Bit of a rant, close-mindedness - sigh.

[SunChariot]

I was so disappointed and even a little bit offended by her attitude – she imposed herself upon my cards without asking (a woman who didn’t even know my name!), and then proceeded to discount my knowledge and opinions with the understanding that hers were superior. The Tarot community in my city seems virtually non-existent, and as she is the only other person I’ve met who reads tarot I would have liked to have had an insightful discussion with her about it. I guess I’m so used to the community on AT being so supportive and open-minded, I’d hoped to meet other tarot readers as open to discussion and the ideas of others.

I truly understand how you felt and why. That being said I am sure there are a number of AT members in your city that you could maybe meet with to discuss Tarot in person. We're all over the world and a huge community.

Babs

 

[astronautica]

Thank you all for your replies! It was so nice to wake up this morning and read them

but the other one...
well he's a case , he is supposedly a gipsy ( he wasnt born or knows any gipsy , but some girl who suposedly is a gipsy psychic told him he probably had gipsy blood or soemthinsg , they're both 16 of course) and so he thinks you have to be a gipsy psychic to learn or use tarot , that it has to be a gift , and so on , he thinks I am probably magical too because I've read for him and he aproved my reading haha , and he's soooooo closed minded about magic , he knows crap about it , he thinks it is lkike harry potter , her mom does witchcraft but doenst want him to, and so he thinks he's magical but her evi mother binded him , but he doesnt study or reads about it at all , no books no nothing , he just asks me about it , wants me to teach him , but he wants me to teach me only what he THINKS is right D: hjaha its horribleeee!! DX god he is also a slut and tried to seduce me when I told him I wanst goinna teach him ._. hahaha

Oh my Minotauro! That's quite a story haha! The boy reminds me of a girl I used to know, when we were quite young (maybe 13?) and first discovered tarot and decided we were going to be witches She had all these rules about how you had to purify your deck every day and had to sleep with it under your pillow for three nights before you could use it, and couldn't buy your own... and because she seemed so much more adamant and knowledgeable I took her word as gospel and waited for my second deck to be given to me, which didn't happen until I was 18 - all the while looking forlornly at scans on AT! I find it funny now that she has all but forgotten about that little sojourn in our lives, so maybe this is just a phase this boy is going through while he figures out himself and what tarot means to him. He's only young still, and I'm sure we've all had those awkward teenage years!

Totally agree with this. It's so true. And also, it is a gentle reminder of just how deep our love for tarot goes. See how it stirs us up! These aren't just cards, they go very deeply within us and make us very protective of what they bring to our lives, they are very tied up with our sensitivity and our sense of self. So much so that an encounter like this make us feel invaded and sullied.

I would feel exactly the same.

Invaded is definitely the right word, Le Fanu! As she was shuffling my cards all I could think was that the second she put them down I was going to take them and reorder them and maybe even cleanse them - something I haven't done for a long long time! - but this seemed like a more than apt time for it! And I think as much as it is an invasion of our sense of self, it's also a criticism of our spiritual expression - as bad perhaps as criticising the way someone might express their religion.

I do not believe she (the friend's mother) is a good reader, from all you have said. Her pride seems to be greater than her skill. Or maybe she is feeling insecure about her skills and your talking like you knew more than she did made her feel go into denial of your skills You are a better reader and it shows. Your skills are clearly greater than hers.

Thankfully you knew enough about Tarot to know that at the time. People who talk in absolutes like she did and sound so sure of themselves can cause some real harm to newbie readers. The only other reader I knew when I started out insisted that you can only read with one deck for life. She was so sure about it that I gave away my second deck and it took me forever to get another. It stilted things for me a bit.

These people can harm people's progress at times if the person does not know any better.

And yes it was quite rude, to pick up YOUR deck and then proceed to insult your skills with your own deck that you were kind enough to let her use. It really was rude. (sigh) And all of what she was insisting on seems wrong. And if she had to look in the LWB, she does not know all that much about Tarot. And if she is not willing to accept any meaning that is not in there (and LWBs by their size are very abridged meaningwise) or any new method,she will never improve.

Sad for her, and sad that she may negatively influence others. You knew enough to know that what she was saying was not true. Others who are newer to it may not.

Babs

Thank you for your kind words Babs, it means a lot I did find it a little laughable that she seemed so sure that she had all the answers and yet still needed to refer to the LWB for meanings, but I was trying not to judge because we all have to start at the beginning – but she needs to understand there’s no shame in being a beginner, and no need to feel defensive about it!
But the good thing that came out of it was that it gave me a chance to talk to her daughter about tarot and dispel some of those myths – she seems really keen to learn so I’m giving her one of my old decks next week and when work’s quiet I can help her learn

I truly understand how you felt and why. That being said I am sure there are a number of AT members in your city that you could maybe meet with to discuss Tarot in person. We're all over the world and a huge community.

