Relationship spread for a guy who won't commit

[Pique Dame]

One of my girl friends has been dating a guy on and off for several months, maybe even close to a year now. She likes him a lot and he seems to really like and care about her. They post pictures on Facebook together and they seem really happy, but for some reason he doesn't want to put a label on it. She's very frustrated by this and has tried to end things with him but then he says he misses her, she comes back and the cycle resumes. I saw her recently and she aired out her frustrations about him not calling her his girlfriend. I told her that it's just a title. She said, "But I want the title!" I did a spread called "Are They Ready for a Relationship With You?" and it started out pretty negative but ended on a very positive note. I don't like giving anyone false hope so please tell me if I'm interpreting these correctly. I used my trusty RWS deck with reversals (galore!).

1. What is their relationship in general? 8 of Pents Rx - I saw 8 of Pents upright once as monogamy, so reversed is still monogamy but without actual commitment. He doesn't appear to be seeing anyone else but they aren't exclusive.
2. How does he feel about her? King of Pentacles Rx - Hmm. On the not-too-bad side, he could be feeling insecure or have some sort of self-esteem issue (e.g. "I'm not good enough for her!") or he may feel rather jealous, possibly overly protective of her. On the bad side, he may lack any sort of solid feelings whatsoever. 2 Pentacles cards right off the bat suggest he may be too committed to his job right now to have any room in his life for a girlfriend.
3. What type of relationship does he want with her? Knight of Cups Rx - He's either afraid of commitment and wants to keep things at the level they are, or he's not quite sure himself what he wants, as this knight is very wishy-washy. It may also reinforce the insecurity thing.
4. Why hasn't he started (or rather, made official) a relationship with her yet? Justice Rx - He's overthinking and over analyzing, is unable to make a decision or a move in either direction. He's letting his head rule over his heart. Maybe a bad experience in the past has made him fearful of starting anything new.
5. According to him, what would be the perfect situation to have a relationship with her? Fool Rx - this one is tough in the reversed position. Fool upright is unattached and carefree and ready to start a new adventure. Reversed he is reckless and, well, foolish. I'm thinking either his ideal situation is one in which he is ready to throw all caution to the wind, truly live in the moment without fear of the consequences, and take a leap of faith off that cliff. Or it could mean there is no perfect situation. He's simply not ready. Period.
6. What is he doing in order to prepare for a relationship with her? 7 of Cups - I actually saw this as quite positive. He's considering it. He's contemplating her as his girlfriend, daydreaming about it, possibly playing out different scenarios in his head for how it would go. After 5 fairly negative cards, this is the first ray of hope.
7. Until he's ready for a relationship with her, how will he continue to treat her? Strength Rx - Not sure how to read this as an action. Upright is, obviously, strength and control/restraint. So, cowardice? Letting his fear of commitment win out over his desire to be with her? Or if she's the maiden and he's the lion, then instead of letting her be in control, he continues to call the shots. (P.S. I know some people see this card in reverse as physical or emotional abuse, but that's definitely not what it means here. There's nothing like that going on at all. Thought I should note that before it gets offered up as a suggestion.)
8. What advice should she be given concerning him? Queen of Cups - Compassion, nurturing, understanding and, above all, patience. Instead of giving an ultimatum and demanding he give her a title, just go with the flow and give him time.
9. What can she expect from him in the near future re: his intentions or possible actions taken? Ace of Pentacles - Something real and solid. Either a little gift or bauble, or he's going to offer her a more solid commitment. Aces are seeds that still need to grow, but the potential for a real relationship is there and, if she takes the Queen of Cups' advice, the seed will grow into something more.

So like I said, the first part of the spread was kind of like "Why even bother?" but it ended with a promise of something good. Agree or Disagree?

 

[Metafizzypop]

OK, I'll give this a go. I'll tell you up front though, that my interp is not going to be as optimistic as yours.

1. What is their relationship in general? 8 of Pents Rx

--If the 8 of Pents can (and sometimes does) mean a person who is unemployed, I'd say this card means he is not willing to put the "work" necessary into the relationship.

2. How does he feel about her? King of Pentacles Rx

--The King of Pents is a domestic sort. He likes the comforts of home. But when he's reversed, he's not willing to work very hard to get them. He wants everything to be convenient, including his relationships. This card seems to support the 8 of Pents, too.

