Dogs&#39 letters to God

[Talisman]

'Lo all,

Known I don't belong down here below the line.

But Kiama's article on "pagan chickens" gave me the best laugh I've had in a long, long time.

So, here's this. (Think this comes under the category of spiritual.) Can't claim any credit for it, don't know who intercepted these letters. My ex-wife, also a dog person, sent it to me.

Dear God: How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom smell one another? Where are their priorities?

Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or do we have to go "outside"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?

Dear God: If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?

Dear God: When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to sit and shake hands to get in?

Dear God: We dogs understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? . . . I (and many others like me) have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the Rotweiller across the street!

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets thing, again?

Dear God: May I have my testicles back?

Talisman

 

[AquarianGoddess]

Tailsman, that's really cool! 8) 8)

 

[Kiama]

ROFLMAO!!!! :-D :-D :-D

I see you've finally decided to poke your head below the line? Well, stay for a while! Please.... ;p

Kiama

 

[Major Tom]

Talisman - you are a treasure. Good to see you below the line.

Being somewhat dyslexic I naturally read the subject as Gods' letters to Dog...

 

[Malachite]

ok...i know I just wasted a post, but I have to laugh...

malachite

 

[catlin]

Hi Talisman,

You made my day! Is there s.th. similar available for cat lovers?

 

[Talisman]

catlin,

I suspect that you could create a collection of cat's letters to god for us, if --

BIG if here!

If you could get your cat to collaborate with you. In my experience, cats are mysterious creatures who have their own agenda.

Based upon my very very (as in extremely) limited understanding of the feline tribe -- and I've studied them for years -- about all my imagination can come up with is a letter that begins:

Dear God,
As one superior entity to another . . .

I think the cats I've known would be less inclined to ask questions than to offer suggestions.

I hope you decide to do this, 'cause I'm as curious, ah, well, ah, as curious as a cat to see what you come up with.

Talisman

 

[Diana]

Talisman, this is not only very funny, but actually very moving too. I feel like laughing and crying at the same time.

 

[catlin]

Hi,

Ok, I'll try to get an interview from my 4 feline familiares.

 

[Major Tom]

I had a word with the Demon Cat (she'd finished eating and was feeling mellow) and she dictated this letter:

Dear God,

Is it true that in heaven the refridgerator door has a cat flap? That there's a soft place in the sun for napping? That there's a warm lap whenever one is wanted and a hand to scratch just the right spot?

Just curious really because as one superior being to another I know you'll have thought these important issues through...

Thanks.

The Demon Cat (aka Gizmo)