When the DIFU is strong...

[Alissa]

Oh this is totally true...I can feel what it does to my physically, Alissa...not a good thing.

terri

As a form, it seeks to maintain shape, and to grow... like most forms in our universe.

It cannot take in power except from the Creator... which for a thought form is the Thinker. Us. It cannot gain power from any other source, only from us who created It.

So It begins to do so, and as It grows It becomes larger. In our heads. In our thoughts and emotions.

It vibrates at a low level frequency and seeks to bring us to that frequency from which It was created. Low frequency emotions are Rage, Hate, Anger, and Fear. To maintain shape, It seeks to create these emotions to sustain Itself on. Therefore we are in the grip of depression, anger, futility, hopelessness when a low level thought form is trying to control the physical vehicle of the host.

High level frequency emotions are Love, Joy, Charity and Beatitude. To be these, to experience these emotions is to raise your own vibrational signature to a higher level, and thus make yourself "toxic" to the negative thought form.

...I should stop before I type until the baby wakes, but just a few ideas.


...I am sure that you've learned to gain your power back terri, and won that fight. For that I stand up and applaud you!

 

[Major Tom]

The DIFU, as a thought form, *is* created by us though, so it is something of us. But It is not the real us.

I thought you were talking about thought forms. The problem with thought forms is they take as much effort to 'tame' or 'kill' as they took to create and we're creating thought forms constantly.

 

[swimming in tarot]

Alissa, thank you for your insight. I won't go on at length, I'll just say that I concur with what you've written (and it's been a long journey to get here!!!).

I found tarot helpful in putting names to ideas: Eight of Swords, Nine of Swords, Ten of Swords, Tower and Four of Swords came up a lot when I was going through learning about the "wrong programming" and its maledictions, and about loss of identity and journeying to the shadow's realm to retrieve my real identity. It wasn't until after I'd been through it all that I came to Understand what the cards meant, why they'd kept coming up, and why they stopped coming up . But the consistency of meaning and the cards showing up at a meaningful time makes me trust tarot, and I want to know, at least intellectually, what lies beyond the other of the 78 doors whose corridors I don't yet know.

(Just to keep tarot in the topic, lest the mods move the thread to a restricted access forum, which would be a real shame! )

 

[tmgrl2]

...I am sure that you've learned to gain your power back terri, and won that fight. For that I stand up and applaud you!

Interesting that you said that, Alissa.

This morning I was on my way to the cemetery...such a beautiful morning in spring.

I have a mantra. I'm going to sail my vessel till the river Runs dry....on comes the Garth Brooks song, The River. Exact lines from the song...I don't remember ever hearing the song, but perhaps I did at some time. I just bought his Ultimate Hits and it was on the first run-through in my car.

so..I played it over and over to learn the lyrics..belting it out as I drove to the cemetery.

Felt quite empowered about life..about my surgery, about the positive outcomes for both hips being repaired, about being able to walk again for simple tasks...good stuff.

No DIFU this morning.

terri

Here are the lyrics:

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin' as it flows
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores...and

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide...yes

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

There's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll take some falls
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all...yes

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

Yes, I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
'Til the river runs dry


Works for me!! Keeps that DIFU in its place.

 

[moderndayruth]

I needed this thread badly, thanks for starting it Sheri and, Umbrae, thanks for being the inspiration behind it!
They say *love thy neighbour*... But its usually far easier to love "thy neighbour" than to at least bear oneself... My DIFU comes up against me as a slave driver... and i usually let it bellitle and humiliate me... And *it* is saying me i am a failure in just about anything...("you know its all fake" the voice says)... I can't come up with the link now, but i read like two years ago about most of the really great pro's in any field being totally insecure deep inside about what they do and being scared to death they'll be uncovered... Well, i gathered courage and spoke to some people i know well, who are great in what they do - and they told me exactly the same thing - they felt they were cheating and that one day someone will come out there and make everyone else see what frauds they were... My Dr. Godmother feels she is personally guilty for every patient that dies in the hospital (one of our best diagnosticians and endlessly caring and devoted humanitarian); another close friend, oficially expert No.1 in her field - finds her (objectively best possible) feasibility studies - irrelevant, a friend who is an advisor to someone vip and was promoted to that position for his skills and knowledge and not through connections - thinks he has nothing substantial to advice... etc.
(I am not advocating stupid self-boasting which in my experience is a *quality* of people who don't have a clue how much they DON"T know, but if at least we could give ourselves a break from DIFU... at least occasionally. )

 

[Lewen]

I needed to read this thread too...not only in the tarot department (reading for others lately) but also in the job department (no one's going to hire you, you've been out of the workforce for the past 16 years....)

Well no more!!! I won't listen to that voice (yet it's that inner voice that is the hardest on me.) I have some things to think about and changes to be made. Thank you for this thread.

 

[Cat*]

I'm another one who needed/needs this thread right now. Thank you for starting it, Sheri, and thank you for everyone else who was brave enough to post about their demons/DIFUs.