3. What type of relationship does he want with her? Knight of Cups Rx

--As you say, afraid of commitment. And maybe also a jerk.

4. Why hasn't he started (or rather, made official) a relationship with her yet? Justice Rx

--Because he's not willing to play fair. He effectively wants a commitment from her, so that she's around whenever he wants her. But he's not willing to give the same back.

5. According to him, what would be the perfect situation to have a relationship with her? Fool Rx

--The Fool right side up is bad enough, but reversed, this card barely needs an interpretation. He is not boyfriend material. As you say, he's simply not ready, period. And he may never be.

6. What is he doing in order to prepare for a relationship with her? 7 of Cups

--Daydreaming, as you say, yes. But daydreaming is not action, and you asked what he was "doing." The answer is "nothing." He's just sitting around on his tushy, dreaming.

7. Until he's ready for a relationship with her, how will he continue to treat her? Strength Rx

--Fear might rule the day with this. Fear of commitment.

8. What advice should she be given concerning him? Queen of Cups

--The Queen of Cups is the Shaman of the tarot. Your friend needs to use her sensitivity and sensibility to weed her way through this situation. She needs to trust her instincts.

9. What can she expect from him in the near future re: his intentions or possible actions taken? Ace of Pentacles

--This is not a romantic card. Also, Aces as you say, are seeds, and this relationship might forever remain exactly that, a seed. An Ace as an outcome card suggests to me that the relationship never gets past the beginning stage. It never moves forward, because this non-boyfriend can't finish what he starts.

I think this woman needs to looks elsewhere if she wants something serious.

 

[Pique Dame]

Thanks for chiming in, Metafizzypop. Sorry to hear your lack of optimism. I was hoping for better news.

1. What is their relationship in general? 8 of Pents Rx

--If the 8 of Pents can (and sometimes does) mean a person who is unemployed, I'd say this card means he is not willing to put the "work" necessary into the relationship.

He's definitely not unemployed. He works long and often late hours. But, I get what you mean about not willing to put in the work. 8 of Pents Rx is the sloppy craftsman.

2. How does he feel about her? King of Pentacles Rx

--The King of Pents is a domestic sort. He likes the comforts of home. But when he's reversed, he's not willing to work very hard to get them. He wants everything to be convenient, including his relationships. This card seems to support the 8 of Pents, too.

Yes, both reversed pents cards are suggesting lack of effort being made. Is that due to stubborn refusal, though, or just reluctance due to fear?

3. What type of relationship does he want with her? Knight of Cups Rx

--As you say, afraid of commitment. And maybe also a jerk.

Aw. I'm hesitant to say he's a jerk but the fear of commitment theme is fairly prominent.

4. Why hasn't he started (or rather, made official) a relationship with her yet? Justice Rx

--Because he's not willing to play fair. He effectively wants a commitment from her, so that she's around whenever he wants her. But he's not willing to give the same back.

I get Justice Rx as lack of fairness. Seems they're on unequal footing.

5. According to him, what would be the perfect situation to have a relationship with her? Fool Rx

--The Fool right side up is bad enough, but reversed, this card barely needs an interpretation. He is not boyfriend material. As you say, he's simply not ready, period. And he may never be.

Why do you say the Fool upright is "bad enough?" I don't see it as a bad card at all. Reversed, yes, he has his negative qualities and isn't a glowing example of a committed person.

6. What is he doing in order to prepare for a relationship with her? 7 of Cups

--Daydreaming, as you say, yes. But daydreaming is not action, and you asked what he was "doing." The answer is "nothing." He's just sitting around on his tushy, dreaming.

But it appears he's at least thinking about it. It's a passive action, but it's still something being done in preparation. (I didn't write the spread, I'm just trying to use it.)

7. Until he's ready for a relationship with her, how will he continue to treat her? Strength Rx

--Fear might rule the day with this. Fear of commitment.

I do agree with fear being the key word but how would you use that to describe someone's treatment of another? (This is a question I find rather difficult to apply to tarot card meanings.)

