Understanding how does she really feel for me?

[Miradeck]

Dear all,

I’ve been fumbling with a relationship that has gone stagnant and trying to ascertain what the other party is feeling about me, i.e. are there romantic feelings or it is purely friendship etc. I tried the following “How she feels about me” spread and would really like to hear some feedback and sharing of perspective into this situation. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated! Thanks.

2
*
1*4*5*6
*
3

Summary of spread:
1. What she’s telling me – King of Swords
2. What she’s really thinking – The High Priestess
3. How she feels about me deep down – Knight of Cups
4. How she’s walking her talk – Queen of Pentacles
5. Outside influences on her walk – The Sun
6. How she will be walking her talk within 6-8 weeks – King of Pentacles

My interpretations:
1. King of Swords - She feels that she needs to be rational and not let her heart rule her head. She is worried of rash decisions and wants to use logic to rein herself in and therefore not make any moves that are telling of her emotions.
2. The High Priestess - She thinks there is some connection between us that is difficult to pin down or describe and that there could be an element of guidance coming by hanging out with me.
3. Knight of Cups - There is some romantic feelings developing in the background (Cups) but it’s not a mature feeling (Knight) as yet. So she is taking her time to feel and decide what she really feels for me and what she wants to do next.
4. Queen of Pents - She is evaluating the situation and contemplating the potential of a relationship with me.
5. The Sun - There are many positive vibes coming from me that is encouraging her to start something new with me.
6. King of Pents – The King is sitting on the throne and usually doesn’t make any moves. Pents being the slow moving earth material tells me that even if there is any action, it will be very very slow. So I assess it as she is not going to make any move and instead will wait for me to approach her.

Am I reading this correctly or are there alternative suggestions? Any feedback from the group please? Thanks.

 

[Thirteen]

All look good to me except the HPS. What she's really thinking is that she wants ALONE time to examine her feelings and figure out what she really wants to do. That "alone time" is very much key to the HPS, as it is to the Hermit. The difference is that the HPS wants alone time to follow her intuition to the right answer. Meanwhile the Hermit wants alone time so he can shine his own light on the facts and find the right answer.

So, she what she's really thinking is that, for the moment, she wants/needs to be very much alone, not with anyone at all. You included.

 

[Miradeck]

Thanks Thirteen can you explain how did you arrive at the suggestion that HPS refers to her wanting time alone? Is it due to some card combinations? The reason why I'm clarifying is because I've read in many places that HPS symbolises connection, psychic awareness etc but not exactly time alone. It also seems that HPS is a card that indicates secrecy, hence does it mean the other cards will then not reveal her next actions?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Saskia]

I'm not Thirteen but I'd think her view about HP wanting to be alone is about this:

the HP trusts her intuition fully. You can't listen to your intuition, if there are any distractions and hassle around. Complete silence is required (or at least a semi-meditative state or "cocoon" to be able to focus on the inner world instead of the outer), hence the "alone" interpretation. She might be trying to ascertain whether or not going for you would be a good idea and feel right.

The Knight of Cups does indicate positive, perhaps even romantic feelings, but it may also be a connection you share about appreciating arts and culture, for example.

The Queen and King of Pentacles make me think of a somewhat traditional, well-off couple, the "picket fences, the dog and the kids" type. With the HP it makes me think that she's trying to figure if that's something she'd want in the future or not. So, she might be trying to understand are you the one offering that vision, or are you the one "taking it away".

 

[Miradeck]

Thanks Saskia for your perceptive analysis.

She might be trying to ascertain whether or not going for you would be a good idea and feel right.

I kind of have this feeling as well that's why I thought she probably felt some kind of connection between us.

The Queen and King of Pentacles make me think of a somewhat traditional, well-off couple, the "picket fences, the dog and the kids" type. With the HP it makes me think that she's trying to figure if that's something she'd want in the future or not. So, she might be trying to understand are you the one offering that vision, or are you the one "taking it away".

I think you've got this part very well thought out and I also believe she is probably evaluating along those lines.

