Stopping a Tarot addiction (serious question)...ruined my life

[PAMUYA]

You need help, not because of tarot, but because you want someone to tell you what to do instead of making your own decisions. Perhaps therapy is in order. I am serious, you have a compulsion that needs to be addressed with a professional. Coming here is like a drug addict asking for help from the drug cartel, except we have the tarot cards, the very thing that got you in trouble.. Please get help.

 

[Holly doll]

Please help. In the past 8 months I have ruined my life by spending £1660 on tarot readings, quitting a great job based on a tarot prediction that didn't come to pass (you'll meet a guy if you leave your job in November) and basically ended up broken-hearted by letting someone reject and treat me appallingly, who I would have rejected first ages ago if the readings hadn't portrayed a good future between us. The very first reading I got done, the King of Swords (my love interest) + 9 of cups came out in the final outcome of the CC spread and the reader said I was going to have a wonderful experience with him, it's going to be a wish come true. From then on I was hooked- the many readings I got done after that kept showing a possible future between us, which I fully believed because the past and present were freakishly accurate in every reading. In reality this guy actually mistreated me all year (which showed up in the cards, but the future was implying he'd realise the error of his ways and change) but now has finally broken my heart officially by rejecting me outright. Now the tarot shows 'no future between us, move on' but I'm still finding it so hard to accept just because of the 9 of cups next to his Court card in the very first reading!?

The problem is I still love the Tarot and believe in it, even though my relationship with it has ruined my life (I know it's not the cards fault, it's mine). I have installed website blockers for online readings, sold my decks and vowed myself not to get another professional reading or go anywhere near the Tarot again- unless something happens in real life that shows me that the past 8 months weren't a mistake, or the prediction really does come true later on!? (extremely unlikely).

Has anyone gone thru something similar or has any advice they could give me to quell my emotional urges? Its only been 6 hours and I already miss it! I know this isn't healthy or good for me in anyway. I think I definitely need to quit Tarot and I have told myself that if it's meant to be (Tarot being in my life) then something will happen that will change the way I'm feeling right now, like something will happen that will give me a strong enough reason to go back to Tarot, if it's meant to be?

x

Congratulations on recognising you have an issue around having many predictive readings - you've made a major breakthrough! Many of the tips here are great. My two cents worth is - don't spend anymore money on readings & put your brain to work on in depth study of the tarot... Maybe start at the very beginning with the majors - start with the Fool as you are starting a new journey; journaling as you go - your feelings around the card, the first thing you notice - whether it's a colour or texture etc. When you get to the court cards try not to see them as people; so rather than seeing the King of Swords as a love interest let the card qualities speak - such as spending some time in quiet contemplation or meditation before making decisions, the Queen of Pents. as taking the time to enjoy the sensual side of life - such as a long, candlelit bath, or nice meal or manicure etc.

Although in the past you may have seen the wide range of meanings within the cards; your dependency on them regarding a subject could've seen that range pushed far into the background or diminished - don't run away from them - see them differently...

 

[theboomz]

You need help, not because of tarot, but because you want someone to tell you what to do instead of making your own decisions. Perhaps therapy is in order. I am serious, you have a compulsion that needs to be addressed with a professional. Coming here is like a drug addict asking for help from the drug cartel, except we have the tarot cards, the very thing that got you in trouble.. Please get help.

You said it wasn't because of Tarot, then you said it was.
She might need therapy, but this board is very healthy and can straighten out her misconceptions of Tarot. There isn't anything around this joint that supports having other people make decisions for you, or not taking control of yourself, and there's nothing about Tarot that promotes that either.

 

[Padma]

Not sure what I can add to what has already been excellently said, above.

However, I think you need to understand a fact about tarot - it is a self-work tool, a mirror, a reflection of your thoughts at the time you read.

It would be really fatalistic to do things just because some reader told you the cards said to! And I echo Boomz's question - how the heck could a reader have seen such a thing! I would love to see the lay-out of cards that made her feel she could advise you to leave your job for some guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have never, ever seen such a thing in the cards, and I have been reading for 30 years.

I agree with the Boomz and Holly Doll and Danieljuk, especially - this forum is a good tool for learning how to use (not abuse!) the cards, and how to do readings that benefit you in a positive way (reading exchanges). It might really help you understand the cards far better.

While I do enjoy predictive reading, FOR FUN, never once have I made a decision based on it. This would just go completely against the theory of free will. My life is as I make it...and not as some reader makes it. Or cards.

I like to let my destiny, my life, my intuition, and my choices rule me, and not some - mysterious force, or some other person's opinion. Insight is good, but the predictive nature of these things can only be a "best guess at this time, providing nothing at all changes" and is never written in stone...

Please, be welcome here; please, be at peace...put it in perspective...and as others have said, please, love and believe in yourself, in your own power to understand your life, and in your absolute power to make correct decisions for yourself.

Oh yeah - and leave the loser guy behind!

ETA and the 9 of Cups can often mean, "be really careful what you wish for - are you really sure you want this.....?" So I don't see it as any guarantee of future happiness.

 

[Padma]

deleted by me sorry if my post caused problems, Alta.

 

[Holly doll]

ETA and the 9 of Cups can often mean, "be really careful what you wish for - are you really sure you want this.....?" So I don't see it as any guarantee of future happiness.

Exactly right!!! The King of Swords can also mean "have a really long think about whether this is what you want - choose wisely"

 

[Padma]

Exactly right!!! The King of Swords can also mean "have a really long think about whether this is what you want - choose wisely"

Yes...well-said, Holly...! also, the King of Swords is hardly a kind and charitable fellow! He can be quite...self-involved...and a little cold, aloof. Not what I would think of as a super-compassionate fellow...

 

[theboomz]

Um....Pamuya is entitled to add her views, the Boomz... it is a public forum, after all. Um. ETA. But of course, you are also entitled to disagree, ahaha!

Exactly...

I didn't know how else to phrase that, I'm on straight forward mode. I don't think this is a drug cartel forum. My opinion.

 

[nisaba]

Do you love Tarot, or do you love getting readings? They are two completely different things.

A lot of people love getting readings because it makes them feel as if they are helpless, they are not responsible for much of the bad stuff in their lives (including being $1660 down because of getting too many readings - imagine what you could do with that money!). It makes them feel as if the person across the table really, really cares in a world where many people might not seem to care. And some people get it into their heads that readings make things change, so if they go to enough readers and one of them tells them what they want to hear, then maybe that thing might come to pass.

Readings do not make things happen. They merely show you what is happening. TV footage on the news doesn't make that political speech or that riot happen - it just shows you what is happening. And readings only show you what is happening right now, plus possibilities for the future, and the best (and worst) ways to deal with those possibilities.

If you love Tarot, that is a whole different thing. The feel of the deck in your hands. The smell. The soothing nature of shuffling. The colour, the artwork, the history, the science, the personalities of the characters in the cards and of the creator of the deck, the idea that you can fit a whole 78 different works of art into your back-pocket (most people couldn't fit 78 works of art on the walls of their houses), the myriad ways that a few Tarot cards can link together to make different stories.

Yes, Tarot is worth loving. But having readings, that's not worth loving. You only do that at a crisis-point, and having done it, you then go and act on the advice in the reading and wait for the situation to change before having another reading.

 

[Alta]

Moderator note:

Just a comment. Unless someone is actively flaming or being rude, and I see none of that here, please refrain from telling another poster that they cannot express contrary views. This is a public, well fairly open membership, discussion forum. Completely opposite views may be expressed and this may in fact be very helpful to the thread starter for perspective.

Alta
Moderator