Should I or Shouldn't I?

[christinab253]

I have been thinking of booking myself on a spiritual break which would involve ayahuasca ceremonies. Ayahuasca is illegal in my country but not in the one I would travel to if taken for spiritual purposes. From what I understand of it, the herb can help open you up spiritually but also bring painful truths into your consciousness and help you accept and work through these and overcome the ego.

I have been wondering about affordability. Although I can easily afford the break on its own, I also have other things possibly in the pipeline which could be costly. I have also had concerns (although unlikely) that involvement in an illegal activity could impact upon me negatively.

I have therefore been hesitating over whether or not to go. So I thought I would ask the cards and would appreciate input from other readers. Do you think I should go?

Spread Used: Between Two Options Spread
Deck: Gilded

OPTION 1 - Going on the Break

1) Nature of the first option / what querent feels about it - Hanged Man.
I took this to mean that the experience could help me to let go of the past and come to acceptance. I may also change my perspective. However, I am also in suspense and limbo about it due to my procrastination.

3) Negative aspects / consequences / drawbacks - Hierophant.
The activity may be frowned upon by conformists. Problems with the authorities?

5) Rewards / positive aspects - Judgment
Finally letting go and dropping the baggage. Rebirth, rejuvenation, renewal. A sought after breakthrough and wake up call.

OPTION 2 - Not Going

2) Nature of the second option / what querent feels about it - 10 Cups
Feeling the perhaps the first option may be too good to be true?

4) Negative aspects / consequences / drawbacks - 6 Wands
The ego remains.

6) Rewards / positive aspects - Empress
The most confusing card of the spread for me. Could it mean that, even if I don't go, I am still full of power and creativity.

ADVICE - 3 CARDS

7) 6 Pentacles
I should be generous and give to myself as well as being receptive and open to accepting my generosity to self.

8) Page Cups
Follow the heart and trust inner guidance. Open up to inner child and open up emotionally and to new friendships. Live life to the full and be open to novel experiences.

9) Queen Swords
Be open to the (painful) truth. Cut out the pain and protect that which is pure and offers growth.

 

[bluelagune]

In option 1 there are some legal concequences in this. Not against the law type but more of your friends and neighbours or priests crusifying you for doing this. Social suicide?

Option 2 is good only because something else is about to sprout. Not sure what you getting but it's something brand new and about to hatch.

The advice: Sober up! (Queen of swords)

 

[christinab253]

In option 1 there are some legal concequences in this. Not against the law type but more of your friends and neighbours or priests crusifying you for doing this. Social suicide?

Option 2 is good only because something else is about to sprout. Not sure what you getting but it's something brand new and about to hatch.

The advice: Sober up! (Queen of swords)

Thanks Bluelagune for your thoughts.

You have certainly given me ideas surrounding option 2 and the empress which hadn't occurred to me. I think there are a lot of changes coming my way both professionally and personally. So perhaps now is not the time to be doing this and I should be focussing on those things instead.

I am not sure I can agree with your interpretation of the hierophant though. I wasn't intending to tell people exactly what I have been considering doing - just that it is a meditation retreat which is close enough to the truth. Even so, if friends and family were aware, I think they would be curious and probably raise some eyebrows, but not cut me off because of it. I am not religious and don't know any priests.

In terms of the advice cards, do you have any thoughts on the other two?

 

[headincloud]

Hanged man is one of the most spiritual cards in the pack and very fitting for a retreat with others of like mind. He heralds a completely different perspective, a breakthrough spiritually and attaining enlightenment as a result of the ceremony. Others are unlikely to understand where you're coming from under the hanged man.

Negative aspects and drawbacks are all rooted in conformity and organised religion, you may have been conditioned.

Judgement is the result of enlightenment as you wipe the slate clean in light of your new and higher understanding on return. The decision to live less selfishly, although I'm not suggesting you're a selfish person. You will likely make many changes under these cards, it's as if you're judging former views around religion and turning them on their head, there are some pretty radical changes in this combo of cards.

Not going - 10C indicates joy and a happy situation even if you didn't go, the ego remains as you said but I still feel you'd have a victory over enlightenment over a much longer period through self love in the empress who also seems to be pointing at the physical aspect of taking a drug as a negative.

Advice seems to say you're getting what you deserve out of this experience which will put you in new emotional territory in the page, new feelings being birthed from the queen who I'm assuming must be you.

Advice may also read a new sense of service and generosity coming to the fore in the 6P, new emotions as the queen has a tendency to like her own space and do her own thing, perhaps that's the growth.

 

[christinab253]

Hanged man is one of the most spiritual cards in the pack and very fitting for a retreat with others of like mind. He heralds a completely different perspective, a breakthrough spiritually and attaining enlightenment as a result of the ceremony. Others are unlikely to understand where you're coming from under the hanged man.

Negative aspects and drawbacks are all rooted in conformity and organised religion, you may have been conditioned.

Judgement is the result of enlightenment as you wipe the slate clean in light of your new and higher understanding on return. The decision to live less selfishly, although I'm not suggesting you're a selfish person. You will likely make many changes under these cards, it's as if you're judging former views around religion and turning them on their head, there are some pretty radical changes in this combo of cards.

Not going - 10C indicates joy and a happy situation even if you didn't go, the ego remains as you said but I still feel you'd have a victory over enlightenment over a much longer period through self love in the empress who also seems to be pointing at the physical aspect of taking a drug as a negative.

Advice seems to say you're getting what you deserve out of this experience which will put you in new emotional territory in the page, new feelings being birthed from the queen who I'm assuming must be you.

Advice may also read a new sense of service and generosity coming to the fore in the 6P, new emotions as the queen has a tendency to like her own space and do her own thing, perhaps that's the growth.

Wow! I really love your interpretation. I think you have hit the nail on the head.

I am sure I have been conditioned - we all have. Although I am not religious and perhaps not conditioned in that sense, I can see that I would have been in other areas including beliefs about myself. I welcome the opportunity to strip that away even though it is supposedly a negative aspect... Could I be getting more than I would have bargained for?

I don't know why it didn't occur to me before that the QOS represents me but it seems so obvious now. And the POC being new emotional territory is also very fitting as I am undergoing a period of spiritual awakening, letting go of the past as best as I can, letting go of the ego and desires as best as I can and trying to be present in the now. I am sure that this will continue whether or not I go on the retreat.

Also, I am starting to think that, if I do go, that doesn't mean that the Option 2 cards (which look so positive!) won't also apply to me - it is not mutually exclusive from the first option. I can continue what I have been doing before and after the break and still work on self love irrespective of whether I go. I have been drawing the Empress quite a lot recently and I think it is starting to make sense.

Thank you so much.

 

[bluelagune]

Thanks Bluelagune for your thoughts.

You have certainly given me ideas surrounding option 2 and the empress which hadn't occurred to me. I think there are a lot of changes coming my way both professionally and personally. So perhaps now is not the time to be doing this and I should be focussing on those things instead.

I am not sure I can agree with your interpretation of the hierophant though. I wasn't intending to tell people exactly what I have been considering doing - just that it is a meditation retreat which is close enough to the truth. Even so, if friends and family were aware, I think they would be curious and probably raise some eyebrows, but not cut me off because of it. I am not religious and don't know any priests.

In terms of the advice cards, do you have any thoughts on the other two?

6 of pentacles is the "need" card. Maybe do this when you really need it.
Page of cups is being intuitive and looking for information with your heart.