8. What advice should she be given concerning him? Queen of Cups

--The Queen of Cups is the Shaman of the tarot. Your friend needs to use her sensitivity and sensibility to weed her way through this situation. She needs to trust her instincts.

Had to Google "Shaman." I see this queen as very similar to the Empress: caring, nurturing, motherly, creative, and healing. Your description I probably see more as the HP.

9. What can she expect from him in the near future re: his intentions or possible actions taken? Ace of Pentacles

--This is not a romantic card. Also, Aces as you say, are seeds, and this relationship might forever remain exactly that, a seed. An Ace as an outcome card suggests to me that the relationship never gets past the beginning stage. It never moves forward, because this non-boyfriend can't finish what he starts.

I think this woman needs to looks elsewhere if she wants something serious.

Well, I disagree with the Ace of Pents not being a romantic card. I've had it come up to mean an engagement ring before. The Ace is a small step, but still a step and one in the right direction. If it were reversed, I would think: Nope, nothing grounded, not going anywhere. FWIW, this question was originally worded to be what she can expect from him within the next week, but that seemed like too short of a time frame to me, so I changed it to a more general "in the near future." It's not necessarily the outcome, per se. If this guy is as fearful of commitment as your interpretations suggest, that's probably not a fear that will subside in a week or 2 anyway. But I really feel like this card is a good omen that the potential is there. He does have feelings, but they're still incubating.

 

[Absynthe]

1. What is their relationship in general? 8 of Pents Rx

Eight of pents is usually steadily working towards something. Rx it means they're going nowhere imho. They are not working together on the same goals and so no progress is being made.

2. How does he feel about her? King of Pentacles Rx -

Like he doesn't want to be a permanent fixture in her life. The husband card here Rx is quite telling. He doesn't want a title, a label nor any responsibilities of a fixed position in her life.

3. What type of relationship does he want with her? Knight of Cups Rx

The Knight of cups is one that freely gives his heart. This guy doesn't want to do that. He's offering a very conditional arrangement. He's not offering her a cup nor does he want his filled.

4. Why hasn't he started (or rather, made official) a relationship with her yet? Justice Rx

He doesn't want to do the expected thing here and bring the relationship into balance. He's much more satisfied with it unbalanced and him holding all the Aces while she endlessly waits.

5. According to him, what would be the perfect situation to have a relationship with her? Fool Rx

Or it could mean there is no perfect situation. He's simply not ready. Period. That would be my interpretation, there are no circumstances under which he would be prepared to start something new with her. He's got what he wants and he wants nothing more.

6. What is he doing in order to prepare for a relationship with her? 7 of Cups

Nothing. Anything she reads into his intentions from his actions is her own idea entirely. She knows everything she needs to know by how things are.

7. Until he's ready for a relationship with her, how will he continue to treat her? Strength Rx

He's going to lay low, keep everything smooth sailing and avoid any confrontations or power struggles that would make him exit the situation. He's not going to wrestle with anything, but rather just be relaxed and accepting of how things are.

8. What advice should she be given concerning him? Queen of Cups

She should use her intuition to see the situation as it really is not how she wants it to be. Could also be saying she should seek to fulfil the desires of her heart, even if that means seeking them with someone else.

9. What can she expect from him in the near future re: his intentions or possible actions taken? Ace of Pentacles

More of the same. The foundations of this relationship have been laid. They're not going to change as indicated by the Ace. I rarely see this Ace as a forward movement card, it tends to point to the keystones of the situation instead. It has come up to mean 'foundation' for me so many times I tend to trust that now. If I was going to give it the interpretation you do I'd want to see the three of pents indicating two people actively working on something.

 

[deb99]

One of my girl friends has been dating a guy on and off for several months, maybe even close to a year now. She likes him a lot and he seems to really like and care about her. They post pictures on Facebook together and they seem really happy, but for some reason he doesn't want to put a label on it. She's very frustrated by this and has tried to end things with him but then he says he misses her, she comes back and the cycle resumes. I saw her recently and she aired out her frustrations about him not calling her his girlfriend. I told her that it's just a title. She said, "But I want the title!" I did a spread called "Are They Ready for a Relationship With You?" and it started out pretty negative but ended on a very positive note. I don't like giving anyone false hope so please tell me if I'm interpreting these correctly. I used my trusty RWS deck with reversals (galore!).