I think there is a tarot meet up once a month in a café not far from where I live that I saw advertised on AT a while back, but I’ve always been working (and a little shy! )

 

[wildchilde]

Thank you for your kind words Babs, it means a lot I did find it a little laughable that she seemed so sure that she had all the answers and yet still needed to refer to the LWB for meanings, but I was trying not to judge because we all have to start at the beginning – but she needs to understand there’s no shame in being a beginner, and no need to feel defensive about it!
But the good thing that came out of it was that it gave me a chance to talk to her daughter about tarot and dispel some of those myths – she seems really keen to learn so I’m giving her one of my old decks next week and when work’s quiet I can help her learn

I'm so sorry you and your deck were violated in this way, but it sounds as though you truly did learn some good lessons from the experience and I for one am proud of you for being strong enough in yourself to not let her negativity get to you and for being patient enough to let her "get it out of her system" LOL in order for your connection and teaching opportunity with her daughter to emerge.

I don't believe I would have had that sort of patience. I believe as soon as she shuffled them and laid them out (if I couldn't get them away from her before this) I would have scooped them up and put them away. I guess at my age, I just don't have the patience for this kind of rude, pushy, nonsensical behavior. I hope that along with the lessons you have already learned, you also learn from this to a) not leave your deck out in public if you don't wish others to "play" with it and b) to set your own boundaries regarding your personal possessions i.e. you did not have to allow her to touch or to use your deck and had every right to take it away from her at any point rather than allow her to violate your private possession and attempt to undermine your confidence. Yes, people like this serve to remind us how we don't wish to become, they also serve to remind us that we must stand in our own power and not allow others to override our own judgment and boundaries.

 

[Aladdin]

Despite her relatively advanced years, clearly this woman knows nothing about the Tarot and probably very little about anything else for that matter.
There is always a 'loudness' surrounding both immature and insecure people regardless of age.

 

[nisaba]

<grin> I have someone like that woman in the opening post, whom I swap readings with every few months. She's a friend and I like her very much, but she believes she's a better reader than I am because she only uses one deck and always keeps it wrapped in white silk.

Her meanings for cards are very superficial, and based only on romance.

I'm hoping she'll learn by osmosis, seeing how I read and that my readings for her are always very relevant ("amazing! How did you get that?")

 

[Chiriku]

Effrontery and cheek, touching cards that don't belong to her without so much as a by-your-leave. Unless they have powerful clairvoyant (or other native psychic) abilities, a person of such little social attunement and emotional intelligence probably cannot be a very effective or nuanced reader.

For a long time, I was wary of reading for other tarotists because of my own bad experience with a tarot-reading boor early in my tarot life. In contrast to your story, this person was a very young man of around my own age at the time, late teens I think. Two minutes after meeting me for the first time, upon learning that I read tarot and that I had not been reading for very long (I think a year or less), he demanded that I sit down right there in the coffee shop and subject myself to a reading from him.

Obviously, the cards are intuitive triggers and each person's intuition varies from the next's, so I try to keep my mind open to other readers' interpretations of cards. But his "reading's" connection to the cards was nil. It consisted of a long monologue delivered in a menacing tone--accompanied by uncomfortably penetrative eye contact---telling me why I would never be a good tarot reader, that my interpretations of the cards were always wrong, and that I chose to read tarot out of hubris and conceit instead of to help others.

But I'm happy to report that that was a one-off, and that in years since, I have read for other tarotists--of varying experience levels--and each time I've done so, it's gotten easier and more natural. The same will more than likely happen for you.

There is always a 'loudness' surrounding both immature and insecure people regardless of age.

Quite so.

 

[Le Fanu]

There is always a 'loudness' surrounding both immature and insecure people regardless of age.

Very true. I have a psychologist friend who always says that the more immature a person is, the greater the need to have to verbalise everything uncensored...

 

[Nurtia]

Quite some stories here and Chiriku, that was a terrorist indeed!

I am naturally diffident towards loud people too and towards anyone trying to impose in any way. But I have some aggressiveness in me, I think I would have jumped the minute she took the cards and stopped her right there, even brutally because hey, she was using no courtesy to me! I hate people pushing you around and this is what that lady was doing Astronautica.

I guess these things do happen to those who are more sensitive, it's like a test they conjure up for themselves, to check their own firmness or trust in their abilities.

Life is like this, you're sensitive about anything, something that can hurt you right there is going to show up and you have to deal with it, so you can grow.