that does entail being able to wait until your wedding night... I'm not so sure.

What do you guys think?

Kiama

 

[Malachite]

I think perhaps it is the love that is sacred...the corollary of that being that you should only sleep with people you love...I guess people that get raped don't have that choice though...

btw...apparently I know nothing about you except 'bisonfest'....

 

[amyel]

...losing ones virginity is the first full coital intercourse (sex) act. End of story. Doesn't matter how it occured, unfortunately. So technically, a gal who has never had sex with a man could still be a virgin, even though she may have had several lesbian relationships. Unless current medical definitions have caught up with the times - and I doubt that.

If you throw love into the equation, though, I suppose it opens up a whole different conversation.

Personally, I don't see what the whole "waiting for your wedding night" idea is - because let's face it, for the vast majority of us gals, the first time was painful, and probably a little "rushed", if you get my drift. I certainly wouldn't have wanted my wedding night to be remembered as "painful".

Having said that, do I ever wish I had waited a little longer? Sometimes. But I did think I was "in love" at the time and it had to happen sometime....

I guess the bottom line here is to engage in a sexual union when both partners feel ready. To me, that is the most important.

 

[nexyjo]

i believe sex is sacred. but i also believe that love is not a prerequisite - i believe one can have sex without love if that is their choice. i've had my share of that i guess.

i don't believe people should wait until their wedding night, again, if that is their choice. sex is usually a very large part of a relationship, and if the people wait, and find they are not very compatible in bed, they are in for a long, miserable ride that's doomed for failure, or at the very least, adultry.

luv and light,
nexy

 

[jade]

i disagree, i feel that making love to someone, male or female (gay or heter) doesn't matter........it's still making love. and that act is loosing ones virginity.

i feel that it is very special. once you go there, even once, it changes the rest of your relationships for the rest of your life.

as a woman who has had many "offenders"........i don't consider that as the loss of my virginity. i consider it the first time that i chose to do it. for me, it's more sacred and cherished that way.

in light,
jade

 

[kayne]

Interesting topic...

Why wait? Once you have had sex all you want to do is have more and by waiting you are only missing out...

Just my humble opinion...

btw I have never had sex with the opposite sex and never plan to. I like men too much... I don't think of myself as a virgin though...

 

[Mateo06]

I think virginity is a sacred thing. And for anyone who can wait for marriage my hats of to them, but i think they will miss out on something. I know i won't wait. Or at least i dont want to wait until marriage, but i do want to wait for that right someone, and i am sure that right some one i won't be with forever.

 

[purplelady]

maybe we should ask Brittany Spears.

 

[Major Tom]

In many Christian churches matrimony is celebrated as a sacrament. The Knights Templar were rumored to have developed sex magick rituals to accompany the sacrament of matrimony. Presumably both participants were virgins...

From Modern Sex Magick by Donald Michael Kraig:

"... every act of sexual intercourse produces a 'magickal childe' (the term and spelling was popularized by Crowley). This 'childe' is a term used to mean 'an effect on the astral plane.' As previously stated, anything which is created on the astral plane eventually manifests on the physical plane.

Presumably then - sexual intercourse practiced for the first time with reverence and love can have specific benefits in the participants lives.

I do hope this helps put virginity in perspective...

 

[kayne]

Do you think most men don't think it is as sacred as it seems most women do? Perhaps it has something to do with men not being 'physically' different after their first time... What are your opinions?