The sitter knows best - what to do?

[Jen P]

Well, she wasn't a paying customer but a vague friend. But agreed, i would slightly react differently when it was a paying sitter. I would be a little more patient.

It was a very neutral deck but she has one at home too... so she saw the image of her own 10 of swords card in her head.

Actually the first thing I said when i laid out the spread was: what a beautiful reading!

But that didn't help. Then she took my other deck of cards and started laying out herself. Without asking a question of course... So the cards were totally different.

Oh well, I won't read for her ever again, even if she asks it nicely. Many readers around, she doesn't need me.

You totally did the right thing!!! Not a paying sitter - how dare they touch your deck without your permission! Grrrrr. Yes, people with only a touch of tarot knowledge are a dangerous thing. You were in the right, of course, and she was just not ready to hear the message.

Nope, it wasn't mumbo-jumbo.

Thanks Torann - sweet of you to say.

 

[Zephyros]

They say doctors make the worse patients, because they're always second-guessing their own doctors. If your friend knows Tarot, as you say, it is very difficult to shut off your knowledge so I can kind of understand your friend. In an ideal situation she would have put her trust in you and gotten out of the driver's seat, but some people can't do that and aren't willing to admit it.

 

[Torann]

They say doctors make the worse patients, because they're always second-guessing their own doctors. If your friend knows Tarot, as you say, it is very difficult to shut off your knowledge so I can kind of understand your friend. In an ideal situation she would have put her trust in you and gotten out of the driver's seat, but some people can't do that and aren't willing to admit it.

She doesn't, really. She only knows a few cards. That's the trouble. And only one meaning to a card...

I know tarot quite well, but i don't read my own cards. I let a friend do that. And I really like it because to me it's a new learning experience every single time.

 

[AnemoneRosie]

I keep an Oracle deck on hand (one without long wordy explanations. I'm currently using Earth Magic and Earthbound in this role and switch it up between the two). When this happens I say "ok. You're clearly so knowledgeable about Tarot that you can read this for yourself and don't need me to interpret the cards for you. Instead, would you like an Oracle reading?" This goes one of two ways.
1. They say "I'm here for you to read for me" (or something like that) and we make ground rules about how they need to listen until I ask for input.
2. They get an Oracle reading.

 

[Grizabella]

Instead of just the knee-jerk reaction of saying you'll never read for her again, I suggest that if she asks you again, you just smile and say, "OK we can try this one more time but there needs to be some ground rules agreed on first" and then the ground rules would, of course, be that she not second guess your reading. It's never wise to just throw the baby out with the bath water and burn your bridges if you ever intend to become professional. Word of mouth is your best advertisement and you want to develop tact and diplomacy in order to be a reader that people will turn to for readings when they need one. This doesn't mean you have to read for people who are rude or who can't follow the guidelines you prefer to set for your readings, but it's worth working tactfully with a sitter if you can.

 

[Amanda]

I'd ask her if something "horrible" happened in the past then, with that 10 of Swords. Once you start asking questions of "know-it-alls" they tend to buckle under the pressure to actually display what they know. Then again, she may have provided significant information about a horrible situation that needed discussed.

 

[CosmicBeing]

I always wonder hoe professional readers deal with that.

If she comes back to buy a reading form you....just say "I prefer yes, no or maybe comments during the reading...at the end you can share anything you want."

or

You could say "I would best if I get to say everything I perceive about the cards before any comments or input from the sitter. We can cut out some time during our sessions to discuss why I saw the cards the way I saw it."

or

You could say "My perception of the tarot cards may be different from yours. I ask that you respect my view of the cards because that has been the most successful for me. If you feel my style of reading is not right for you... I'm sorry and I hope you find someone more fitted to your views of the cards."

I usually stay out of the way when I hire a reader.....let them say what they want to say. If I don't agree or doesn't align to my life then I don't have to hire the reader again.

 

[Torann]

Instead of just the knee-jerk reaction of saying you'll never read for her again, I suggest that if she asks you again, you just smile and say, "OK we can try this one more time but there needs to be some ground rules agreed on first" and then the ground rules would, of course, be that she not second guess your reading.

No I won't read for her ever again. Why? Because tarot is not for everyone. You have to be able to deal with the cards that are presented to you. I won't tell her what she wants to hear. Am I going to tell her that I won't read for her again? No. But I won't give her the opportunity to ask for it again.

It is not the first time she reacts like this (in other situations). She just refuses to listen to others, she refuses to look at herself and her problems. And as long as she remains like this, there is little for me to do.

 

[Torann]

I'd ask her if something "horrible" happened in the past then, with that 10 of Swords. Once you start asking questions of "know-it-alls" they tend to buckle under the pressure to actually display what they know. Then again, she may have provided significant information about a horrible situation that needed discussed.

Well, if she starts shouting at me, and pulling the cards out of my hands... you know... she just wouldn't listen. But her knowledge of cards are very limited. She didn't knew what the Hierophant was for instance...

 

[Achlys]

Well, if she starts shouting at me, and pulling the cards out of my hands... you know... she just wouldn't listen. But her knowledge of cards are very limited. She didn't knew what the Hierophant was for instance...

If you feel uncomfortable, then there is never a need to continue a reading. For someone to treat you like that, I don't blame you for not wanting to discuss anything further.
I'm quite proud that you were as nice about it as you were, in all honesty. When people start taking things out of my hand and being rude like that, I'm not terribly nice in return at that point.