smw
I have looked at the applications for the College of Thelema, The Temple of the Silver Star (TOTSS) and the A.A. The College and TOTSS have an application form whereas it looks like just an email or mail to apply to the A.A. That does seem trickier, what to put or not. or whether you have written satisfactorily enough to get a reply.
I was considering applying to the College (if I could actually face more tested learning, hurdles etc) but sifted myself out as I couldn't in all honesty sign the oath at the start of the application "to accept the Authority of the Prophet named in that Book, To Mega Therion." That seemed to be a jump ahead for me. I wasn't sure if accepting authority while studying was enough or whether a sound belief that Crowley was a prophet was required. (it is not off the table though, I am still considering it)
@ravenest - great story Though not anywhere in your league, a few years back I went to an interview for a preliminary certificate in counselling. On the day, I arrived at this dark narrow 3 storey Victorian house where this unsmiling man unlocked the inner door and loomed over me like lurch saying nothing. He seemed about 8ft tall. (he wasn't) I panicked and said "I'm here for training" he said "No. you are here for the interview day".... ~mortified~ I was incapable of speech and just went on upstairs. One of the interviewers was the first (and only) person I have ever met who when you looked at them seemed to have a dark surround and gave the message " you do not see me". I thought this was some kind of jedi mind trick. She would then sometimes suddenly be right beside you and you hadn't noticed. With my one to one interview with her, just as I was coming through the door she threw me off balance by mentioning the competitive dynamic of the previous group interview, tricky, an invitation to notice my own or not being aware of it... no fudging possible with that lady!
On my first day, I managed to be late with serious frost from the tutor. In the afternoon I went downstairs to the basement to go out the side door for a cigarette. The door slammed behind me.... no one was down there and I couldn't get back in. The feeling was just diabolical. I was for an Instant a small child locked out, can't get in, shame...the backyard had a high fence and what looked like a padlocked gate. I was thinking I'm going to have to scale it... how humiliating, will I be seen...oh, no, I'm forgetting, I'm too old for climbing over fences, I might get stuck, with a leg over at the top...ok, what about throwing stones at the higher window? no... breaking window... oh, no, no, bad idea...
Fortunately for me someone came to the second floor window and I managed to get their attention. The embarrassment I did manage to finish the course in the end though. My inner saboteur lost...hurrah!
What has occurred to me on writing this is what feelings and things might be triggered by not getting a reply from an organisation, a little like having that metaphorical door slammed in your face, regressing back to childhood, feeling rejected etc, that would be me, though I'm sure a wide range of different feelings and reactions for others.
eta, (from learning this with the Jedi lady's approach) in the transference, your own triggering feelings in relation to the other person(s) how you see them in fantasy and relate to them 'as if' possible figure(s) in your childhood will begin even before you meet them and so unconscious processes will have already started. No reply I think could activate this even more strongly.
I was considering applying to the College (if I could actually face more tested learning, hurdles etc) but sifted myself out as I couldn't in all honesty sign the oath at the start of the application "to accept the Authority of the Prophet named in that Book, To Mega Therion." That seemed to be a jump ahead for me. I wasn't sure if accepting authority while studying was enough or whether a sound belief that Crowley was a prophet was required. (it is not off the table though, I am still considering it)
@ravenest - great story Though not anywhere in your league, a few years back I went to an interview for a preliminary certificate in counselling. On the day, I arrived at this dark narrow 3 storey Victorian house where this unsmiling man unlocked the inner door and loomed over me like lurch saying nothing. He seemed about 8ft tall. (he wasn't) I panicked and said "I'm here for training" he said "No. you are here for the interview day".... ~mortified~ I was incapable of speech and just went on upstairs. One of the interviewers was the first (and only) person I have ever met who when you looked at them seemed to have a dark surround and gave the message " you do not see me". I thought this was some kind of jedi mind trick. She would then sometimes suddenly be right beside you and you hadn't noticed. With my one to one interview with her, just as I was coming through the door she threw me off balance by mentioning the competitive dynamic of the previous group interview, tricky, an invitation to notice my own or not being aware of it... no fudging possible with that lady!
On my first day, I managed to be late with serious frost from the tutor. In the afternoon I went downstairs to the basement to go out the side door for a cigarette. The door slammed behind me.... no one was down there and I couldn't get back in. The feeling was just diabolical. I was for an Instant a small child locked out, can't get in, shame...the backyard had a high fence and what looked like a padlocked gate. I was thinking I'm going to have to scale it... how humiliating, will I be seen...oh, no, I'm forgetting, I'm too old for climbing over fences, I might get stuck, with a leg over at the top...ok, what about throwing stones at the higher window? no... breaking window... oh, no, no, bad idea...
Fortunately for me someone came to the second floor window and I managed to get their attention. The embarrassment I did manage to finish the course in the end though. My inner saboteur lost...hurrah!
What has occurred to me on writing this is what feelings and things might be triggered by not getting a reply from an organisation, a little like having that metaphorical door slammed in your face, regressing back to childhood, feeling rejected etc, that would be me, though I'm sure a wide range of different feelings and reactions for others.
eta, (from learning this with the Jedi lady's approach) in the transference, your own triggering feelings in relation to the other person(s) how you see them in fantasy and relate to them 'as if' possible figure(s) in your childhood will begin even before you meet them and so unconscious processes will have already started. No reply I think could activate this even more strongly.