Affirmation vs. Accuracy?

[Barleywine]

As a life-long student and practioner of tarot divination, I've always striven to come up with the most precise interpretations that will illuminate the subject of the question. So I've been somewhat bemused by what I see as the "Don't worry, be happy!" school of modern tarot reading. It seems like everything has to have an "affirmation" appended to it. Now, I do try to get the most constructive advice out of every card, but the fact that I've used the Thoth for the last 40+ years has shown me that not every card is equally redeemable (unless "putrefication" is an essential preface to "finding the gold among the dross" of a difficult situation). I think it can run dangerously close to "telling querents what they want to hear;" I prefer to read exactly what I see in a card and not try to "spin" the message beyond delivering it in as benefical a way possible. If a bit of dissembling is sometimes prudent (while I could say "You're gonna die, but look on the bright side - your heirs will be happy," I wouldn't), blatantly sugar-coating an interpretation doesn't sit well with me.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on the subject.

 

[AraLuck]

As a life-long student and practioner of tarot divination, I've always striven to come up with the most precise interpretations that will illuminate the subject of the question. So I've been somewhat bemused by what I see as the "Don't worry, be happy!" school of modern tarot reading. It seems like everything has to have an "affirmation" appended to it. Now, I do try to get the most constructive advice out of every card, but the fact that I've used the Thoth for the last 40+ years has shown me that not every card is equally redeemable (unless "putrefication" is an essential preface to "finding the gold among the dross" of a difficult situation). I think it can run dangerously close to "telling querents what they want to hear;" I prefer to read exactly what I see in a card and not try to "spin" the message beyond delivering it in as benefical a way possible. If a bit of dissembling is sometimes prudent, blatantly sugar-coating an interpretation doesn't sit well with me.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on the subject.

I totally agree with you! I was reading for an online forum and told a lot of people the plain and simple messages I got from my cards. The only thing I did was try and put it as nicely as possible to them. Unfortunately, I didn't last long there because I got very few positive reviews. Generally, people will leave a review if they are happy with the reading. If not, they just need to internalise it and digest it, hence just kinda go away with their tail in between their legs.

So a definite yes from me! I hate seeing the bad things... but I know it's better to get a headsup if possible, than just waltz into troubled waters because we heard what we wanted. I used these online readers extensively last year because I wanted to know about a particular situation... I had a good 75% tell me exactly how I wanted things to turn out. But few readers told me what actually would happen... and even my readings were repeatedly indicating it wouldn't end as I wanted. That taught me a huge lesson!

 

[gregory]

I agree, too. With the caveat that I will try to tell them the awful stuff kindly.

 

[Laurelle]

I think there is a large bank of people who come to tarot readers because they are desperate, lonely, in need of love, a new career choice.....It's almost like a therapy session. They need something that the tarot cards may not be able to deliver.

A lot of people don't want to hear the negative even when it's true. They don't want to hear, "I think you might suffer from a personality disorder and it's affecting your children. Maybe you need to seek counseling." (an example).

A self reflective person might take this and really try and digest this, but the world is full of people who aren't as self reflective as a lot of people who study tarot can be. (I have found that students of tarot seem to be very self-reflective people, in general)

We even run across it on this board. People drawing cards for the same questions week after week and it's usually "Does he/she love me?" "Are we getting back together?" And if someone offers a different point of view or sees something different in the cards then the original poster will refute it and thus deny the other interpretation because it's not what they want to hear.

We also have this new "affirmations" in child rear here in the USA. It's like everyone needs a medal or a badge for participation. We have to include everyone. I think this sets up false hopes for the children and now we have an entire generation of people who think they are entitled to things that they never worked for.

So I think this new tarot style might be an extension of the new way of looking at the world. It's like the old saying, "The best thing the devil ever did was to fool you he didn't exist." There are bad things in this world and there are bad people and sometimes you get a tarot reading that predicts bad events maybe on their way to you.

 

[MissChiff]

Forewarned is forearmed.....

 

[Barleywine]

I suppose I pitch my tent in the camp of the "soothsayers" rather than that of the psychotherapists (for one thing, I'm not certified to counsel). I have to say I haven't encountered a whole lot of outright denial here when I try to help with interpretation, but then I generally stay away from "thinks/feels" questions in general, and "love" readings in particular. Ask me "What is likely to happen?" and I'll take my best shot at it. If asked "Does X love me?" I'd be prone to reply "Why don't you just go ask him or her?" "Rabbits and hats" are outside my area of specialization.

 

[Citrin]

Yup, seeing that too...

