Icky feeling when potential Readers suss out your previous questions?

[Alta]

I know you said you didn't want to discuss your point of view, but I would like to say that I agree with everything that you posted above.

 

[DaughterOfDanu]

I know you said you didn't want to discuss your point of view, but I would like to say that I agree with everything that you posted above.

Me? Thank you I just don't enjoy the back and forth and nitpicking of individual things that some enjoy here on the forums. I used to be right in there years ago on another unrelated forum, but now it just wears me out I simply wanted to share my opinion, maybe offer a different point of view for others. I feel something can be learned from everyone's POV even ones that don't match with your own.

 

[Grizabella]

This thread is so long that I only got to about page three and then had to stop reading because my eyes are acting up today. But I only had one small comment anyway, really, and that is:

I've always thought it odd that readers would say things like "Didn't you ask this question three exchanges in a row?" or something like that. I never try to fossik around (I love that Brit term ) to see what my sitters have been asking in other threads. I just don't care to spend the time on it. My purpose in the Exchange is to try out a new spread or a new deck or something like that. I ask for feedback about how I did with whatever it is I'm trying out and I don't really care how many times their question has been asked. I just do my best to understand the cards I draw for them at that particular reading.

In real life, I also read on repeat questions. If the question is getting tedious, then it's my prerogative to just modify the question a little to ask about another facet of the situation. I'll admit that it does get old to read on the same question more than once or twice, but we never know----maybe something different will show in the cards.

It's already been said a lot of times in this thread that this is a public forum and it's also a learning forum, so being able to see posts posted publicly is a learning aid. Nothing anywhere on the internet is really private anyway.

 

[Debra]

If the forum mechanism for searching a user's posts were to be disabled, Google will do the same, albeit less efficiently.

So I did search. Claims of stalking and rudeness etc. on the forum surprised me.

I quickly found this: A reader declined to read for someone in a very clear, concise, polite fashion. The requester asked for clarification, the reader politely confirmed her decision, the requester said thank you. The next day, this thread appeared, with the original post quite strongly stating why such refusals are wrong etc.

Because of the search option, I can easily see whether someone is having an uncharacteristically bad day or if their post is a good representation of their overall participation.

Ironically, I'm starting a program to beef up my internet security and clean up my online presence. I also realised I have several self-readings I can update on the outcome, and I will do that too.

 

[Barleywine]

Getting rather tired of the endless sniping, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I just created a spread that lets you pick the outcome card you want from the deck (with some strings attached, of course); then if what it predicts is shown as being unlikely by the methods I set up, you will have only yourself to blame.

http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=270643

 

[G6]

That is absolutely not going to happen. If you post here, then you must recognize that this is a public forum and everything you post is indeed public. If this makes you unhappy do not post here. Or on any public forum.

Personally, I don't care if people look into my post history in my profile. It was a problem for the OP. Again, you are missing the distinction here. Making a post history private in a profile does not mean their posts disappear from the threads. Their posts do not disappear from the threads. The threads stay intact. This is an option available on many, many, many public forums. Making this suggestion is not a cause to tell someone they should stay off of public forums.

 

[gregory]

That is absolutely not going to happen. If you post here, then you must recognize that this is a public forum and everything you post is indeed public. If this makes you unhappy do not post here. Or on any public forum.

Thank you for saying that. And to G6 - as I said earlier - only the other day I wanted to find a post Lee had made about the Marteau deck - and yes if I had known when I started looking that that was the specific TdM I could have found it from thread titles - but I only remembered it was about a TdM. It I hadn't been able to search his posts I would have been decidedly peeved.

I debated on whether or not to reply to this because I feel this whole thread is a powder keg, and why bother especially after the original poster decided she no longer wants to participate... which in itself is a little frustrating. I typically avoid hot topic threads out of not wanting to butt heads but since there are many others who are coming out of their shells to give their opinion, I will as well since the quote above from Bonny really struck a nerve as a reader.

Let me just preface this by saying I am only speaking for myself and from my experiences. I don't wish to debate or go back and forth as some forum members enjoy. I'm simply adding my opinion. Funny this popped up the same night I began considering offering free readings here, I think I'll take it as a sign to wait a little longer to decide on if I'd like to because frankly being told the above put a sour taste in my mouth for sure.

