Maru
You bring up an interesting topic and I hope you don't mind I branch off from this as I've had interesting experiences in this area. I think a vast majority mean no real harm to be honest. Yes, you have people who take pride in their craft, but I think that having some pride in one's craft is a sign of well-earned experience and success, the bruises and wounds included. Some querents are advertising themselves "as-is", quirks and all, with the hopes that nobody will point out the flagrantly obvious and as such, feel they should be immune from certain types of feedback. This is not a helpful or healthy state of mind to be in to have on a learning forum. It's especially not helpful and hinders one's ability to pick up divination in a meaningful manner, I think... because divination is a process we have to be very heavily involved in in order to reap it's benefits.
Anyway this ALL reminds me of art school. Each class we had critiques. It was brutal as much as it was at times affirming. Of course, we had the students who refused to take feedback well, would say they were above the norm, that they had "reasons". They somehow exempt from certain feedback, because how dare we question their vision or their particular "intent". Some people call this "special snowflake status".
Yes, you had some students who were clearly artsnobs, had a great deal of confidence as they were the ones who have been doing it forever. However, they set the example because they took feedback really well and learned to use these environments to their benefit. They knew the importance of a thick skin. That put pressure on the students who weren't putting in enough effort to take the criticisms more seriously if they didn't like the feedback they received. Many hated their own work and thought it could be better, so it seemed rather odd they would have so much pushback. I think because outside of this environment, it's considered "rude" to bring up certain flaws in other people's work... but this is the only way you will grow is by seeking this type of feedback. This is the purpose of critiques. To use other people's eyes and feedback to look at the work in a different way and maybe even consider making changes that would be beneficial to the craft.
Some people were more nasty about it than others. They really took it farther by basically wishing, hoping and praying the best student would either fall dead or get a bad review every single sitting. It pissed them off. As if it would "redeem" their own failures. To me this is a worse attitude and it always totally reflected in their work. You could see the resistence, the overthinking, the not taking a step back in their mistakes. Eventually they saw that others around them were improving substantially and they weren't getting much better, so they either swalloed their pride and put the effort in, or they continued to get low marks because they weren't taking it seriously enough. This is what I think of when I read this thread, this "picking and choosing" of advice... this isn't real life, though society teaches us that it is unacceptable to give unwanted feedback. The same way we're supposed to be mind-readers in critique and somehow determine the original artist's intents, to not "misplace" our criticism. It's asking too much because that's exactly why we have critique and also why we ask questions during criticism, to determine their intent and ask them if they considered another possibility to helping the piece to be more successful.
There is one example that stays with me forever. We had a student who drew stick figures on a flat line picture plane throughout the entire art program. Several years went by and they never got better. Not even a real attempt to draw what they see. They were like first grader pictures in 2D. This was in college but because it was so flagrantly obvious why the person was not improving, nobody would /dare/ give them a terrible critique because the critique would've been so obvious. They weren't even trying. I imagine many asked themselves why that person was even there since they didn't contribute or put in effort, but it was unnecessary to point out from most people's perspective.
At the end of my program, she was in my painting class and this professor, though certainly a little blunt in his teaching methods--was the only person in my entire program to be like... "Hey you're missing color, value, line weight, perspective, composition... what the hell are you doing here if you're not putting in any real effort?". They were grilled, but I wouldn't say in the worst manner than any other individual who gone through the program. This young woman took it very badly, basically said "how dare you single me out! You're a bully", etc... she wanted to go to an expensive art school, which is not a light thing. Many people go into serious debt going in, to the tune of $100,000 + interest. I don't know what their thought process was, how they thought they would get in without a portfolio, or even why it would be a good financial decision. They had no feedback for my professor really, but they spent a good while talking about how insulted they were. She said she did spend 8 hours drawing a few lines which was balony, as there was barely any drawing/painting medium used. There is a prerequisite to how much time to put in which factors into the final grade and will matter come portfolio assessment. It just didn't understand why they would outright lie. What real benefit was there to preserving your ego if it didn't help you to get into the program you wanted to apply for?
The art itself wasn't particularly bad, I rather like the first grader aesthetic (lol), but that it was an insult to the other students who were being taken apart during critique in that environment. That's also why sometimes I think it's better to just point out the obvious. The professor dropped it after they got the "student accomodations" people involved. Not sure if they went into art school or not, but I hope to God for their sake, they did not get in. Art school debt can be rather crippling as paying them back is the equivalent of a mortgage.
I particularly worry about people who engage in fantasy-style thinking from a mental health perspective. I'm close to this issue myself, as my mother is severely disabled physically, but likely also mentally and refuses to receive treatment due to mental health stigma. As such I think these conversations /need/ to be destigmatized. I think better to have received it from someone who at least is taking the time to share their thought processes, even if they just say they mean well, even if they are partially going "mm-MM look at me", but at least they're not letting you hang yourself out to dry... it's not really the point of whether or not they felt "good" to give you advice, as I'm sure we all feel quite good when some of our critiques/interpretations hit home. That's the reaffirming aspect of a critique/learning forum.
Anyway this environment, many forums in general, are setup for the purposes of reciprocal feedback. So most see it as acceptable to give constructive feedback and I think rather rude to put a stigma on this type of critique. To go through the process of blantantly oversharing, asking for a million readings on the same topic(s) and exposing personal life details in the process. Seems rather counter-intuitive to not expect that feedback on these matters would not be reciprocal... in the case of my field, it's a death sentence to ignore criticism. Divination is very similar to analyzing the personal works of other individuals. There is a great deal of ourselves that we put into it, and as such, we may sometimes be blind to some of the more subtler aspects of a reading (or readings). This is where I think most people are coming from when they offer their "take" on a situation...
TDLR: What makes that situation is how /we/ respond to the feedback, not whether other people are trying to "one up" us. We all learn from these exchanges and developments, not just the person who received/gave the criticism, but all those reading and watching... I think to discourage this is in any way, shape or form is harmful to the thought process of a learning forum.
