I've had this thought before, but it was rekindled by another thread I was following just now.
I went through a series of Tarot readers at a particular time in my life, and I used to hang up or walk out on any of them that would just offer a 'judgment'. By that I mean, I was uncomfortable just being told what the reader thought about the spread rather than what it what actually meant, so that I could make up my own mind about the pertinence of it.
A perfectly fictitious example:
Sitter: "Is it worth giving X a second chance. He cheated on me."
Spread: Rx King Wands - 7 Swords - Three Cups
Reader A (non judgmental) : "I think X is not the faithful man you would wish him to be. It still seems he's sneaking around as there's definitely the energy of a 3rd person here. My advice is it seems it would be risky to give him a second chance."
Reader B (judgmental) : "X is a casanova, he's not worth you honey. Why do you want to be with someone like this? He's already cheated on you. Have some respect for yourself. Why would you even think about a second time after what he did to you the first time? (Etc)"
So even though I know Reader B means as well as Reader A, I always prefer the A approach. It would be interesting to see how people feel about these styles. I wonder whether there should be more than an interpretation of the reading offered, until and unless the querent asks for advice.
I also read something about Life Coaches around here and I have come across a few readers who add this to their description - so am wondering whether this is what separates the plain simple reader from the coach/counsellor.
That's a complicated question in a sense. The first reason is as a reader I would never read on a question of that sort. I would never ask a question that tries to tell the querent what they should or should not do. Or what is worth doing for a querent or not. I would not read on the question as asked, although that may have been only an example and not necessarily a real question asked.
The way I see it, Tarot is a tool to empower us and to give us what we need to know to make the best decisions for ourselves. Not to make the decisions for us. Telling someone what it is worth doing for them, takes that away from them. Imho, they need to make the decision for themselves, what they feel is worth it to them or not.
Maybe I would ask instead about what would come in the future IF they gave X a second chance. Maybe even advice on things they could do to increase the chances of things going well. Then I would leave the querent to decide what is worth it to them or not.
That said (and not trying to be annoying, just to try to answer in the best way I can), I don't like either approach too much. Although I do myself MUCH prefer a non-judgmental method, the last sentence ruins it for me. I don't like that she is giving her advice. personally. I believe she should just say what she sees and let you decide. Without the last sentence, it works well for me. OR instead of "My advice is it seems it would be risky to give him a second chance", just "The cards are saying that is would be risky to give him another chance." To me, keep the personal advice out of it and just tell what you see in the cards.
The second one was, for me was much worse. I don't see that ANY of what this readers is saying is coming from the cards at all. A reading is a reading after all. Reader A is saying what they see in the cards. Reader B, it looks like pure opinion and nothing more that I can see.
I think it's important as a reader to keep our own opinions out of it.
It may well be clear to us that a person should have self-respect and not let themselves be walked over. But we have to understand too that each of us in on a different place in our life paths.
WE learned what we know through experiences we had in our lives, but others have not had the same experiences we have had. They learnt what they learnt under different circumstances. We can't just GIVE them our experiences, they have to learn on their own many times, just as we did.
What seems clear to us may not be to the querent. Not where they are in their lives as the current moment. We can't always just MAKE it clear by telling them. They may not be ready to change or able to inside just yet. And I think we have to respect where people are inside atm. Just as we would want them to respect who and where we are inside at any given moment.
I think that being judgmental disrespects the reader. Especially something like asking them WHY they want to be with someone like this is hurtful to them. And as readers we are meant to help not hurt.
IF they want to be with this person, it is because imo they have not yet evolved inside past the point of needed to do this. They can't help that. Inner evolution is a process, and not one that happens overnight. They are not more "advanced" than that at the present moment or they would not choose painful experiences for themselves.
None of us are perfect. Life teaches us more and more as we move forward. But they want to be there because they don't know yet how to stop. It's not for the reader to berate a querent, who is doing the best they are able at the current time.
Those are my opinions atm, if I explained them well (hopefully)
Babs
