Kiama and her Cambridge disappointment

[Diana]

Kiama,

Do you realise that if the Guiding Spirit of the Universe, for whom you are vital in order too accomplish Its task on Earth, has decided you're going to Aberdeen, there must be some very good reason. Do you think It would cause you such pain and disappointment for nothing, just for the hell of it? I doubt such a decision was taken lightly.

It's a question of trust.

Love to you and have a nice day.

 

[Kiama]

Thankyou, Diana. Many times I've been told this, and I believe that what has happened is for the best. However, when a dream like that is just thrown to the wind by someone else, who you don't even know, who has had no effect on your life up until now, the pain is almost unbearable.

Ever since I was 5 I worked towards Cambridge. Everything I did at school, the grades I got, the things I achieved, etc etc, were because I knew it would help me get into Cambridge. I tried my best, and I was all I could possibly be... But it still wasn't enough for some people.

I suppose it's a bit like a magician saying to a kid on the stage, 'Pick a card, any card'... The kid picks a card, but the magician takes it away from him and says, 'Any card but that one.'

I know this is all for the best, and I trust Goddess to take me where I'm supposed to be, but it is still very difficult letting go of the dream I once had. Although now I realise that I wouldn't change what has happened for the world, there will always be some thing in the back of my mind niggling, wondering what would have happened if I had got into Cambridge.

Thankyou for your post though. However, I don't beleve that the Guiding Spirit/Goddess has total control over human lives. We do have some freewill, but then we're getting into a big philosophical debate, so I'll leave it at that.

Anyway, on the subject of the pain and disappointment I am feeling: Pain lets me know I'm still alive.

Thankyou again,

Kiama

 

[Diana]

Kiama, I didn't realise how big the dream had been. I'm really sorry. And I also feel now that I kind of spoke about things I wasn't properly aware of, and I've intruded a bit. Sorry about that rather cliched message.
You're right about our free will - Tarot teaches us that too, as well as all the spells and things.
I send you tons of love.

 

[tarotbear]

Buck up, Kiama! You can always found your OWN college (as previously discussed) with yourself as dean for several lifetimes!

 

[Kiama]

Diana: I didn't mean to sna or anything, and hope I didn't sound like it. Thankyou for your kind wrds: Everyone on the forum has been so supportive, and caring.

Tarotbear: KISSES!

Kiama