Now the question is, should I leave her alone to her own thoughts? We have not gotten to the stage where we are totally open with our emotions hence I wonder if it's a good idea for her to be evaluating all these ideas on her own when technically none of us expressed romantic feelings to each other.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[mitsuraki]

Here's what I've got from the spread itself:
How she feels about you:

1. What she’s telling me – King of Swords: I agree with what you have for this card. The swords are a suit that deals mostly with the mind and intellect. The King of Swords could be seen as the penultimate manifestation of this suit, which means, to me, what she's telling you is that right now she needs to think about things. She has to do what's best for her, and she needs to figure out what that is. This may take time.

2. What she’s really thinking – The High Priestess: The High Priestess does have a logical side to go with the mastery of spirit and such that she emphasizes. To me, HP is the overall ruler of spiritual law, making her very logical and, on bad days, judgmental. The reason I say this is because both Justice and Judgement reduce to 2, the number of HP. She knows the spiritual law (Justice) and decides who's breaking it and their punishment (Judgement). For me, this means at this point she really is thinking about logic and what is best for her, whether it's a relationship with you or not. Just like any judge, HP needs time to deliberate, and, much like with a court case, that may be alone in the judge's chambers or as a member of the jury (meaning other friends). On the flip-side, HP can also mean a platonic love and an inability to commit to others (whether romantically or platonic). I think this may be where Thirteen sees the need to be alone, like the Hermit. If someone doesn't create ties with people, or doesn't keep them strong, they end end up alone. Plus, as a spiritual leader HP can't spend 24/7 with their congregation. That would be exhausting. I would say she definitely needs alone time to figure things out.

3. How she feels about me deep down – Knight of Cups: I agree with what you have here, though. There MAY be some feelings currently developing, but they're not strong enough for her to know what kind of feelings they are. Whatever kind they are, they're just arriving, so she does need time to figure them out. It's also a card of self-control, so it may also be possible that she's so used to controlling herself that the illogical desires of emotions may be causing inner turmoil.

4. How she’s walking her talk – Queen of Pentacles: She's talking the talk of being certain of what she wants right now. If she's telling you she needs alone time, leave her alone. Not everyone who says "Leave me alone" truly desires someone to bother them. Give her the space she asks for, if she's asking for it. She knows herself better than anyone else, which may tie into the self-control thing and inner turmoil, which is why she needs to be alone.

5. Outside influences on her walk – The Sun: I do agree that there are positive vibes for a relationship coming from you and tapping her on the shoulder. However, the Sun is not always a card about romantic love. It can also mean an outstanding friendship, the kind you could never bear to live without. It also means harmony and happiness. It may just be that she sees you as like...a platonic soulmate, or the friendship you have may be so important to her that she doesn't want to risk getting into a relationship without really weighing all of the factors. On the other hand, the Sun can definitely be a positive sign for a relationship, so it may just be that you need to be patient. Think of it this way: Your presence is like...the sun shining on her face after escaping a dark room. Depending on how long she's been in that dark room, she may either embrace you fully as a lover and risk losing that sunshine, or she may keep you at arm's length (romantically) so that you can continue to brighten up her life without risking such a painful loss.

6. How she will be walking her talk within 6-8 weeks – King of Pentacles. Remember that Tarot is a cyclical journey. Much like the Major Arcana is one cycle, some view each suit of the Minor Arcana the same way. The King of Pentacles in this position, a direct continuation of the 4th position, tells me that this is a transformation as opposed to just a change in attitude. Much like the King of Swords, the King of Pentacles is the penultimate card of the Pentacles. This is a suit about the human body (unlike swords which is the mind). Earth CAN be slow moving, but a falling rock gains momentum quickly, and an earthquake spreads pretty darn fast if it's strong enough (which, as a King...probably pretty strong). At this point, she knows EXACTLY what she wants. Whether or not she'll wait for you to make a move is more dependent on her personality than on this card, though it certainly is possible. The King of Pentacles points towards physical and material worth and practicality. At this point, not only will she be mentally logical, she'll also be physically practical. She'll understand her heart well enough to know what to do and will most likely have a good plan to get it all in motion. Do be careful, though, as a rolling stone gathers no moss. If she does end up waiting for you and you take too long, she's going to keep moving on romantically.