I see my thought processes about my academic "achievements" perfectly mirrored in what MDR said. Many people have told me I've been writing/speaking great and necessary stuff. I'm continually taken for someone who already has that friggin' MA degree and at the very least is/should be working on a PhD and/or teaching in an official position. What's more, every single tarot reading that has ever been done (in the exchanges up here, spread out over at least half a year) about my MA thesis-supposed-to-be-in-progress has been terribly positive and hinting not-so-subtly at my eventual success. But all I can see is pointlessness, irrelevance, boredom with everything I used to be passionate about, and my extreme lack of knowledge (and even more extreme lack of experience) in other areas of life. I'm horribly afraid that this final thesis will be the paper that makes everyone realize I'm nothing but a huge fraud who has cheated her way all through university. At the same time, I'm just as horribly afraid I might actually be successful and "earn" myself a spectacular degree with minimal work (because, to be honest, I've procrastinated so much that by now I don't have the time for anything but "minimal work") - because that would only make me more of a freak, too "gifted," too different from too many other people to ever have any real friends.

(Oh, and let's just not get into the "nobody will ever hire you for any sort of qualified job AND pay you decent money for it - not at your age, not with your lack of an appropriate employment history, not with that personality, etc.", okay? )

Compared to that, I can live just fine with scary-"accurate" tarot readings (one of which happened just yesterday). But it's a lot easier writing those off as chance successes... Haha, look how funny it is that I actually saw all that! (But don't go thinking I have any talent as a tarot reader. It's just my above-average ability to come up with all sorts of wild associations in record time whenever stimulated with some ink on cardboard. I'm probably just cold-reading without even realizing that's what I do. )

So, how does one learn to stop being afraid of being successful/exceptionally good/better at something than other people without having done the required work? How do I bind and gag that particular demon? (For some reason, the Fey Tarot's Strength card just popped into my head - should I maybe go and ask that deck? That deck of all my decks that so far has always been impossible to read for myself while being very talkative when I was reading for others?)

At any rate, I'd love to hear what worked for you in your own fights against your demons/DIFUs, if only temporarily. I think I'm (once again) sick and tired of never even finding out where my actual limits are - let alone ever getting close to them in what I do.

Thanks for listening to me sorting out my messed-up head. I'll shut up now. Please excuse me if I got too far off-topic.

 

[Elnor]

At any rate, I'd love to hear what worked for you in your own fights against your demons/DIFUs, if only temporarily. I think I'm (once again) sick and tired of never even finding out where my actual limits are - let alone ever getting close to them in what I do.

I have often used my cards when in the middle of a bad struggle with my own personal demon... and although it is only temporary, they can help to pull me through a bad patch. Even if I just ask what can I do just right NOW- short term solution, HELP!! the cards have always been spot-on.

For instance... earlier today I did a spread using the Hoi Polloi, and asked what card could I focus on for help the next time I find myself being overwhelmed by the demon, and I got the Emperor. I don't really get on with that card, so thought I try again, (this time with the RWS) and got the King of Swords.

I then decided to get out my Tarot journal and looked back through it to last summer, and a previous spread I had written up where I was dealing with the same problem.

Lo and behold- "What card will help me through a bad phase?" - King of Swords!

My cards are consistantly telling me I need to be strong- fight back, and be quite firm and logical with my confrontations... I know full well I am not as useless, hopeless, talentless, lazy, loveless or pathetic as my demon is always telling me that I am, and they patiently reassure me over and over that I AM strong enough to win this battle. It might only be a little thing as far as encouragement goes, but it does help me to get through it.

elnor

 

[Morwenna]

I needed to see this thread too (and here, since I'm not a subscriber--yet), and thank you for bringing out the technique of asking the cards what to do in an immediate practical sense when confronted by the demon! That's what AT is here for, yes? helping each other in using Tarot.

This thread shows we all are confronted by these demons, as if the bookstores' shelves covered with self-help books designed to counter the demons weren't enough of a clue!

Blessed be, everyone.

 

[Aoife]

The language of battle seems much-employed in this thread. It set me to thinking about the 'renegade soldier within'.

The hurts [and for some, abuse] experienced as powerless children can cause us to to equip an inner-soldier and task him to defend our vulnerable places. And he probably won many battles on our behalf...

But for some of us, the idea of having something inside that has the ability to kill [metaphorically] is deeply disturbing... worse still, that we 'made' him. It can feel 'safer' to split that part away, to believe that he's not of our making, he's separate to us, he's invaded and victimised us [aka the inner demon].

The inner-soldier can be no different from real soldiers....
Society feels under threat... soldiers are despatched to defend our boundaries and defeat the enemy. Soldiers get wounded... their battle-scars are ugly... their behaviour fuelled by PTSD frightens us. They're changed by what they've experienced and find it hard to return to civilian life. Some turn renegade. We want them to go away.

I've never had any direct contact with veteran soldiers [other than the inner one] but what I hear is their hurt and anger that their sacrifice is not properly honoured. And a big part of the reason for that is our shame... we misjudged the threat, sent him out all guns firing and people got hurt. It wasn't a justifiable war.

I need my inner-soldier. I'm older and less powerless now, and he's taught he a lot, but still I need him to guard my boundaries, repel those who attack me. I need him to be well trained, both in the skills of warfare and peace-keeping. Every so often I need to honour him, recognise his work and the price he pays for keeping me safe. Because its the right thing to do and if I don't he could turn renegade.

I'm not suggesting I've got this taped... I haven't. My relationship with him will never be easy and sometimes my strategy is poor and he and others get hurt. So its the post-mortem stage where my DIFU nobbles me.