LovelyMissAries , each planet has positive effects. I'm a Scorpio sun, so I do recognise what Pluto brings with it. I went deeper into some practices I used to practice when I was a child as Pluto approaches my Ascendant. I am literally reinventing myself (however, not that I'm just out of Saturn over my Sun transit, that Pluto is squaring himsxelf in the 8th and Uranus is opposing this same natal Pluto in the 8th, so the whole picture is more than one planet). I'm changing in Scorpionic areas which are quite personal and am not going to share publicly but instead of astrological books, I'd recommend mythology for better understanding of the outers, specifically.
Why people groan about Pluto specifically? Because people, in their vast majority, are the only species on this planet which refuses to accept the simple fact that eternity does not exist as they want it to. Only energy is eternal. People are the only species who are trying to avoid endings, clinge to people and things, play the smart guy and go out of their way to not let go while the only way to be free is to let go. Ultimatively. This is Pluto (or Hades, or any other underworld god you take from those I've studied). It's all about change with capital C. Because change is what makes this Universe exist. If it stops changing even for a second, we'll be all gone, with all our stuff. All species on Earth understand it intuitively, we don't want to because we think we're too smart for that. Then comes Pluto. It's the same as when people ask a card reading and start popping eyes when the see a death card. It's like they don't know death exists. But it does and doesn't care if they will pop their eyes or not. Simple.
However, they do miss the point about birth. I'll venture to say that to me, when I look at a Solar Return, a pregnancy can be indicated by Pluto + other planets, not on his own, but I've found him more than once signifying the *rebirth*. Because as energy is all about change, it doesn\t just disappear and what ends, must be restarted, the energy must go somewhere. This is again about the circle of life and so on.
I also want to note that, to me, no planet can cause via transit what is not in the natal chart. Therefore, you should look at your natal to define your strengths and weaknesses in relationships. A transiting planet can only emphasize what is given (or taken) at birth. IMHO, of course.
Minderwiz, I do take Pluto as Scorpio ruler due to my background in phylology which included extensive study of mythology + ethnology. Death - 8th - Hades (Pluto). 8th is still house of death, we haven't yet accepted the blah-blah about transformation and living forever, yes? Taxes? Thinks of underworld, they have good tax system. Leave everything at the door, we'll take the rest of you.
Other people's resources? Yes, especially when they didn't have access to their own anymore. Zombies, vampires, demons inhabiting living bodies...
I come from the god, not from the astrological understanding of the planet. I, as a Scorpio myself, do not recognize Mars as good enough ruler for our sign. I do see him clearly in every Aries I know (or person with strong Aries presence in the chart), not in Scorpios (and I know many and have been studying *us* for many eyars as I wanted to trace some things and find out if there were similarities). Mars is too open, you know? If Mars goes against, it's obvious, when Mars goes to war it's with drums and crowds throwing flowers at his feet, he's Caesar, Napoleon, grandoman, he's the Charioteer in Tarot with the laurel wreath on his head. Scorpio is not like this, this is just an example, a short one. I am by no means making anyone believe in Pluto as a Scorpio ruler but I, as a Scorpio, find Hades/Pluto and other underworld gods in mythology far more fitting us than Mars.
There is too much hidden, deeper and secretive in Scorpio for Mars. Too much patience for Mars. Too much observation and last but not least, I will never see Martian people undoing themselves the way Scorpios do. Martian people will fight to death but won't choose to end themselves even if the defeat is clear. Martian people won the II World War. So, it's good we have Martian people, very good. But we are not exactly like them.
I do find Pluto useful in many areas indeed. I also appreciate the power and endurance (not the Saturnian perseverance and patience) he grants, not for free though. And the phylosophy of the whole underworld mythology is fascinating to me (and for many fellow Scorpios I've explained it to). May be because I was born near where Orpheus was born or because it's a land of magic and old legends which were not gentle, changed, adapted or politically correct but were truer.
I lost a family member when Pluto was on my natal Sun but only after transiting Sun conjunct my natal Pluto.