To answer your most recent question:

Now the question is, should I leave her alone to her own thoughts? We have not gotten to the stage where we are totally open with our emotions hence I wonder if it's a good idea for her to be evaluating all these ideas on her own when technically none of us expressed romantic feelings to each other.

Yes, I would say leave her alone about the romance stuff for a while. Also keep in mind that, with the connection the HP has with the spiritual world, she likely has access to things such as empathy and prophecy and such others. Just because you haven't told this person how you feel doesn't mean she doesn't know. Especially if you're currently influencing her like the sun (which is basically a smack in the face lol). Now, if the Star had come up there, you would probably have been keeping it rather under wraps. But it's impossible to hide from the Sun unless you're underground or in a windowless building. This doesn't mean you should like...completely vanish from her life, though! Still hang out and spend time when she asks, talk to her as normal, etc. Just...keep any romantic chatter to a minimum if possible. Now, if she brings it up, don't hide from it, of course.

I hope at least some of this helps!

 

[Miradeck]

Thanks Mitsuraki - you have shed some really good light on a few of the card interpretations and I appreciate your detailed explanation. It helps me learn how I should associate those cards in the future. I also have some queries in response to your observations so would appreciate some additional clarification.

The swords are a suit that deals mostly with the mind and intellect. The King of Swords could be seen as the penultimate manifestation of this suit

Can I infer that you're referring to the minor arcana cycle, i.e. Wands, Cups, Swords, & lastly Pentacles? And therefore if I map it to all the cards in the spread, it refers to thoughts before action (i.e. Queen & King of Pentacles). And it being King of Swords, it could mean she's in the last stages of the thought process?

2.The High Priestess does have a logical side to go with the mastery of spirit and such that she emphasizes. For me, this means at this point she really is thinking about logic and what is best for her. On the flip-side, HP can also mean a platonic love and an inability to commit to others (whether romantically or platonic). If someone doesn't create ties with people, or doesn't keep them strong, they end end up alone.

This is interesting as I had an earlier spread on her which she sees Knight of Wands as "desires" of the rs, which kind of mean a non-committed short but fun fling. Does this then mean fundamentally she is someone non-committal? I wonder what's driving this non-commitment or what can I do to convince for a commitment?

3.How she feels about me deep down – Knight of Cups: It's also a card of self-control, so it may also be possible that she's so used to controlling herself that the illogical desires of emotions may be causing inner turmoil.

Very interesting take - I'd never have come to the conclusion that KoC is a self control card but judging from her behaviour, it is a show of self control of not showing her emotions and I originally thought that was displayed through King of Swords.

4.How she’s walking her talk – Queen of Pentacles: She's talking the talk of being certain of what she wants right now. If she's telling you she needs alone time, leave her alone.

Actually, both of us never came close to openly admitting our emotions. Perhaps an amount of flirting on her end and an amount of deep caring attitude coming from me, that's about it. I guessed she wants to be left alone after her sudden clam shell behaviour & the cards seem to indicate that. So I will leave it.

5.Outside influences on her walk – The Sun: Think of it this way: Your presence is like...the sun shining on her face after escaping a dark room. Depending on how long she's been in that dark room, she may either embrace you fully as a lover and risk losing that sunshine, or she may keep you at arm's length (romantically) so that you can continue to brighten up her life without risking such a painful loss.

I like your narration of the sun and dark room. I suppose there is a lot at stake given we are working in the same company so there is a good possibility that she opts to remain as friends in order to avoid any potential awkwardness in the future.

6.The King of Pentacles in this position, a direct continuation of the 4th position, tells me that this is a transformation as opposed to just a change in attitude.

