Poll: Reasons for Not Contributing

[Barleywine]

Hmmm. Well, one of the reasons I don't post in many threads is simply because the subject doesn't interest me enough to engage me. Or, there have been enough replies that already state something I was going to say.

I don't post in the "your readings" anymore, **unless it is someone reliable asking for help**, simply because I usually don't get any feedback, and I am not going to give of my time and effort for zero discussion afterwards. In fact, I've been removing my posts when I do help, and no feedback is forthcoming. And quite frankly, I am not going to waste my or a moderator's time by constantly having to tell or remind mods that no feedback has been given.

As to your posts, Barleywine, while I usually enjoy reading them (depending on topic matter), frankly, since you stated a while back that you wanted some dialogue on some cards you'd drawn, but then went on to state you had put a great deal of people on ignore, well, I didn't want to then post for nothing, in case I was on your hit list. I didn't see the point. It isn't very inviting to go look at a post, only to be informed by the poster that many people have been put on ignore in regard to the topic at hand, since the poster found their views irritating and/or irrational.

I solved this problem by unfollowing the "News, Views and Opinions" chat forum. My ignore list has gone down to only a couple now. I think most of them came from that area, not Your Readings replies, which I try to read and reply to thoughtfully. I also think there is a "generational disconnect" going on that is largely unsolvable.

 

[Bonny]

Hey Barleysine,

Sorry I haven't read all the posts (case in point)..

The block for me is disinterest in getting into fights with others which invariably happens on threads. It's not worth the energy. How can a debate or set of hurtful projections be remedied on an Internet forum? I don't want to hurt anyone and it exhausts to judge or involve when discussions turn up that get firey... i have had experiences on here of receiving random spiteful reactions and so that dims the preparedness to spontaneously engage...in discussions.
Reading échanges are fine because they stay within predictable principles and format.

 

[Barleywine]

Hey Barleysine,

Sorry I haven't read all the posts (case in point)..

The block for me is disinterest in getting into fights with others which invariably happens on threads. It's not worth the energy. How can a debate or set of hurtful projections be remedied on an Internet forum? I don't want to hurt anyone and it exhausts to judge or involve when discussions turn up that get firey... i have had experiences on here of receiving random spiteful reactions and so that dims the preparedness to spontaneously engage...in discussions.
Reading échanges are fine because they stay within predictable principles and format.

I haven't seen very many full-on "flame wars" here, most people are either courteous or just back away (my style for the most part, and I very rarely feel compelled to use the "ignore" option). But whenever highly opinionated viewpoints come up, toes can get stepped on, sometimes inadvertently.

 

[Barleywine]

I'm really sad to hear that people have had their reading styles trashed by others on this site. I'm also super peeved to hear of contributors to Your Readings getting zero feedback. Please, please contact us (Sulis, Alta, Prudence) if that happens. We do jump on it when we're contacted, as well as when we see it in threads. We try our best to keep it a fair exchange. And we are very sorry when we overlook something that has happened that results in an uneven exchange.

But, no one should be trashing another member's reading methods. That just seems like a major violation of our general forum rule, respect our members. It's also very harsh and not conducive to an open learning environment. Good grief.

I may have fueled this perception with my "systemic" comments about reading style, which were intended to be historical and general rather than personal, with the goal of contrasting the "old ways" and the "new ways" in a manner that would invite contemplation. Seems that, rather than thinking more deeply on the subject, some people just took umbrage or felt threatened. Tarot reading has a much longer lineage than what passes for acceptable style in an almost inevitably impersonal electronic world.

ETA: By the way, I think my overall track record for helpfulness here speaks for itself. To paraphrase the Wizard of Oz to Dorothy "Oh, no my dear, I'm a very good man, I'm just a very bad . . . enabler."

 

[Padma]

Tone is important, Barleywine, and very important in the written missive, where a factual approach can soon look like a patronizing stance, or sound arrogant, and it is easy to be misunderstood.

And tone is incredibly difficult to illustrate or project in an email or post style format.

Hence, emoticons

 

[Bonny]

I haven't seen very many full-on "fire-fights" here, most people are either courteous or just back away (my style for the most part, and I very rarely feel compelled to use the "ignore" option). But whenever highly opinionated viewpoints come up, toes can get stepped on, sometimes inadvertently.

