Was the reading I got ethical?

[lightrailcoyote]

I bought a reading online from someone at Etsy that came recommended to me, and he sent me my reading as a pdf.

I was going through it yesterday and mostly thinking "yep, yep, got that right."

But then a few pages in he started talking about me having a "generational curse." He did not offer to remove it in exchange for money or anything like that. He just said that the curse is why my life has been so difficult and that if I want to improve things I need to make myself more open to the words of my female ancestors and also be prepared to carry messages between my ancestors and my living relatives.

I was pretty rattled by the reading, given that the stuff that I can verify checked out.

I have never seen a curse appear in a reading that I have done for anyone, so I haven't had to make the call whether or not to tell someone I saw that. And I can't decide whether or not I think it's ethically sound to tell someone they are cursed.

I mostly think it's not that ethical, but I can see someone making the argument that a client deserves to know everything a reader sees, and the reader is just trying to better inform the client how to improve their life.

Do you think it's good ethics to tell someone they are cursed?

Have you ever had to deal with a similar situation?

 

[Grizabella]

The only context I've seen this happen in is when it's a scam. He may not have asked you for money---- yet! So I'd just discount the reading and not let him do further readings for you. The scammers suck you in, they don't always pounce all at once. Just discount it and move on but if he contacts you any more, just don't answer.

I've never seen a curse in the cards, ever! In my opinion the only power a curse has lies in the head of the one thinking they've had one put on them. I don't believe they actually exist otherwise.

Above all, don't respond to any further contact from him. That's my heartfelt advice.

Also, stop and just rationally take an estimation of how much of the information he gave you would be applicable to the general population. Ask yourself how likely those things could be true for a lot of people in general. If your family never mentioned a curse to you, then there isn't one.

Next he'd probably offer to mediate between you and the spirit world to get supposed messages from your dead relatives and then it would involve certain things you must do to break the curse and that would cost more money. Warn your friend, too, who recommended him.

 

[alluria]

I completely agree with the previous post... The cards are meant to clarify and show truth. Curses are only manifested in those who believe in them. Know you are blessed.

 

[Hooked on TdM]

I'll third everything said by the previous posters. Go with your gut.

 

[Apollonia]

In my training and belief system (shamanic and hoodoo) such things as generational curses definitely exist, and their effects are not dependent on whether or not the cursed person believes in curses. However, I personally would never bring this up in a reading unless the querent brought it up first. People usually know when they are cursed.

If he doesn't hit you up for more money, I would say he is ethical and just told you what he saw in the cards, especially if the other things he told you rang true and were specific to you and your situation, rather than just general, like, "You are often sure of yourself yet sometimes insecure."

He hasn't really given you a reason not to trust him. He might just have a different set of ethics than others. I know that on this forum, some readers feel that certain ways of reading are unethical, whereas others do not feel that way at all. Ethics are not hard and fast, and if he had an upbringing, training and/or experience in a system that allows for curses to exist, he may have just been giving you a fair heads up on what he truly saw, and some practical ways to improve things. As long as he isn't using it to scare you into spending more money, in my book that is a good, ethical reading.

Does the part about the curse ring true at all? You should know whether or not that feels likely.

 

[Citrin]

and that if I want to improve things I need to make myself more open to the words of my female ancestors and also be prepared to carry messages between my ancestors and my living relatives.

Wow... I would feel really uncomfortable if I'd receive a reading saying that! Honestly I feel he should've held back a little seeing that is a BIG thing to put on someone's shoulders. In my opinion... But also; if that is what he saw in the cards then yeah, honesty is also important... But I don't know, that gave me goosebumps, in a bad way... I have to agree with Grizabella. I really don't know if a even believe in "curses".

PM me if you want the name of a really great reader on etsy. (No not me lol just someone who gave me a really empowering reading once)

 

[linnie]

I think there are a few aspects to this question. The guy may not be a scammer, and may only have felt it was his duty to speak as the cards spoke to him. Perhaps, though, his 'dialect' is what troubles you. If he'd worded it in terms of generational baggage, or of familial behaviour patterns not conducive to one's wellbeing, as opposed to bringing out the fear-inciting "curse" word, you may have considered his words more carefully?

I wouldn't like to be told that I was cursed, myself, to be sure, but, if I paid for a reading, I would prefer to be given as much information as possible. To me, ineffectual readings that promise only happiness and fluff engender more ire.

So, a reader treads a fairly shaky path, yes? And, as mentioned above, for some people, curses do exist and can create disharmony, at best, and complete imbalance at worst. If he really saw that, he would not easily sit with himself had he not shared it, huh? And you did say that the verifiable stuff checked out, yes? A dilemma.