Do you mean Pentacles being the 4th and last in the suit of minor arcana and therefore leading to a transformation next stage? Sorry but I'm not sure I understood this correctly, would you be able to elaborate further?

Much like the King of Swords, the King of Pentacles is the penultimate card of the Pentacles. This is a suit about the human body (unlike swords which is the mind). Earth CAN be slow moving, but a falling rock gains momentum quickly, and an earthquake spreads pretty darn fast if it's strong enough (which, as a King...probably pretty strong). At this point, she knows EXACTLY what she wants. Whether or not she'll wait for you to make a move is more dependent on her personality than on this card, though it certainly is possible. The King of Pentacles points towards physical and material worth and practicality. At this point, not only will she be mentally logical, she'll also be physically practical. She'll understand her heart well enough to know what to do and will most likely have a good plan to get it all in motion. Do be careful, though, as a rolling stone gathers no moss. If she does end up waiting for you and you take too long, she's going to keep moving on romantically.

So what we're saying here is that she will reach an answer within herself by then and take necessary actions, be it active or passive. I'm of 2 minds on this. While I think she prefers initiative, I also think there is enough initiative shown and passivity on her end for the last couple of months so if she ultimately decides what she wants, she should take an action. But again, I'm speculating logically, not intuitively.

Also keep in mind that, with the connection the HP has with the spiritual world, she likely has access to things such as empathy and prophecy and such others. Now, if the Star had come up there, you would probably have been keeping it rather under wraps.

She came across as being intuitive so maybe you're right, she might have sensed something through my caring attitude towards her. Other than that, I show no romantic feelings or chatter in that manner. So I will just keep it in this manner and take things as they come.

Thank you for your interpretations! It's very very helpful! I'll share the progress when I see one



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[mitsuraki]

Thanks Mitsuraki - you have shed some really good light on a few of the card interpretations and I appreciate your detailed explanation. It helps me learn how I should associate those cards in the future. I also have some queries in response to your observations so would appreciate some additional clarification.

That’s why I love this forum! To be honest, even a couple of the associations I made while responding to your reading were new ones for me that just…clicked!

Can I infer that you're referring to the minor arcana cycle, i.e. Wands, Cups, Swords, & lastly Pentacles? And therefore if I map it to all the cards in the spread, it refers to thoughts before action (i.e. Queen & King of Pentacles). And it being King of Swords, it could mean she's in the last stages of the thought process?

Actually, that’s the first I’ve heard of someone with that kind of take on the cycle! The main cycle I’ve heard of is that, yes, the whole set of minor arcana is a cycle, generally a cycle of time, though. I really like the idea of what you are describing, though, because it sheds light on why some decks order the suits one way, and others another way. It also really explains personality a little, because some people will start developing whatever it is in, say, the suit of Swords, thoughts, and have to work all their way back around to Swords before they can/will do whatever it is, which says something about who they are, but someone else may not need to go through all four suits or may even start in pentacles. But yes, I would say that she is in the last stages of the thought process. Do remember, though, there are another 14 cards before finishing the pentacles, too!

This is interesting as I had an earlier spread on her which she sees Knight of Wands as "desires" of the rs, which kind of mean a non-committed short but fun fling. Does this then mean fundamentally she is someone non-committal? I wonder what's driving this non-commitment or what can I do to convince for a commitment?

It can also mean a person who loves journeys or traveling. A sort of…spun to fit the question version of that sounds like she’s the kind who isn’t willing or isn’t ready to settle down. With all of the other cards that are around this woman, it makes me think of three possibilities. One, she’s a non-monogamous person (also non-poly) and has no desire to change how she’s wired to want to be in a relationship with someone who wants to be monogamous. She may just be one of those people who likes to fool around with people but never commit, and that’s something that you can’t change. People don’t change unless they want to change, and even then, more often than not the changes they make aren’t changes to their fundamental self. A tiger can’t change his stripes, but they can certainly have them shaved off to hide them. Two, she’s been in a really, really rough relationship recently and is still hurting over it. In which case, she’s being non-committal for all the wrong reasons and will end up hurting herself as well as everyone around her. Three, she just isn’t ready for a relationship. Perhaps she’s even been a serial monogamous person and is enjoying her time without a relationship. Perhaps she feels like she’s just not mentally mature enough for a relationship (since KnoC does dictate a young person, though not as young as pages).

