Psychebleu
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Reading Ethics?
Tarotphelia
Basically, I will try not to hurt you, and if things look bad I will try to help you deal with it . That's about the best I can do.
One time , a woman wanted to know what her children thought of her. And I knew that was not going to be good and probably all hell was going to break loose, so I refused to answer that question as being in her best interest if I didn't.
One time , a woman wanted to know what her children thought of her. And I knew that was not going to be good and probably all hell was going to break loose, so I refused to answer that question as being in her best interest if I didn't.
BobTheViking
I remember reading a Buddhist proverb, which I would quote here, but I can't remember the exact phrasing and I doubt I could improve on it. It basically said that you should think carefully before speaking the truth, because it is dangerous and might harm someone. I think there's a lot to be said for that approach. Sometimes people just aren't ready to hear the truth.
On the other hand, sometimes people may be hurt by the truth, and may be angry to hear it, but need to hear it just the same. Like a surgeon's scalpel--a small version of a Sword--the truth cuts away unhealthy illusions. But you need a lot of wisdom and knowledge to be able to know when to speak the truth and when to be silent or gloss over it. I don't feel I'm quite ready to do that. It's one of the reasons I haven't really done readings for other people yet--or at least a handy excuse I can pull out. I'm sure that in part it's just my own timidity about approaching people about Tarot (as well as other things that are important to me, being so different from the norm), but I know some of my limitations all too well. I'm not quite ready to decide for others when to tell hurtful truths and when to keep silent.
However, I really do think that people need to get to the point where they can accept unpleasant truths. To be able to do that is one of my major goals at this point. I want to be able to face the prospect of hard materialist nihilism with the same aplomb and fairness of mind that I approach more pleasant alternatives, to give one example. I'm even starting to get in touch with some of the ways I've deceived myself on as personal level--though I don't think I'd post that on a forum anybody could come in off the internet and read.
Man, I'm about to go off on a serious tangent. Got Plato and Socrates on the brain.
In conclusion, it just takes wisdom to know when to speak and when to be silent.
On the other hand, sometimes people may be hurt by the truth, and may be angry to hear it, but need to hear it just the same. Like a surgeon's scalpel--a small version of a Sword--the truth cuts away unhealthy illusions. But you need a lot of wisdom and knowledge to be able to know when to speak the truth and when to be silent or gloss over it. I don't feel I'm quite ready to do that. It's one of the reasons I haven't really done readings for other people yet--or at least a handy excuse I can pull out. I'm sure that in part it's just my own timidity about approaching people about Tarot (as well as other things that are important to me, being so different from the norm), but I know some of my limitations all too well. I'm not quite ready to decide for others when to tell hurtful truths and when to keep silent.
However, I really do think that people need to get to the point where they can accept unpleasant truths. To be able to do that is one of my major goals at this point. I want to be able to face the prospect of hard materialist nihilism with the same aplomb and fairness of mind that I approach more pleasant alternatives, to give one example. I'm even starting to get in touch with some of the ways I've deceived myself on as personal level--though I don't think I'd post that on a forum anybody could come in off the internet and read.
Man, I'm about to go off on a serious tangent. Got Plato and Socrates on the brain.
In conclusion, it just takes wisdom to know when to speak and when to be silent.
Fulgour
Dayne tseyn zoln zikh tsebeyzern un aropshlingen dem kop!BobTheViking said:
(May your teeth get angry and chew off the rest of your head!)
Sophie
LOL! When in doubt, get out the yiddish cloutFulgour said:
As so often, we can also turn to William Blake:
A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.
Which is not a defense of lying, but of caring & goodwill.
Who am I to decide when someone needs to hear the truth about themselves?
Practically, in a reading, I tread carefully - they have consulted me, therefore want me to speak. But if I feel they are not open, I keep silent, or move as diplomatically as I can. In live readings, I tend to approach any tricky area with a question - and open a dialogue. Of course these are the standards I set myself, and I have not always lived up to them. I know also that in the past I have been able to leap forward thanks to some well-timed truths told to me.
