Queen of Cups as feelings clarified by 3 of Wands rx

[giftreceipt]

I got this regarding my ex' feelings towards me.

He is a complete stonewall with emotions, he'd compliment me (I'm amazing, beautiful... etc) but never how he felt. I think has issues regarding society's expectations of being a man.
Somebody has taught him to 'man up' too many times.

Always looking out for a better woman. I put my foot down eventually.
We are currently no contact, the ball is in his court.

Now for feelings for me I got the Queen of Cups which is confusing, he clearly doesn't think that highly of me.
So I clarified and got the 3 of wands reversed.

Any ideas would be appreciated!

 

[rwcarter]

Moderator Note

Hi giftreceipt,

Per the UTC Posting Rules, you must provide your own interpretations first before others may post to help you. Aeclectic is a learning forum, and the best way to learn is to try.

Other posters, please hold off until interpretations have been given.

rwcarter, co-Moderator of Using Tarot Cards

 

[Laurelle]

I got this regarding my ex' feelings towards me.

He is a complete stonewall with emotions, he'd compliment me (I'm amazing, beautiful... etc) but never how he felt. I think has issues regarding society's expectations of being a man.
Somebody has taught him to 'man up' too many times.

Always looking out for a better woman. I put my foot down eventually.
We are currently no contact, the ball is in his court.

Now for feelings for me I got the Queen of Cups which is confusing, he clearly doesn't think that highly of me.
So I clarified and got the 3 of wands reversed.

Any ideas would be appreciated!

Well the Queen of Cups makes perfect sense. She's the "beauty" of the tarot courts. So if he was calling you beautiful that was the way you made him feel. He felt that you were beautiful, perfect and ideal.

Queen of Cups is someone who is always dreaming and musing. She's not a card of action. She may expect everyone to do things for her. Perhaps your ex boyfriend expects you to come back to him (3 wrx).

Or he is waiting for that "perfect" woman, his ideal woman and she's not ever going to come because (3 WRx) she doesn't exist except in his mind (QC).

So he feels lost, dreamy, and confused about you. Maybe he's even confused about why you broke up with him. He thought all those ships were ready to go and then suddenly you moored them.

Your his island without docks....and he's a boat floating around wondering where to park.

 

[giftreceipt]

Sorry for no proper interpretations!
Mainly because I am quite stumped.

You see to me the Queen of Cups would be someone you would want to treat right. Because you think she is good caring person. Someone worth keeping in your life.

His actions towards me were all words no action (except in bed). He would never take me out or date me. Every other woman in his life he as treated normally, dates, birthday presents..
However I was his longest relationship and apparently his soul mate.
The final straw was when he asked me to be on hold while he took another girl out. He said he'd get back to me to let me know the outcome and if we could continue.
Laurelle - this fits with him wanting the perfect woman as you say!

I eventually let him know how this makes me feel and I've not heard a thing since.

Three of wands rx is well, I'm hoping shows he feels regret. But he can easily sort that by actually finally communicating with me as honestly as I have with him.

So much pain can be avoided by communicating!

 

[Thirteen]

What if the person doesn't want to return the ball?

Now for feelings for me I got the Queen of Cups which is confusing, he clearly doesn't think that highly of me

Queen/Cups doesn't mean he feels highly about you. Likely it means he feels you're the Queen of emotional. Always emotional, overly emotional, always wanting to "talk about your feelings."

I'm not saying this is true--but it's probably how he feels about you.You see expressions of feeling as communicating. He sees them as really uncomfortable and unpleasant and "girly." Probably illogical--like they don't fix or change anything. And that 3/Wands is not regret. 3/Wands is about sending out your energy to someone. Rx means it's blocked. So, he doesn't want to spend the energy on you (communicate, express feelings, etc.), and he doesn't want any return of energy from you (to hear about your feelings).

In short, these two cards indicate that he not only doesn't know how to lob that ball back to you (appreciate feelings and talk about them),but even if he did know how to lob it back, he wouldn't (3/Wands rx). And why should he bother communicating with you to avoid pain when the only one feeling pain is you?

 

[giftreceipt]

That's interesting because I was the opposite with him.
He wouldn't allow feelings (other women he'd been with were allowed them though), so until my last communication with him I had never told him I loved him.
He has never seen me angry or upset. This was incredibly hard to keep up
as you can imagine!

 

[Thirteen]

This isn't how he's always felt, but how he feels NOW

That's interesting because I was the opposite with him.

You could have been cool as a cucumber with him for the whole of your relationship. You asked about his feelings for you, and you asked what he was feeling AFTER you expressed your feelings to him (finally). So. THAT is what he is feeling right now. It has nothing to do with what you were like during the relationship.

Example: a child loves their dad and thinks dad is the best. But then the kid does something naughty and dad is stern with him and says "no video games for you!" At that moment, if you drew a card asking how the kid felt about his dad, you wouldn't get "Sun + Emperor" meaning the kid still thinks dad is the best in the whole world. You'd get "Devil + 4/Pents"--Dad's a meanie who's taking away the boy's toy and he hates him!

Ask about feelings and you get what the person is feeling. And you may be absolutely right to have said what you said to him in the way you said it and he may know it. And he might later think you were the best in the world and boy, is he sorry. But right now...nope. Right now you're the Queen of emotional/irrational and he'd rather not, thank you.

 

[Grizabella]

deleted. Duh!

I just made my post asking if you use reversals when you originally said one of the cards was reversed. I should pay closer attention.

But why would you even try to keep up the sham elimination of anger or other upset emotions? You're not his exes and if you try to be different than you really are, that's bound to cause trouble even if you do share things in common with the exes. Being who you are, including being able to express those emotions honestly is essential to a good relationship.

The Queen of Cups as how he feels for you clarified by the 3 of Wands reversed looks to me as though it's referring to your putting your foot down about his constant search for other women. He seems to feel you were overly emotional in his estimation (Queen of Cups) to think he was looking for other women when he wasn't (3 Wands rv) and he hasn't given it more thought than that so far.

 

[giftreceipt]

Yes Thirteen, I suspect that is how it is!
I am at a loss as to why he had rules for me but nobody else. the other women would go nuts at him, he'd come running to me to complain how I was never like that, his life is hell... etc

He would never have tolerated such things from me. Even when I told him how I felt I did it calmly, in writing and left it at that.

The other reason I ended it Grizabella was I just couldn't keep on not being completely myself. It was mentally draining watching what I said in case I said something loving.
I told him I felt edited by his rules on emotions.

He wasn't always like this obviously. He was pretty intense for about 6 months, it was wonderful.

 

[Rinoa]

I agree with the interpretations posted here. Queen of cups: You mentioned "putting your foot down." I imagine a Queen is authoritative in the real world. So if you couple that "ultimatum" with the focus areas of the card it makes a lot of sense. He probably thinks you're too sensitive, too emotional, and that you're out of touch with reality. Three of Wands RX: This card upright is about envisioning the future for me. So reversed I'd say it's the opposite in this case. He doesn't think your relationship can go any further than it already has. It would be unlikely that he contact you for reconciliation.

You mentioned having to edit yourself and your behavior during the relationship. I think you did the right thing by cutting it off. Changing yourself out of fear of being unaccepted or unloved is never healthy. Though this isn't exactly tarot related I still want to stress that I think it's important to take the focus off him and put it back where it belongs: on you. Sending you positive vibes your way~