Very interesting take - I'd never have come to the conclusion that KoC is a self control card but judging from her behaviour, it is a show of self control of not showing her emotions and I originally thought that was displayed through King of Swords.

I actually never have, either. I was struggling to figure out how to alternatively interpret this for you, so I pulled up one of my LWB’s and there it was, and it made a lot of sense. So I think both of them are cards of self-control, but in different ways, and I think it’s the same for all of the kings, honestly. The KoC is exercising self-control over showing emotions (cups). The KoS is exercising self-control over showing thoughts (swords), a penny for your thoughts being denied and all that jazz. The KoP would be self-control over the physical self or money (depending on the kind of reading). The KoW would be showing self-control over the mind.

Actually, both of us never came close to openly admitting our emotions. Perhaps an amount of flirting on her end and an amount of deep caring attitude coming from me, that's about it. I guessed she wants to be left alone after her sudden clam shell behaviour & the cards seem to indicate that. So I will leave it.

I would say that’s a good idea. Remember, not all of our desires are verbally expressed, so it’s good that you’re paying attention to how she’s acting. Remember, the KoP would be the ultimate self-control over the body (and actions that go with it), so the QoP would likely touch on the same capability. Perhaps not to the same extent and ability of the KoP, but certainly more than the KnoP or the PoP.

I like your narration of the sun and dark room. I suppose there is a lot at stake given we are working in the same company so there is a good possibility that she opts to remain as friends in order to avoid any potential awkwardness in the future.

Thank you! It came to me while I was typing and thought it was too good to not include lol. That is definitely a possibility. I would also suggest checking company policy and seeing if it says anything about dating within the office. Some employers say that dating in the office is verbotem. Others are like “eh, who cares? Sleep with whomever you want! Just not the boss.” Since you work together, you could also be seen as the highlight (heh heh. Puns) of her day in the office. Have to two of you had any significant amount of interaction while at the office, or has it always been after?

Do you mean Pentacles being the 4th and last in the suit of minor arcana and therefore leading to a transformation next stage? Sorry but I'm not sure I understood this correctly, would you be able to elaborate further?

I definitely can! I meant more along the lines of like…so the QoP (position four in the spread) is her right now and the KoP is her 6-8 weeks from now. So like by the time 6-8 weeks has happened, she won’t have just changed her mind, she’ll have made a complete transformation to the next “stage” of who she needs to be to be happy in her life. However, when tying it into the cycle you mentioned prior, then yes, this could be the last step before she undergoes and complete and radical transformation as she heads back to the suit of wands, unless that’s where she started, in which case she’d probably be done with her cycle on this matter and ready to start the cycle on the next matter in her life.

So what we're saying here is that she will reach an answer within herself by then and take necessary actions, be it active or passive. I'm of 2 minds on this. While I think she prefers initiative, I also think there is enough initiative shown and passivity on her end for the last couple of months so if she ultimately decides what she wants, she should take an action. But again, I'm speculating logically, not intuitively.

I would say she’ll hopefully reach a decision by then. Remember, the Tarot as a divination tool may only show a possible future (otherwise, I would have been in a relationship with someone a couple years ago with long red hair and brown eyes. I can definitely say that wasn’t the case lol), so she may possibly reach A decision by then, though it may even be a decision of “I need to think about this more”. I think in this case, because she’s such a logical person, speculating logically may be the best idea. So I would say by that time, based on her past behaviors, she may end up making the first move. If she’s ready to do so.

She came across as being intuitive so maybe you're right, she might have sensed something through my caring attitude towards her. Other than that, I show no romantic feelings or chatter in that manner. So I will just keep it in this manner and take things as they come.

