Tarot and Relationships

[PentQueen]

I've been lucky in that most my friends have fallen in love with Tarot and divination thanks to me being somewhat open about working with the cards. So cards are just another aspect of what we incorporate when we're together. Food, TV, good discussion, readings and looking through the artwork of my decks- the makings of a perfect girls night

I do pay attention to friends' beliefs before I come out about my interest. Might just be my history but, for example, I have a friend that likes to pray before exams. I have no issue with it and have been more than happy to pray with her, but I wouldn't dare bring up tarot or my spiritual beliefs because there's a good chance she won't be comfortable with it. Why risk it and a good friendship? Sure you may question the depth of our friendship if she wasn't able to get over that aspect of me, but I don't mind focusing on other things we have in common at all. Just like some find it good to avoid topics like politics around friends.

Thanks for this...I can't see myself ever keeping any of my beliefs or interests under wraps, and I would never expect the same of anyone else...doesn't matter if you're Christian, Atheist, whatever, I will accept you, and I would hope the same for those who I consider friends! It sounds like you've accepted your friend for her beliefs, why wouldn't she accept you for yours, if she was a genuine friend?

 

[DaughterOfDanu]

Thanks for this...I can't see myself ever keeping any of my beliefs or interests under wraps, and I would never expect the same of anyone else...doesn't matter if you're Christian, Atheist, whatever, I will accept you, and I would hope the same for those who I consider friends! It sounds like you've accepted your friend for her beliefs, why wouldn't she accept you for hers, if she was a genuine friend?

I'm aware of her type of Christianity, to put it bluntly. After hearing her and other friends we were studying with talk about wishing there'd be a Christian revival, I'm pretty sure tarot is well within the realms of something dangerous and unacceptable to her. Not worth ruining a friendship over one aspect of myself. To me, it doesn't devalue the relationship at all. I don't think people like her can even wrap their minds around differences in beliefs being an okay thing and not something needing to be addressed. It's a way of thinking many are born and raised with. Quite a few never even know any other way of life. I know I couldn't and it took some very emotional points in my life after years and years to begin to move away from the church lifestyle.

 

[CrystalSeas]

why wouldn't she accept you for yours, if she was a genuine friend?

I have quite a few friends who are less tolerant than I am about some things, and more tolerant about others.

I'd be in a tough spot if I only accepted friends who held exactly the same beliefs that I do. I don't think less of them for not being tolerant in the same ways that I am

 

[PentQueen]

I have quite a few friends who are less tolerant than I am about some things, and more tolerant about others.

I'd be in a tough spot if I only accepted friends who held exactly the same beliefs that I do. I don't think less of them for not being tolerant in the same ways that I am

Yes, it would be very challenging to only have friends with the same beliefs...I can't even imagine how that would be possible, actually.

But, in my opinion, acceptance and authenticity—being able to be who you are and not having to hide aspects of yourself—is crucial to any relationship that has depth.

 

[G6]

It really depends on the people involved. Me personally, I have had many, many experiences when people "know" things and it colors the interaction/relationship. This is something everyone should be cautious about because it turns people off and gives those in the esoteric arts a bad rap.

 

[Zephyros]

Relationships are a two-way street and much of one's ability to get along with people depends not only on them, but on you. Everyone close to me knows I read Tarot and even those who hate it like me (or not) for reasons that are unrelated to Tarot at all. I don't feel myself to be Tarot's guardian who must take offense if anyone thinks it silly or stupid. I may not agree with them, but it's a valid opinion. And it isn't like I'm completely tolerant of everything either. I for example can't understand how anyone can develop beliefs relating to crystals, and I'll admit I think it's a waste of time. My use of Tarot doesn't mean I subscribe to everything and neither should anyone else. I respect people, but I don't feel obligated to respect their beliefs and I hold others to the same standard.

The flip side is that I've met people who were into Tarot but were pretty obnoxious all the same. One thing I simply cannot stand, a complete deal breaker for me, is if someone tells me "Oh you're such a Taurus," or "That's such a Queen of Swords (or any other card) thing to do." That's both pretentious and annoying and shows that even people who are into the same kind of stuff can be wildly different.

 

[Absynthe]

I find that once people discover you read tarot that you suddenly have a lot of temporary friends. People begin making overtures towards you when it's fairly obvious all they are interested in is a free reading, of whatever pressing concern they have. Once they get it, you'll never hear from them again.

 

[PentQueen]

Relationships are a two-way street and much of one's ability to get along with people depends not only on them, but on you. Everyone close to me knows I read Tarot and even those who hate it like me (or not) for reasons that are unrelated to Tarot at all. I don't feel myself to be Tarot's guardian who must take offense if anyone thinks it silly or stupid. I may not agree with them, but it's a valid opinion. And it isn't like I'm completely tolerant of everything either. I for example can't understand how anyone can develop beliefs relating to crystals, and I'll admit I think it's a waste of time. My use of Tarot doesn't mean I subscribe to everything and neither should anyone else. I respect people, but I don't feel obligated to respect their beliefs and I hold others to the same standard.

The flip side is that I've met people who were into Tarot but were pretty obnoxious all the same. One thing I simply cannot stand, a complete deal breaker for me, is if someone tells me "Oh you're such a Taurus," or "That's such a Queen of Swords (or any other card) thing to do." That's both pretentious and annoying and shows that even people who are into the same kind of stuff can be wildly different.

I appreciate this response, but I do feel that my original post has become slightly misunderstood based on a couple of the responses (some of which I then responded to, so partly my fault I guess!). I don't feel it's so much that my friends don't like/believe in the tarot, in fact, I feel it's the opposite, as they are so keen on having me read for them! It just seems that the more they feel I know, the more they seem to have a different kind of relationship with me, which is not as intimate as it once was. And on top of that, I feel taken advantage of, because they only want to hang out with me if I read for them. That's really what I was originally trying to get at, but this has now become a discussion about beliefs...

 

[PentQueen]

I find that once people discover you read tarot that you suddenly have a lot of temporary friends. People begin making overtures towards you when it's fairly obvious all they are interested in is a free reading, of whatever pressing concern they have. Once they get it, you'll never hear from them again.

Yes, thank you...this is how I feel exactly...

 

[Zephyros]

I appreciate this response, but I do feel that my original post has become slightly misunderstood based on a couple of the responses (some of which I then responded to, so partly my fault I guess!). I don't feel it's so much that my friends don't like/believe in the tarot, in fact, I feel it's the opposite, as they are so keen on having me read for them! It just seems that the more they feel I know, the more they seem to have a different kind of relationship with me, which is not as intimate as it once was. And on top of that, I feel taken advantage of, because they only want to hang out with me if I read for them. That's really what I was originally trying to get at, but this has now become a discussion about beliefs...

Then I guess I did misunderstand, I'm sorry. I think the answer then is to stop reading for them. I did that. Up to a point I read all I could, until I found out that although I still enjoyed Tarot I didn't actually like reading for people, for a variety of reasons, among them what you're describing. It became too much of an issue.

You can invent all kinds of excuses for this, such as being worn out, or knowing your friends too well and this affecting your readings. At first this was difficult, and they didn't like it, but we stayed friends and now I have the luxury of being able to read only when I offer a reading when I think someone needs it.