Perhaps his style of coming right out and saying smething unpalatable is viewed as unethical here? To me, speaking untruths for money is unethical, but sharing truths never is. It may just be that there really is an issue within you that stems back to your mum, or great grandmother, that needn't be a curse, as such, but an inability to be true to Self, to walk your talk, to nurture your being... Perhaps that is all,that he is referring to, but couldn't find the words... Can I give you an example? My mother had breast cancer. My sister had breast cancer. I've had breast cancer. I feared for my daughters' well being, but I have come to believe that, for me, and my mother, and most likely my sister, it was more about Self-empowerment than about genetics. Some would argue, and it may be different for them, but in my family, learning to love and honour Self has been the greatest Medicine available. My mother lived for another 40 years after her 'aggressive' cancer, and its been 17 years since my diagnosis. My life is so filled with joy since I had to rethink things after I was diagnosed, that I feel every day is a blessing, and I do stop to smell the roses, and I did a weird look in the mirror and tell myself "I love you" and really mean it, and I do love myself, and I let myself know joy... Joyfullness is not the right environment for cancer to grow in I hope that by showing mymyoung ones, by example, how to truly enjoy life, this "curse" will have met its match...

Sorry for the rave, but maybe the reader was picking up on some family issue (not necessarily anything like cancer) that it may serve you well to learn about... And in sharing that information with you, he's offered you a gift?.. that's all...

 

[Grizabella]

What cards would you even read as meaning a "generational curse"?

And what kind of tweaked with me was the fact he said you'd be having to carry messages from ancestors in the spirit would to your living relatives. To me, it just sounds like a couple of ways to keep you coming back to him for help both with the curse and the information from the ancestors.

I get it that some people do believe in curses. And that in cultures where people believe in them, they may actually work. But it's quite odd that someone you don't know would give you that information on a first sitting, sight unseen, having never read for you before and knowing nothing about you and just sling that at your feet to deal with. He absolutely has to know that you're going to be rattled and ask him for more information----and that's what I think the motive is. To try to suck you back in to buy more readings. I just can't really understand an honest reader who would do that without being more sensitive to his sitter.

ETA: I just googled "generational curse" and it brought back tons of links to religious sites. Here's a link:

generational curse

 

[Citrin]

linnie:
Just because some of us feel that his wording/reading was unethical does not mean that we think all tarot readings should be pink and fluffy. Readings can be dark and reflect the dark sides of life, absolutely, but knowing how to tell "bad things" to the client is a challenge and something that needs to be discussed. Throwing out scary things just because "the cards are saying this, not my fault!" is dangerous, in my opinion.

Honestly, I don't see the connection between a curse and "generational baggage". In my family all the women have been obsessed with being skinny. My mother talked down to me since I was 5 years old, saying I need to diet and be thinner, just like her mom did to her. Is this a curse? No, it's bad behaviour without realising you are hurting someone... A curse comes from the outside, someone/something evil getting inside of your soul, and something that isn't there because of lack of knowing better, it's there to hurt.

If the reader really wanted to say that there is generational baggage that is what the reader should have said. Scaring someone because of not finding a better word/phrase is a lousy excuse in my book.

 

[Strenght]

The only context I've seen this happen in is when it's a scam. He may not have asked you for money---- yet! So I'd just discount the reading and not let him do further readings for you. The scammers suck you in, they don't always pounce all at once. Just discount it and move on but if he contacts you any more, just don't answer.

I've never seen a curse in the cards, ever! In my opinion the only power a curse has lies in the head of the one thinking they've had one put on them. I don't believe they actually exist otherwise.

Above all, don't respond to any further contact from him. That's my heartfelt advice.

Also, stop and just rationally take an estimation of how much of the information he gave you would be applicable to the general population. Ask yourself how likely those things could be true for a lot of people in general. If your family never mentioned a curse to you, then there isn't one.

Next he'd probably offer to mediate between you and the spirit world to get supposed messages from your dead relatives and then it would involve certain things you must do to break the curse and that would cost more money. Warn your friend, too, who recommended him.

Spot on Grizabella!!

Tarot readings are supposed to offer guidance to the querent, not scare them.

I do not believe in curses.

The only 'generational curses' I can think of are the bad behavioral models or pattern that parents pass on to their children. Children observe their parents and repeat their mistakes. You don't want to end up your Mom, but when you are 45 and look in the mirror, you ARE your Mom. You behave like her and look like her. That is generational curse for you. LOL

That pertains to psychology and physiology and is nothing supernatural. But I can appreciate there are many views out there and this is mine.

So your reading was not ethical in my book.