If you post it on the internet, it is public and therefore able to be read by others. This is Internet Usage 101. If someone does not want their business known to others, it's best they don't post it on public forums especially ones like AT where post history can be read. If you truly want a private session it's best to get a one on one with a reader either through an online reading OR better yet by visiting one face to face. This may cost you money, but think of it as paying for your privacy.

A reader has every right to turn someone down for whatever reason they wish. If they feel the need to go through someone's post history to make sure they aren't being taken advantage of by someone who only wishes to ask the same question to different people until they receive the answer they wish, then that is their right. It isn't stalking, it's the reader defending their boundaries and ensuring they aren't crossed. Some of us are sick of being treated like a fortune cookie. We are human beings who take time and energy to give a reading, and we deserve the right to turn down someone if we do not wish to give a reading, especially if that reading is free.

It is the sitter who is being gifted, not the reader. We may come here for practice or in my case we may read for free as a way of giving back to the community but that does not mean we should bow down to the sitter and cave to giving them whatever they wish in a reading. If this is the attitude someone takes towards their reader, they are certainly not welcome to a reading from me. Neither the reader or sitter is better and often times, especially in the case of readers who are not total newbies, the sitter is gaining more from the experience than the reader. That doesn't mean the reader should take a "holier than thou" attitude nor should they turn down a sitter in a rude way, but there should be some awareness and appreciation to what a reader gives to their sitter when they do a reading.

I'm sorry if someone turned you down rudely Bonny. I do not know the situation details or what they said, but they had every right to say no if they didn't feel like reading for a situation that was already read for whether you like it or not.

I know you said you didn't want to discuss your point of view, but I would like to say that I agree with everything that you posted above.

What she said

 

[Padma]

I do not know the situation details or what they said, but they had every right to say no if they didn't feel like reading for a situation that was already read for whether you like it or not.

Yes, my sentiments as well. (and btw, loved your post, Daughterof Danu).

I have often wanted to post readings for sitters here but I have refrained for this one reason, that I know I will get swarmed by repeat questioners, and I feel they have had their share of readings on their mono-topic, and should let others here be able to get a reading too. (since one can only take so many sitters at a time).

Add to that the number of people who just dump a question with no please or thank you, and without reference even to the reader's name, then others who don't bother to leave feedback, leaving it to the reader to chase them down for it... And being treated like a fortune-cookie, as Danu said, and I think also someone mentioned being treated like a magic 8-ball. That's a really discouraging lack of respect for the reader's humanity, generosity, and time and effort. It is really off-putting.

And I don't think readers are being elitist or stalkerish for turning someone down. That's just speaking of the OP's frustration at being caught out, and venting about it. Readers here are allowed by the forum rules to skip or to refuse a sitter, for whatever reason they decide goes against their boundaries.

And...if the OP thinks that sitters are offering a "gift" to the reader by sitting, perhaps they (repeat sitters) can gift themselves a deck, and use the Your Readings forum to learn how to use it, with the help of others. That's more positive.

Perhaps the best way to participate here for readings is, I believe, the monthly exercises that are an equal give and take.

That's my two cents about it.

ETA oh, yes - about the forum's openness in regard to checking people's posts - it's a public forum, and this is internet, where there is no privacy, and that's just how it is.

 

[Grizabella]

Coming back to add that if a sitter wants to preserve and maintain privacy, then seek out a paid reading from someone you trust and then you have every right to expect privacy and confidentiality. I'm not saying this to be snide---I'm seriously suggesting this. A lot of our members read professionally so if you see someone whose forum input you respect and trust, ask for a paid reading. That would give you the assurance that you were really being read for in private and confidentially.

As for turning down sitters in the Exchange, I don't usually do that, but I do ask that people actually read my first post in the thread. It's obvious when they don't and it's easy to see who just sees a reading offered and hops onto that thread "just because" rather than legitimately wanting a reading and knowing whether it fits the thread or not.

 

[gregory]

I just had a moment.

99% of the questions posted actually are THE GIFT to the Reader. It is not the other way around!
Seriously, Readers need to treat a Sitter with gratitude, because the Sitter is risking a LOT more by the exchange than the Reader is.

If the sitter is the giver - shouldn't the reader be paying them for the privilege of reading for them ? I don't think that happens ANYWHERE....