Probably a good idea, though do remember that not everything is revealed verbally. It’s like the great sea witch once said, “Don’t underestimate the power of body language” lol. Some people are very good at even picking up minor movements. I will leave that for you to decide, though, whether she seems to be the right kind of observant to have noticed any subtle body language you may have thrown her way.

Thank you for your interpretations! It's very very helpful! I'll share the progress when I see one

You’re very welcome, and thank you! This has been just as much a learning experience for me with the cards, and I definitely appreciate that! And please do! Here’s to hoping something happens before 6-8 weeks that’s good, but if not then at least we have a time frame we can wait for and expect to hear back in.

 

[Miradeck]

Here’s to hoping something happens before 6-8 weeks that’s good, but if not then at least we have a time frame we can wait for and expect to hear back in.

Hello mitsuraki, it's been a good 3 months since this tarot spread was drawn and I thought I'd drop back on some updates. I would say some cordial exchanges took place, with a group of colleagues, with no special advances made by both parties. If I map it back to the cards, the quiet time needed (HP) was given for her to think, but as to what thinking she has on her end, is not known to me but from the position that depicts what action she would take i.e. King of Pents, it has been "inactivity" for the last 6-8 weeks.

 

[Tara]

Dear all,

I’ve been fumbling with a relationship that has gone stagnant and trying to ascertain what the other party is feeling about me, i.e. are there romantic feelings or it is purely friendship etc. I tried the following “How she feels about me” spread and would really like to hear some feedback and sharing of perspective into this situation. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated! Thanks.

2
*
1*4*5*6
*
3

Summary of spread:
1. What she’s telling me – King of Swords
2. What she’s really thinking – The High Priestess
3. How she feels about me deep down – Knight of Cups
4. How she’s walking her talk – Queen of Pentacles
5. Outside influences on her walk – The Sun
6. How she will be walking her talk within 6-8 weeks – King of Pentacles

My interpretations:
1. King of Swords - She feels that she needs to be rational and not let her heart rule her head. She is worried of rash decisions and wants to use logic to rein herself in and therefore not make any moves that are telling of her emotions.
2. The High Priestess - She thinks there is some connection between us that is difficult to pin down or describe and that there could be an element of guidance coming by hanging out with me.
3. Knight of Cups - There is some romantic feelings developing in the background (Cups) but it’s not a mature feeling (Knight) as yet. So she is taking her time to feel and decide what she really feels for me and what she wants to do next.
4. Queen of Pents - She is evaluating the situation and contemplating the potential of a relationship with me.
5. The Sun - There are many positive vibes coming from me that is encouraging her to start something new with me.
6. King of Pents – The King is sitting on the throne and usually doesn’t make any moves. Pents being the slow moving earth material tells me that even if there is any action, it will be very very slow. So I assess it as she is not going to make any move and instead will wait for me to approach her.

Am I reading this correctly or are there alternative suggestions? Any feedback from the group please? Thanks.

She could be expecting or wanting you to take action as the King of Swords does. He is decisive and is not swayed by emotions. Are you emotional and following her like a puppy dog?
High Priestess - She is really thinking that you are passive and are the one who is not showing your feelings, or that you are not ready for the relationship.
Knight of Cups - She feels deep down that she does feel romantically for you but she may be idealizing it as it is all in her head (I take it you are not together or had a date). She may be wondering whether to take action or whether you will.
Queen of Pentacles - She is patient and sensual and is trying to show you she desires you.
The Sun - Coming to fruition of things you desire. All positive, unless there is innocent friendship that is all that is there on her end.
King of Pentacles - Steady progress and confidence or maybe a more masculine approach to you both.
I think that if you are still here 8 weeks later talking about her but have done nothing, you will get nowhere, as she will not take action. Most women want the man to be assertive and you should take the bull by the horns and ask her out. What have you got to lose? If she likes you she will be thrilled and if she only feels friendship she will respect you for putting it out there. She probably senses you like her anyway at this stage and would be put off by your hesitation. The Knight of Swords is telling you to take charge.

Regards
Tara