When sitters fail to listen...

[214red]

I did a reading the other day for someone, i didnt know her. I explained about the reading, and asked her what area's of her life she wanted clarification on etc.
We go through an hours reading, with various questions and clarifications being asked. It started with being about her current broken relationship and moved on to other areas of her life, however her relationship cycles were affecting all of her life, including her professional life.

At the end of a particularly draining reading, she says she is glad that i was straight with her, that i didnt beat around the bush, and i recomended seeing a counsellor (she is already in therapy).

Right at the end of the reading, she asks one final question, "is he thinking about me..."

So why bother with the reading, it highlighted serious issues, and yet all you really want to know, is if he is thinking of you, and will come back to you.

Why do sitters waste their money?

She had enough information in the reading to start working out what she can start by doing, how it would improve her life, how her relationship was damaging her......but she ignores it all.

Now I shouldnt complain, I got paid for it.

I felt sorry for her, i walked away betting she wasnt going to really do anything, and she wont have the kids she hopes to have, or the happy marriage she hopes for, her career will suffer because of her relationships. She doesnt earn alot of money, so the reading would have been a luxury, but she isnt going to make the most out of it.

 

[yirabeth]

I don't know...perhaps you're wrong that she won't take advantage of the insights you both discussed in the reading. It is kind of natural to wonder even if you know it's wrong/harmful..I know with my ex-boyfriend, I wondered even though I knew the breakup was for the best -- and after he'd contacted me to give me a dressing-down for something I'd posted and he'd told me point blank leaving me was the best thing he'd ever done for himself! lol Perhaps pointing out that what she asked was a continuation of the sort of thing you'd discussed would have been helpful, and pointing out maybe when she hits really down points she should go to a friend (or her counsellor) and talk it out rather than sliding back into the behaviors prior to her realization that what she was doing was harmful to herself...

~Yira

 

[starrystarrynight]

I agree with Yira...I think many sitters will ask everything they can think of during the reading, but it is afterward, when they are able to go to their quiet place and rehash things, that they will think about what was said and take in what they need to take in from the reading. Sometimes, that takes a long time, too...I've had clients come back literally years after a reading to say things like, "I never gave it a second thought until it actually happened exactly as you said it would...!"

 

[Sulis]

I think that sometimes it just takes a while for stuff to sink in and if the reading was an hour long and covered a lot of ground then the lady probably has a lot to think about and it will take time for her to fully grasp all that's been said.
She probably wanted to ask 'Is he thinking of me?' from the get go and so finished with that question; it doesn't mean that she's ignored the other messages.

I think you're being a bit unfair to automatically judge that she hasn't taken any of it in and has wasted her money because she asked that question when she showed earlier in the reading that she really did appreciate what you'd been saying to her.
Going for a reading is a big deal to a lot of people and she'll probably think about what you've said a lot when she gets home and really has time to go through the reading and her thoughts about it.

 

[Sinduction]

It has been my experience that there is nothing we can do. Sometimes people just aren't at the right place mentally or emotionally to let go.

This is the hardest thing for me about being a reader. I send them love as they go as I know they are in a bad place. Some of them come out of it and some don't. I try to remember that I don't know what path they are on and this might be part of their growth.

Myself, I went through 8 years with a guy that was destroying my soul. I was able to heal, but it was difficult and painful. It wasn't until I met my current SO that I realized why I had to go through that. It was for my own good, for my growth.

I have faith that it all has meaning. There is a reason for all of it. That's what gets me through the day and my lost clients.

 

[Wendywu]

I know doctors often find that a patient presents with one set of symptoms, and just as they are sidling out of the door they raise the thing they really want to talk about..... this most frequently occurs with men who need to discuss what they consider a personal health matter....

Maybe your sitter fell into that category - she knew full well that her question mattered to her, but only managed to find the courage to ask it at the end of the reading?

 

[Apollonia]

Listening and understanding and even intending to heed your advice are very different from being ready to emotionally let go. A broken heart has questions that are urgent and often childlike and repetitive, that are very different from the questions coming from our rational side.

In my view, at the end of this incredibly emotional reading, her heart came through with its question. Doesn't mean she didn't listen, or that she won't go home and work with the good information you gave her. But the heart must have its say.

 

[gregory]

She listened to what you said, she thanked you and she asked another question that was on her mind at the end. What is your problem here ? You have no way to know whether or not she took on board everything else you said, and whether she will act upon it - but it sounds from your post as though she did. And anyway - with most sitters, you will never know whether they do.

And whether he is thinking of her - she may not even have MEANT it in the way you are assuming she did. I think this is a judgemental issue. As you say - you were paid. So she gets to call the shots. It wasn't an unreasonable question, either. Just something she wanted to know.

Did you answer her ?

 

[tarotcardrose]

I had this same scenario happen last week with a querent. She had just broken off a terrible , abusive relationship. She admitted that she doesn't want him back and has clearly moved on. At the last of the reading she asked the same thing, "Is he still thinking of me". You could tell she was a little embarrassed asking after she had been over him.

So, I said, "Let's see".

I asked the cards, and they said he did still think about her, and thought if he is done playing the field in a few months he may call her again.

I told her and she laughed and said, "You are 100% right ,he is so cocky and thinks I am here waiting , he probably does think that." So, we had a laugh and then I quietly told her I am asking one very last question for her.

And I asked the cards, why, if she is moved on and over him, and knows how bad he is, does she still want him to think of her. The cards told me, that she has some emotional abandonment from her father and feels guilty about things.

So, I told her what I did, and what I saw in the cards .And she started to cry and said,"You are totally accurate. My dad left us, and I had a big fight with him that night, I was only 17. He never returned. She said, now when I leave a man even if it is for the better , I feel immense guilt."

After coming to that conclusion, she said, I feel 1000% percent better now, and don't even care if he calls.
;
Sometimes you have to dig deeper with clients, and you have to listen and assist as much as you can.

It is equivalent to a doctor who tells you stop eating chips because your cholesterol is up. But we still keep eating!

 

[JSNYC]

People only hear what they are ready to hear. We can only say what needs to be said, hearing it is the seeker's responsibility.