Flidais
Hello Psychebleu,
If you haven't already, you might want to do a Search for "ethics" or other related terms. There have been many discussions pertaining to this. It can easily turn into a controversy with strong beliefs and points of view from one end of the spectrum ("anything goes as long as I mean well") to the other (where I sit).
If you haven't already, you might want to do a Search for "ethics" or other related terms. There have been many discussions pertaining to this. It can easily turn into a controversy with strong beliefs and points of view from one end of the spectrum ("anything goes as long as I mean well") to the other (where I sit).
Psychebleu
Flidais said:
Yeah, I think I will do a search. As for the controversy - that's really too bad. People need to accept that their beliefs and opinions are just that - it will not apply to every individual or situation.
Grizabella
***On the other hand, sometimes people may be hurt by the truth, and may be angry to hear it, but need to hear it just the same.***
***Who am I to decide when someone needs to hear the truth about themselves?***
I'd go a step further than the last quote and say: who am I to decide what the truth IS about another person? Even with the aid of tarot cards, I still don't believe I'm capable of knowing what the absolute truth is about someone else. I feel that that's something only their Creator can know and that they, themselves, can discover with His/Her aid. If I happen to hit on their truth in a tarot reading, it won't be because I've decided it's their truth. It will be because they happen to recognize a truth for themselves. It's only up to me to say what I read in the cards in a non-judgmental way with as much tact, kindness and diplomacy as I can, no matter what my own suspicions and hunches about their truth might be.
I guess that kind of sums up my ethics for the most part. Since it's impossible for anyone to go through life in a vacuum, to refuse to read about anyone else for them isn't very feasible. However, rather than doing a reading for someone whose question is "How does so-and-so feel about me?" or something else that excludes their involvement, I'd steer them to rephrase the question. Maybe asking instead "Why am I having trouble determining how this person feels about me?" or "What is it that I find confusing to me about this person's feelings for me?".
***Who am I to decide when someone needs to hear the truth about themselves?***
I'd go a step further than the last quote and say: who am I to decide what the truth IS about another person? Even with the aid of tarot cards, I still don't believe I'm capable of knowing what the absolute truth is about someone else. I feel that that's something only their Creator can know and that they, themselves, can discover with His/Her aid. If I happen to hit on their truth in a tarot reading, it won't be because I've decided it's their truth. It will be because they happen to recognize a truth for themselves. It's only up to me to say what I read in the cards in a non-judgmental way with as much tact, kindness and diplomacy as I can, no matter what my own suspicions and hunches about their truth might be.
I guess that kind of sums up my ethics for the most part. Since it's impossible for anyone to go through life in a vacuum, to refuse to read about anyone else for them isn't very feasible. However, rather than doing a reading for someone whose question is "How does so-and-so feel about me?" or something else that excludes their involvement, I'd steer them to rephrase the question. Maybe asking instead "Why am I having trouble determining how this person feels about me?" or "What is it that I find confusing to me about this person's feelings for me?".
MercyMe
I've had two very difficult questions asked of me to do readings on lately. One, a very good friend of mine whose husband had a massive heart attack a couple weeks ago, wanted me to ask the cards if he would live another five years. <shudder> If she weren't my closest friend of almost 30 years, I would not have done the reading. I sat with her before I spread the cards and I explained all about, first of all, 'Yes/No" questions and how you may as well flip a coin as consult the cards in many cases. I talked about free will and how the outcome is never set in stone, there are too many variables. Disclaimer after disclaimer came out and I said, "DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" Yes. So we did two Y/N spreads and they both came out almost identical: The answer was that he could very likely die unless he changed his way of thinking about himself and his body and health. Also the Star showed up, a very good omen indeed. The readings confirmed each other and actually were very blunt, realistic and yet...hopeful.