1. What is their relationship in general? 8 of Pents Rx - I saw 8 of Pents upright once as monogamy, so reversed is still monogamy but without actual commitment. He doesn't appear to be seeing anyone else but they aren't exclusive.

Not sure about the monogamy party, never heard that, but I do think this card states that he is not willing to put in the effort to make this a commitment. This card often speaks of someone who willing to put in the effort to make something work our he's just focused on material things that he finds to be more important than their relationship. Either way it's not good reversed.

2. How does he feel about her? King of Pentacles Rx - Hmm. On the not-too-bad side, he could be feeling insecure or have some sort of self-esteem issue (e.g. "I'm not good enough for her!") or he may feel rather jealous, possibly overly protective of her. On the bad side, he may lack any sort of solid feelings whatsoever. 2 Pentacles cards right off the bat suggest he may be too committed to his job right now to have any room in his life for a girlfriend.

Upright this man is very successful and set in his ways but if the right woman comes along he will make a place for her in his life and provide for her in all ways, he won't be the most romantic, but he is someone you can count on to be faithful and good to you. It seems to me he does not want to make the space in his life to be that man to her.

3. What type of relationship does he want with her? Knight of Cups Rx - He's either afraid of commitment and wants to keep things at the level they are, or he's not quite sure himself what he wants, as this knight is very wishy-washy. It may also reinforce the insecurity thing.

Knight of cups is often considered the one who cannot commit, yes. I would see the reversal of this as being unwilling to commit and has no intention of doing so or just does not really want to be in love, he may enjoy companionship and dating and all that but not into a loving committed relationship.

4. Why hasn't he started (or rather, made official) a relationship with her yet? Justice Rx - He's overthinking and over analyzing, is unable to make a decision or a move in either direction. He's letting his head rule over his heart. Maybe a bad experience in the past has made him fearful of starting anything new.

Could he be married? If not, then I agree he just is not willing to care about her wants/needs/desires in the situation and is not interested in creating a balanced healthy relationship.

5. According to him, what would be the perfect situation to have a relationship with her? Fool Rx - this one is tough in the reversed position. Fool upright is unattached and carefree and ready to start a new adventure. Reversed he is reckless and, well, foolish. I'm thinking either his ideal situation is one in which he is ready to throw all caution to the wind, truly live in the moment without fear of the consequences, and take a leap of faith off that cliff. Or it could mean there is no perfect situation. He's simply not ready. Period.

Fool reversed is someone who jumps from relationship to relationship once something better crosses their path. He is not done looking, basically. Maybe he wants an open relationship with her and if she'd accept that he'd be happy saying she's his girlfriend?

6. What is he doing in order to prepare for a relationship with her? 7 of Cups - I actually saw this as quite positive. He's considering it. He's contemplating her as his girlfriend, daydreaming about it, possibly playing out different scenarios in his head for how it would go. After 5 fairly negative cards, this is the first ray of hope.

This card to me is about a man who likes to have options and loves temptation. Isn't ready to stop looking.

7. Until he's ready for a relationship with her, how will he continue to treat her? Strength Rx - Not sure how to read this as an action. Upright is, obviously, strength and control/restraint. So, cowardice? Letting his fear of commitment win out over his desire to be with her? Or if she's the maiden and he's the lion, then instead of letting her be in control, he continues to call the shots. (P.S. I know some people see this card in reverse as physical or emotional abuse, but that's definitely not what it means here. There's nothing like that going on at all. Thought I should note that before it gets offered up as a suggestion.)

Strength is a card about a man who respects and adores a woman he cares for, thinks she's beautiful inside and out, he thinks she's strong but in a feminine beautiful way, someone a man would marry. And so reversed to me would say he does not respect her all that much and does not care to try and make her happy. It's all about him.

8. What advice should she be given concerning him? Queen of Cups - Compassion, nurturing, understanding and, above all, patience. Instead of giving an ultimatum and demanding he give her a title, just go with the flow and give him time.

Queen of Cups is the woman with a very sharp intuition and psychic ability. I don't think it's telling her to be more loving toward him when she's already frustrated she's not getting what she wants. This is saying to listen to her intuition and see what she likely already knows needs to happen here and what is likely not going to happen if she does stay.