I'm also noticing a new trend of people ending a reading with an oracle card, which I believe is caused by two things. 1. It photographs nicely, looks "cool" to mix decks in this era of instagram and snapchat etc. 2. They only use oracle decks with super happy messages (Crazy Sexy Love Notes or whatever it's called comes to mind here...) so they can do the whole sugarcoating you mention, and let the querent forget (?) about the tough parts of the reading.

Life isn't easy always, and I think a tarot reading should be able to reflect that.

 

[cbiz83]

What I see a lot is not flat out lying for the purposes of affirmation, but prevarication--which can be almost as bad. I also think there are some premises to establish with regard to what we think the Tarot is actually capable of doing. I think most people agree, that as the Three Eyed Raven just pronounced in this week's Game of Thrones "The past is written, the ink is dry." I think we'd get into a large debate if we tried the same claim about the future.

Tarot as a Jungian tool to know one's self and promote individuation is therapeutic. Tarot as an oracle is faith-based (faith in deity/deities, in energy, in spirit, in the reader-as-medium, in the cards themselves). I think a lot of people are somewhere in between this spectrum.

We're not licensed therapists, but people may or may not put their faith in us as they would a licensed therapist. The difference is that we don't always have to clean up if we've made a mess. So, I think there's a certain amount of ethical responsibility at play here. Those ethics aren't clear cut or rigid either. I think we have a responsibility to accurately represent what we see in the cards. We also have a responsibility to do it with kindness, as others have said. Kindness does not = prevarication or flat out lying.

Recently, someone on another forum asked me something pernicious like "am I making the right life choices?" That's a whopper of a question. The cards I drew for him were all in agreement, very coherent, very synergistic. It was a resounding and loud "No! Please don't cross the street without holding someone's hand. Or cook. Or do anything without supervision" (this is clearly hyperbole). But when I composed my answer to him, I reframed his question and addressed it as "What aren't I doing and what should I be doing?" so that I could still deliver the message of the cards (stop leaping without looking, you need to think about consequences and Big Picture Thinking, you need to be prepared) but in a way that is digestible. The same information has been conveyed.

I think it's important to read people as well as the cards (divorcing one from the other seems irresponsible, in my view). I'm blunt when needed, careful when needed, loud when needed etc. At the base of this, I think of reading Tarot as helping others, which means framing our messages in a way that has the greatest chance of being heard and processed. However, I don't believe in changing the message. Tone can be 9/10th of communication. I do believe in changing the question beforehand. I"ll flat out say to people "Are you sure this is how you want to ask this? The answer may be as blunt and unhelpful as the way you've asked your question. How about if we ask it in this less pointed way?"

As Marshall Mcluhan said, when talking about communications and media, "The medium is the message." This hits here a lot. The method of presenting information is itself the message. That's what a lot of people will walk away from our tables with.

TL;DR: Don't lie, but don't be a jerk.

 

[MissChiff]

I'm also noticing a new trend of people ending a reading with an oracle card, which I believe is caused by two things. 1. It photographs nicely, looks "cool" to mix decks in this era of instagram and snapchat etc. 2. They only use oracle decks with super happy messages (Crazy Sexy Love Notes or whatever it's called comes to mind here...) so they can do the whole sugarcoating you mention, and let the querent forget (?) about the tough parts of the reading.

Life isn't easy always, and I think a tarot reading should be able to reflect that.

I've noticed that also... I like Lenormand... But not at the same time I use tarot.

 

[DownUnderNZer]

I studied Psychology & Counselling and in a counselling session a Therapist doesn't really give advise nor offer insight into a situation based on what s/he thinks unless mirroring what the client says.

Client: "I am angry because my mother is a control freak!"
Counsellor: " So, your mother makes you angry because you see her as a control freak".


It is all about rapport and a lot of listening and even challenging a little if there are inconsistencies. Walking in the client's shoes you could say.

With "Tarot" I know some use it to "counsel" only if advise is given it makes me wonder. I suppose choices could be laid out and then it is up to the client to choose, but advise is not usually what a counselor does. S/he is supposed to enable a client to see through whatever confusion or dilemma and then to make her or his own choices etc.

Tarot gives advise and choices and it is the responsibility of the reader to be considerate and not harsh if it isn't necessary. As for the sitter, if s/he is not prepared to listen to a few home truths, then s/he should not be asking for a reading.

To me it works both ways.

I suppose I pitch my tent in the camp of the "soothsayers" rather than that of the psychotherapists (for one thing, I'm not certified to counsel). I have to say I haven't encountered a whole lot of outright denial here when I try to help with interpretation, but then I generally stay away from "thinks/feels" questions in general, and "love" readings in particular. Ask me "What is likely to happen?" and I'll take my best shot at it. If asked "Does X love me?" I'd be prone to reply "Why don't you just go ask him or her?" "Rabbits and hats" are outside my area of specialization.