The other day a male friend of mine wanted to know "if the baby is his." *sigh* What is a tarot reader to do? I told him simply that of course only a DNA test can determine that and the cards might be able to give him guidance about how to deal with this in the meantime (baby is not due until next April), but they are no substitute by any means for getting definitive answers. He said he understood and would receive whatever advice the cards give. I hung up the phone and did a quick Y/N spread. Ace of Wands. Magician. Ace of Pents. The two aces I saw easily represented the masculine and feminine energies of procreation...but the Magician is not your typical Magician in this deck (the Hudes). He is more of a scientist, a researcher. He is sitting at a table with notes and maps and globes and he's measuring a sphere with calipers. My initial response to the reading was: Well, it's highly likely that the baby is his, but we need scientific proof. It was one of those readings "that make you go 'DUH!'" Ok, we already KNOW this! (Of course...I considered the other meanings of the Magician and it's possible the woman may be pulling something on him, but honestly...I didn't get that intuitive vibe.) Anyway, I can tell my friend what the cards said, but obviously they didn't give much insight. That's what you get with those kinds of questions, though. Obvious answers. I will try to work up a much better spread for him that might help him deal with the upcoming months of not knowing and waiting, how he might prepare for either/or.
These were good friends. If someone less than a very close friend had asked either of these questions of me, I would have refused to do the reading. I have already established trust and rapport with these two people. I am not one to have hard and fast rules when it comes to human beings and relationships and tarot reader/client is a human relationship. I might do one type of reading for one person and not another based on my own gut feelings about it. If I rely on my intuition for the reading itself, I can rely on it to tell me which questions/querants to read and which ones not to read.
~Mercy
The other day a male friend of mine wanted to know "if the baby is his." *sigh* What is a tarot reader to do? I told him simply that of course only a DNA test can determine that and the cards might be able to give him guidance about how to deal with this in the meantime (baby is not due until next April), but they are no substitute by any means for getting definitive answers. He said he understood and would receive whatever advice the cards give. I hung up the phone and did a quick Y/N spread. Ace of Wands. Magician. Ace of Pents. The two aces I saw easily represented the masculine and feminine energies of procreation...but the Magician is not your typical Magician in this deck (the Hudes). He is more of a scientist, a researcher. He is sitting at a table with notes and maps and globes and he's measuring a sphere with calipers. My initial response to the reading was: Well, it's highly likely that the baby is his, but we need scientific proof. It was one of those readings "that make you go 'DUH!'"
Ok, we already KNOW this! (Of course...I considered the other meanings of the Magician and it's possible the woman may be pulling something on him, but honestly...I didn't get that intuitive vibe.) Anyway, I can tell my friend what the cards said, but obviously they didn't give much insight. That's what you get with those kinds of questions, though. Obvious answers. I will try to work up a much better spread for him that might help him deal with the upcoming months of not knowing and waiting, how he might prepare for either/or.These were good friends. If someone less than a very close friend had asked either of these questions of me, I would have refused to do the reading. I have already established trust and rapport with these two people. I am not one to have hard and fast rules when it comes to human beings and relationships and tarot reader/client is a human relationship. I might do one type of reading for one person and not another based on my own gut feelings about it. If I rely on my intuition for the reading itself, I can rely on it to tell me which questions/querants to read and which ones not to read.
~Mercy
Grizabella
I don't think tarot could tell when person will die any more than a doctor can predict it accurately. I can see how that would be a touchy reading for you.
And I think I might have suggested to the man who doubted that the woman might be having his baby that he ask the cards what it was within himself and his relationship that caused him to wonder whether it was his or not.
These kind of questions are so touchy, aren't they? Very uncomfortable for a reader. I tend to try to steer the questions into an avenue that's more realistic for the tarot to express itself. Otherwise I think it can cause more harm than good.
And I think I might have suggested to the man who doubted that the woman might be having his baby that he ask the cards what it was within himself and his relationship that caused him to wonder whether it was his or not.
These kind of questions are so touchy, aren't they? Very uncomfortable for a reader. I tend to try to steer the questions into an avenue that's more realistic for the tarot to express itself. Otherwise I think it can cause more harm than good.