9. What can she expect from him in the near future re: his intentions or possible actions taken? Ace of Pentacles - Something real and solid. Either a little gift or bauble, or he's going to offer her a more solid commitment. Aces are seeds that still need to grow, but the potential for a real relationship is there and, if she takes the Queen of Cups' advice, the seed will grow into something more.

Because of all the reversals and the negativity of his not wanting to commit, this card is saying yes there is a "possibility" of a stable situation, but that stable situation is likely just what she has now, not going to evolve into much more. He will offer the stability she has now, not the full stability she's hoping for.

So like I said, the first part of the spread was kind of like "Why even bother?" but it ended with a promise of something good. Agree or Disagree?

I don't see the aces as much in the way of a big promise of something, it's the small "chance" there can be something, but things will have to change, she will have to change things to get what she wants. I don't know what that is, but my guess is accept it how it is and be okay with that and enjoy what they have, or walk away and move on or hope he returns after she puts her foot down and demands respect and adoration she wants and deserves, and if he doesn't return then she will know it was the right decision.

Hope that helps. Sorry it wasn't more positive...

 

[deb99]

I just thought of something actually. All those reversals of cards of good potential could possibly mean the potential is there, but he is just not ready yet. You said they have been dating for a few months, but some men are just really really slow moving in relationships sometimes, way slower than us women that's for sure. I guess if it's been almost a year though then may be time to tell him to man up or walk.

 

[Metafizzypop]

Why do you say the Fool upright is "bad enough?" I don't see it as a bad card at all. Reversed, yes, he has his negative qualities and isn't a glowing example of a committed person.

Upright, he isn't a glowing example of a committed person, either. He's someone who likes to go off on his own adventures -- alone.

I do agree with fear being the key word but how would you use that to describe someone's treatment of another? (This is a question I find rather difficult to apply to tarot card meanings.)

On Strength reversed.....Strength upright is about controlling one's basic urges and drives. When it's reversed, one is no longer controlling the urges. They're controlling him. That's why he stays with a woman even though he won't commit. He has urges. And those urges, along with a fear of committing, determine how he treats her.

 

[Pageofswords]

8 of pents rx - king of pents rx - knight of cups rx - justice rx - fool rx - 7 of cups - strength rx - queen of cups - Ace of pent

I am reading this spread in a different way

7 of cups, Queen of cups and Ace of pent

For me, these upward position cards belong to your friend.

They indicate, this Queen is daydreaming, hallucinating and maybe she's not fully honest with herself about this relationship (7 of cups). There is a new beginning on the horizon but not necessarily with this person.

There is an abundance of water ( 7 of cups and Queen of cups) - it indicates, Hedonism and overindulgence.

8ofpents rx - king of pents rx = knight of cups rx - justice rx - fool rx - Strength rx

These are his cards :

The fool is one the most striking cards here and it says, he's not ready for a commitment. Be careful.

 

[Pique Dame]

Eight of pents is usually steadily working towards something. Rx it means they're going nowhere imho. They are not working together on the same goals and so no progress is being made.

Yes, I can see how it can mean that.

Like he doesn't want to be a permanent fixture in her life. The husband card here Rx is quite telling. He doesn't want a title, a label nor any responsibilities of a fixed position in her life.

I've never heard the KP referred to as the husband card before. That's interesting, and the reversal of it kind of makes sense.

The Knight of cups is one that freely gives his heart. This guy doesn't want to do that. He's offering a very conditional arrangement. He's not offering her a cup nor does he want his filled.

Good way to look at it.

He doesn't want to do the expected thing here and bring the relationship into balance. He's much more satisfied with it unbalanced and him holding all the Aces while she endlessly waits.

"Bring it into balance." I see.

Or it could mean there is no perfect situation. He's simply not ready. Period. That would be my interpretation, there are no circumstances under which he would be prepared to start something new with her. He's got what he wants and he wants nothing more.

Bummer.

Nothing. Anything she reads into his intentions from his actions is her own idea entirely. She knows everything she needs to know by how things are.

So you see the 7 cups as merely ideas in her own head, not anything he's doing himself.

