Should you tell

[janee]

I did a reading for a friend of my daughters. The first question she asked was about her relationship with her current man. I pulled 2 cards which, in my opinion, showed that he was cheating on her. I felt uncomfortable with this and did not tell her what I felt instead I told her that the cards were not being clear and we should move onto other questions. The next day I found out through a third person that she suspects he has been cheating (she had found something in his personal belongings). My question is should we tell all that we see or feel and does that make us responsible for the consequences. In a way, I feel like I have let her down because I didn't tell her and I know had she been a stranger I would have told her what I thought the cards were telling me. All opinions would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Maggiemay]

Dear janee,

I understand that you were uncomfortable with the information you had on hand. It's never pleasant to have to deliver upsetting news....

I am of the opinion that when people find the courage to ask about sensitive issues ( such as taking the pulse of a relationship), they are usually ready to hear the truth.

It's got to be done gently though...

Mag

 

[starrystarrynight]

She probably asked because she suspected something was going on. If you saw it in the cards, I think you should have told her. That doesn't mean you should have given her any "relationship advice"--only told her what the energies of the cards drawn were.

In other words, there's a difference between saying something like, "I see the presence of another female energy here that is coming between you and this man" and "This guy is cheating on you and you need to dump him right now."

I did a reading for an acquaintance of my daughter in a similar vein. I had no idea she and her boyfriend were having problems, but I told her honestly what I saw in the cards. Later she contacted me full of thanks. She had let her boyfriend read the transcript of my reading (I had sent it to her via email), and that opened the floodgates. They cried together and talked for hours about the situation. They are now working on the relationship, and though there are no guarantees, the reading allowed them to broach the subject without any personal advice of mine thrown in.

I think if you are reading for others, you will definitely get as many (if not more) "unhappy" readings as happy ones. You just have to be honest with what you see.

 

[re-pete-a]

Agreed, the english language is very flexible, there are ways of saying things that dont feel good.

Having said that , it's also a good idea to ask the sitter what they want known.

It also feels as though you didn't want to say anything in case you weren't right. In which case it's better, as a reader, to ask the question above.

Your integrity with your intuition is sensitive. Look after it.

 

[Briar Rose]

My question is should we tell all that we see or feel and does that make us responsible for the consequences. QUOTE]

I think we should tell all we see, tactfully. And I don't feel that is makes us responsible for the consequences.

 

[Greg Stanton]

I agree with StarryStarryNight.

It's also important to remember this, especially where human relationships and marriages are involved: YOU COULD BE WRONG, and you would be contributing to the break up a perfectly healthy marriage.

I know one unscrupulous "psychic" who nearly broke up a friend's marriage by telling his wife that he was cheating on her. He wasn't, but it caused a lot of strain on their relationship. Needless to say, the "psychic" is no longer considered to be very reliable by our circle.

 

[janee]

Thank you all for your input and advice. As I said previously, if she were a stranger to me I would have had no hesitation in telling her my thoughts on the cards I pulled (as I always do). This is the first time where friends are concerned, that I have pulled cards and did not want to give my take. I was quite sure from the cards I pulled and from my intuition that he was and is cheating so it was not a case of 'I didn't want to say because I wasn't sure.' I just felt that I didn't want to be responsible for the break up of their relationship. But you are all quite right in saying that, had I told her my thoughts on the cards, it is then up to her what she does with it, whether or not she believes what they are saying and if she chooses to confront or ignore the situation. I am not responsible for their outcome. I feel much better for having asked and know that I will be stronger when reading for friends etc. just carefully presenting to them what the cards are saying and the rest is for them to deal with. Thank you all once again, it is very much appreciated. Best wishes to all in 2009.

 

[Greg Stanton]

I think you should treat friends and strangers with the same delicacy in this situation. I would never say "your husband is cheating on you" to ANYONE who has come to me for a reading. It's immoral, as it could destroy a good relationship.

Word what you say carefully, and if any impropriety exists, advise them how to discover it on their own.

i.e. "The cards are telling me you need to confront your husband on this issue. I can't tell if it's to uncover something that has occurred, or if it is for your own peace of mind."

 

[janee]

I think you should treat friends and strangers with the same delicacy in this situation. I would never say "your husband is cheating on you" to ANYONE who has come to me for a reading. It's immoral, as it could destroy a good relationship.

Word what you say carefully, and if any impropriety exists, advise them how to discover it on their own.

i.e. "The cards are telling me you need to confront your husband on this issue. I can't tell if it's to uncover something that has occurred, or if it is for your own peace of mind."

Good advice, thank you

 

[SunChariot]

My general rule of thumb about how to treat others is to treat them as you would want to be treated. In other words, if you were not sure if you would tell her, ask yourself if you were in the same situation would you want to know.

If so then you should tell her and you owe her that service. If you think you would rather not hear that from the cards then don't impose that on others. There are always tactful ways to tell people anything if that is what you want to do and every story always has two sides which can both be presented.

I can't speak for you but I can only tell you my feelings. IF if were me, yes it would be hard to hear but I would want to know. I would need to know. Because if I did not know I would be getting closer and closer to a man who could not be trusted. Suppose we DID get married and he cheated on me then. Things could get much worse than they are now.

Also, on the chance that the problem could be fixed. If I knew now and I confronted him with it, there is potentially still the chance that things could be fixed still with councelling of some sort, but the sooner that is done the better. It one waits too long it could be too late.

Not to mention, the worst case scenario in which he gets some STD from another woman that your friend's daugther could catch.

I can understand that it's no fun to tell anyone that kind of thing and you don't want to hurt them, but it is possible that they could be more hurt by it in the future than if they new and cut things or or were able to fix them now. And if you do decide to tell her, make sure. I would do an additional reading on my own to make sure of my facts and ask the cards what is the best way to tell her that would be most helpful and inflict the least amount of pain.

And absolutely you should not give advice afterwards on what she should do, just to tell her what the cards say.

Since she asked for the reading, it does not make you responsible for what happens afterwards. She set the ball in motion when she purposely asked you for a reading on the topic. She sought out info on the topic and you just gave her what she asked for and needed. If she was intent on knowing, if you had not provided her the answers, she would have sought them elsewhere.

Just my thoughts.

Babs