All I can say is that you're lucky barleywine.

Some people PM extremely destructive things that aren't even seen on the threads.

Glad that you haven't seen what I am telling you about. Lucky you!!

 

[gregory]

Was it the de-enabling thread? Yes I remember that one, but honestly, this is supposed to be a forum for discussing the good and bad things about all decks. If someone chooses to publicly release a deck, then they need to be prepared for all the positive and negative comments made about it. I know it should be constructive criticism of course, but it makes for dull reading when everyone has to walk on eggshells.

Unfortunately the mess that is the Pros and Cons thread makes any discussion at all (good or bad) pretty impossible for me now.

It was indeed the de-enabling thread. And to be absolutely fair to artists there was a memorable time when one artist was taking it seriously, and was very upset. (not sure how they could have, as it was also around the time people were saying not to buy the Liber T as it might BREED with something and make more Uncle Als... ) On the other hand there was a wonderful occasion when Julia Cuccia-Watts came in and advised everyone NOT to buy some deck of hers. It was priceless.... I miss it.

It occurs to me that I am slightly surprised by the number of people saying they weren't interested in the topic so didn't post - why open a thread that doesn't interest you ?

 

[Tanga]

...Hmmm - I haven't thoroughly read through all the posts here ...
I have answered the poll.


When I don't contribute it's because:

a) I'm too busy to do so presently - though I might really be dying to (What with having to read through everything first etc. etc.).

b) Everyone else has already covered the answer more than adequately.

c) The topic is too complicated or unknown to me.

d) I'm not interested or am irritated by the topic (e.g. "how does he feel ?..." yada yada )

e) I haven't the energy to repeat myself.
Sometimes I will repeat myself - such is the nature of teaching right? (because I do remember being a newbie - and just being too dumb to look things up - or, walking in "where angels fear to tread" - all-over-a-topic because I was stuck in my own small box of narrower awareness. . Hmmm - not sure I've quite escaped that bit yet - perhaps when I'm dead and have moved onto an expanded plane of existence... ).



I'm aware of the challenge of language barriers - and hope that I do my best to get round these when I recognise someone is wrestling with it (I notice this quite often).
And - I have been in some "fiery" discussions here - and as yet, am not put off by them. Lol.

As Padma underlines - getting the tone and expression across by email can be a minefield - and mis-interpretation may be inevitable at some point (between all the variations in language, culture, style, education, politics, religion/spiritual path and unconscious individual assumptions - all thrown into the pot.).
So - one has to always be on alert when posting really.
(Which of course is impossible. Lol. But there's always trying.).
One can only do ones best - and clean up the mess if it happens to be made.
To err is human.

All I can say is that you're lucky barleywine.

Some people PM extremely destructive things that aren't even seen on the threads.

Glad that you haven't seen what I am telling you about. Lucky you!!

I'm so sorry to hear this Bonny.
I hope you reported it to a moderator if it was out-of-order - and I have experienced exactly what you are talking about, from time-to-time.
I think - I've gotten more practiced at dealing with this smoothly...
(fingers crossed).

Forum technology can help with that: in the left column, the envelope has a black dot if you've posted in that thread, and no dot if you have not posted...

You can also track threads you are interested in by "watching" them...

Huh...Thanks for pointing that out.

It occurs to me that I am slightly surprised by the number of people saying they weren't interested in the topic so didn't post - why open a thread that doesn't interest you ?

Sometimes - you open it out of curiosity or to try something different - or the title attracts you until you discover what it's really about etc...

 

[Bonny]

Thanks Tanga,

Not all the time have I reported it.

Sometimes the shock at the complete inappropriateness has been so strong that I have just cut short any further communication. Healthy Boundaries are a good thing!

Thanks for understanding!!

 

[Barleywine]

It occurs to me that I am slightly surprised by the number of people saying they weren't interested in the topic so didn't post - why open a thread that doesn't interest you ?

Because we're omnivorous trawlers with time on our hands? Sometimes a thread title is alluring but the content or its progress up to that point isn't (although it just as often goes the other way, I think).