He's going to lay low, keep everything smooth sailing and avoid any confrontations or power struggles that would make him exit the situation. He's not going to wrestle with anything, but rather just be relaxed and accepting of how things are.

I hear you on avoiding confrontation. I guess that's a good interp for Strength Rx.

She should use her intuition to see the situation as it really is not how she wants it to be. Could also be saying she should seek to fulfil the desires of her heart, even if that means seeking them with someone else.

Well, according to her, he does make her very happy (aside from him not bestowing the almighty title upon her). She's been going through a helluva time over the past several months with her living situation and she says he's been like the one shining ray of light through it all, the one thing that's going right. So, she's planning on concentrating on just getting through what she's going through right now and, once that resolves in a month or so, reevaluate her situation with him. It doesn't sound like she's deluding herself, but she definitely needs to figure out if what he's offering is enough for her.

More of the same. The foundations of this relationship have been laid. They're not going to change as indicated by the Ace. I rarely see this Ace as a forward movement card, it tends to point to the keystones of the situation instead. It has come up to mean 'foundation' for me so many times I tend to trust that now. If I was going to give it the interpretation you do I'd want to see the three of pents indicating two people actively working on something.

So you don't see the ace as a new beginning? Just more of the same? I usually see an ace as something new or being offered, with the outstretched hand and all.

Not sure about the monogamy party, never heard that, but I do think this card states that he is not willing to put in the effort to make this a commitment. This card often speaks of someone who willing to put in the effort to make something work our he's just focused on material things that he finds to be more important than their relationship. Either way it's not good reversed.

I saw it as monogamy because it's the same task being done repetitively, so I liken it to sleeping with the same person consistently. Pentacles are earthy/physical cards, too. I see what you mean about not willing to put in the work, as was previously mentioned by another ATer.

Upright this man is very successful and set in his ways but if the right woman comes along he will make a place for her in his life and provide for her in all ways, he won't be the most romantic, but he is someone you can count on to be faithful and good to you. It seems to me he does not want to make the space in his life to be that man to her.

K/P's are very set in their ways. I know a man like that. Not romantic in the least but very reliable (which I actually find very romantic the older I get).

Knight of cups is often considered the one who cannot commit, yes. I would see the reversal of this as being unwilling to commit and has no intention of doing so or just does not really want to be in love, he may enjoy companionship and dating and all that but not into a loving committed relationship.

I typically see upright Knight of Cups as the one who does want a commitment and the reversal as the one who doesn't. That's an interesting interp: enjoying dating and companionship but doesn't want a real relationship. My friend and I actually dated a guy like that (same guy and at the same time--it's kind of how we met) and it baffled me that there are people out there who date without wanting a girlfriend. I mean, isn't the point of dating to find a relationship? Just didn't make any sense to me but I guess that's how some people are.

Could he be married? If not, then I agree he just is not willing to care about her wants/needs/desires in the situation and is not interested in creating a balanced healthy relationship.

I'm almost 100% sure he's not married, so that's probably not it. You're probably closer with the healthy and balanced part.

Fool reversed is someone who jumps from relationship to relationship once something better crosses their path. He is not done looking, basically. Maybe he wants an open relationship with her and if she'd accept that he'd be happy saying she's his girlfriend?

Hmm. I don't know about the open relationship thing. For all intents and purposes, they are a couple that does everything a normal couple does. He just won't make it official.

This card to me is about a man who likes to have options and loves temptation. Isn't ready to stop looking.

Yes, I've heard the word "temptation" to describe this card before. To me, Devil is more of a temptation card but
I can kind of see it here. (I love the suit of cups but the 7 is my least favorite of all the cups cards.)

Strength is a card about a man who respects and adores a woman he cares for, thinks she's beautiful inside and out, he thinks she's strong but in a feminine beautiful way, someone a man would marry. And so reversed to me would say he does not respect her all that much and does not care to try and make her happy. It's all about him.

He seems to respect and care about her quite a bit, from what I've seen. Maybe he's not willing to give her the girlfriend title but he doesn't seem completely self-serving, really.

Queen of Cups is the woman with a very sharp intuition and psychic ability. I don't think it's telling her to be more loving toward him when she's already frustrated she's not getting what she wants. This is saying to listen to her intuition and see what she likely already knows needs to happen here and what is likely not going to happen if she does stay.

Well, she did walk away once or twice and he courted her back. So, they keep ending up back together but the one issue remains. I guess I saw this card as a manifestation of that old adage "You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." Kindness is better than force.

Because of all the reversals and the negativity of his not wanting to commit, this card is saying yes there is a "possibility" of a stable situation, but that stable situation is likely just what she has now, not going to evolve into much more. He will offer the stability she has now, not the full stability she's hoping for.

Since the "outcome" position is extremely short-term, it could mean something stable like it is now but that it has a lot of potential to grow, couldn't it?

I don't see the aces as much in the way of a big promise of something, it's the small "chance" there can be something, but things will have to change, she will have to change things to get what she wants. I don't know what that is, but my guess is accept it how it is and be okay with that and enjoy what they have, or walk away and move on or hope he returns after she puts her foot down and demands respect and adoration she wants and deserves, and if he doesn't return then she will know it was the right decision.

Well, like I said, she's enjoying what they have now because she's had a lot on her plate for the past several months so she's just trying to make it through that before she has to make a decision with this guy. And she did put her foot down already and split from him but he begged her to take him back, which she did yet nothing changed. It's a very mixed message he's sending her, IMO.

I just thought of something actually. All those reversals of cards of good potential could possibly mean the potential is there, but he is just not ready yet. You said they have been dating for a few months, but some men are just really really slow moving in relationships sometimes, way slower than us women that's for sure. I guess if it's been almost a year though then may be time to tell him to man up or walk.

You know, this is a very good point. Most people automatically see the most negative attributes of a card in reversals but sometimes it's simply a blockage, reversal of flow, a lesser degree of the energy, or simply a delay. You're right: some people do move very slowly. There is no set time frame of where things "should" stand in X months or years and having such a time table in your head can be very destructive to a relationship if the other person moves at a much different pace. These reversed cards a trying to upright themselves so the energy is there. Something is just keeping it from manifesting fully. Thank you for that perspective.

Upright, he isn't a glowing example of a committed person, either. He's someone who likes to go off on his own adventures -- alone.

Fool is unattached and free, yes. I just never saw him as a bad person, I guess.

On Strength reversed.....Strength upright is about controlling one's basic urges and drives. When it's reversed, one is no longer controlling the urges. They're controlling him. That's why he stays with a woman even though he won't commit. He has urges. And those urges, along with a fear of committing, determine how he treats her.

Wasn't Strength referred to as Lust in older decks? I guess you're reading it as that but as pure animal instincts without any concept of the other person's needs.

7 of cups, Queen of cups and Ace of pent

For me, these upward position cards belong to your friend.

They indicate, this Queen is daydreaming, hallucinating and maybe she's not fully honest with herself about this relationship (7 of cups). There is a new beginning on the horizon but not necessarily with this person.

Hmm. 7 of Cups indicate hallucinating to you? I would think an upright Queen is intuitive and not the kind of woman who deceives herself.

There is an abundance of water ( 7 of cups and Queen of cups) - it indicates, Hedonism and overindulgence.

I've never seen water as hedonistic or overindulgent, but I'm a water sign so I will always jump to its defense.

8ofpents rx - king of pents rx = knight of cups rx - justice rx - fool rx - Strength rx

These are his cards :

The fool is one the most striking cards here and it says, he's not ready for a commitment. Be careful.

Well, yes, the Fool is off on his own journey without a wife or kids back home. I saw the Ace and the end as potential for growth and stability. He may not be ready for commitment, yet. But it doesn't mean he never will be.

 

[Pageofswords]

Yes, I can see how it can mean that.


I've never seen water as hedonistic or overindulgent, but I'm a water sign so I will always jump to its defense.

Water element in itself isn't hedonistic or overindulgent - agree but here we are talking about a situation where Queen of cups is in the middle and the flanking cards are 7 of cups and ace of pents.

7 of cups (Water) - Qoc (water) - AoP (earth)

Well, yes, the Fool is off on his own journey without a wife or kids back home. I saw the Ace and the end as potential for growth and stability. He may not be ready for commitment, yet. But it doesn't mean he never will be.

Nothing is set in stone in life, things are changing every moment. I wish her luck