Reading Boundaries: Referrals and Refusals

[yirabeth]

And I think - for the average person - conventional, fully qualified therapy is going to be way higher up on the list of *potential help* than going to a tarot reader to work through your issues.

I know health care is different in all different countries -- for instance here in the U.S. it's not free, and there are MANY people without any health care at all (I'm one of them) as well as those with "substandard" health care in which mental health isn't covered at all. It can be scary, any health issue can drive you to homelessness. (I have my fingers crossed that I make it through school and get a good job WITH insurance before "something" comes up...)

Just saying Health care isn't always an option, and maybe someone can afford the cost of a tarot reader and hope for the best, over certain ruin in an attempt to seek "normal" help.

My own stance -- I'm not qualified to read on health matters. My daughter in law once asked me to read on her mother, who is awaiting a heart transplant. I told her, the doctors are doing all they can for her, she's going to the best hospitals etc.... I can't read for you on this. But, I can read on how you can help her best while she waits for her turn on the list... That went well and she was happy about the reading. So, disaster diverted in this case...(I would have preferred to do a reading on how her husband -- my son -- could support HER as she supports her mother, as he is NOT being supportive..lol But he wouldn't listen to me anyway.)

As I'm not a professional reader, and really mainly only read here at the forums, it's not such an issue for me. But I can see where this would be for professional readers. Very good topic.

~Yira

 

[NamasteIndia]

I had a person the other day, foreign accent, we chatted a little and I asked her which country she was from. She told me her home was 'on another planet,' she had 'walked into this body at 14 yrs old', she was 6,000 years old, and was here on a 'mission to help the earth.' gave me a precise rundown of how the whole 'walk-in' interplanetary mission thing works, and told me in no uncertain terms that humans on this planet, even though we think we are the most intelligent and evolved, are actually the lowest. (Gee thanks!!).

I have read lot of Doreen Virtues books about Interplanetary people been born here on earth, starseeds, sirian beings, paledian, orions etc. They have rare blood group, different DNA structure, lower body temperature(which all perfectly matches with me)Though i also feel connected to Sirian and some psychics have also told me the same. I never tell this to other people because i know it sounds freaky and weird and except books there are no other way to prove it.

 

[Floss]

Yes, there seems to be several groups around with similar thinking.

 

[moderndayruth]

I know health care is different in all different countries -- for instance here in the U.S. it's not free, and there are MANY people without any health care at all (I'm one of them) as well as those with "substandard" health care in which mental health isn't covered at all. It can be scary, any health issue can drive you to homelessness.

Yira, here everyone has health insurance (remnants from socialism), the thing is that the system is so rotten and the doctors work simultaneosly in state hospitals and in private ones, so if you don't have to pay the private hospital, you can say that you are without any insurance.

(Now that we got to this - it would be interesting to here how questions differ from country to country, depending on socio-economical situation... But that would be a material for another thread i guess.)

My experience is that in Europe and especially in the South East what is expected is fortune telling - people mostly want to hear what and when will happen, as there is certain innate fatalism in us, making (almost) everyone believe that everything IS set in stone...
And i refuse to do this predictive thing, i mean, though we all do to some extent (most possible outcome position etc.), but i wouldn't say "this is going to happen"... After all, in my believe, only God (/Godess/ Universe) knows with certainty what will happen.
I read somewhere (in some Kabbalistic scripture) that the difference between spiritual and non-spiritual person is that former knows that the Light can enter any seemingly desperate situation and change it in no-time... i guess that's that's what i like to fill my own readings with, that hope, that power, that certainty that we can connect to something bigger than ourselves and that we can achieve everything*, as long as there is a desire to do so, right consciousness and the will to work hard for one's goals...
Honestly, i personally would refuse all the readings where there is lack of hope and where the sitter has surrendered their power to something/someone other than themselves (that's - not in a good way), but i am afraid its not possible, even for us who don't read professionally.

(*By everything i don't have in mind learning to fly etc., it hasn't been my goal -and though maybe that too is possible for some - i had in mind more realistic goals. )

 

[Aerin]

mdr, your post just reminded me of something; I don't do purely predictive readings as I don't believe in fatalistic outcomes. Even if they exist, I don't believe it is helpful as I think it is a way of taking away personal power. Forecasting is one thing, but saying x will definitely happen and there's nothing you can do to mitigate / change it - no. It put me off tarot for ages, as most of the readings I heard about were "purely" predictive and left sitters disempowered IMO (and in their opinion too).

One thing this thread says to me is how difficult many of the situations are that querents face, and therefore how challenging the role of a reader can be.

@Marina - I've been on quite a few courses where you take turns to tackle your issue/ help your partner explore theirs and it sometimes seems to me that it doesn't matter where you start, if a dragon is going to arrive it Finds A Way (even if you decided to play safe and talk about the difficulty in finding chocolate ice cream or whatever harmless thing occurs to you). It makes sense to me therefore that Tarot readings can bring up those issues if they are there too.

 

[queenxofxwands]

I think looking at the cards chosen before you start reading, can give you a good overview of the querents state of mind at the time, if there are a lot of cards indicating mental anguish, best to tread lightly, if theres a lot of cards suggesting denial, who am i to force the issue? I've seen a lot of those denial cards turn up in readings for people who think a tarot reading is just a bit of frivolous fun, nothing they really believe in, so no surprise when the truth comes out that they react badly. Thing is, i think, as long as you do what you feel is right for that person, that should be the end of it. Thats all that we can do. We cannot predict how they will react, no matter how carefully we tread or what we say. We are responsible for what we say, they are responsible for how they react to that. If i do a reading and i see the tone of it is not something i am willing to take on, then i wont take it on, if someone needs advice of a professional kind then i'd tell them the cards are indicating this would benefit them but of course its totally their decision, i am merely reading the cards they chose.
I dont feel as if i have to help everyone that comes along, if it makes me uncomfortable, i dont see how that can help the other person anyway, best to leave it in whatever way suits you, whether that be referring elsewhere or not. Do what you are comfortable doing,its right to care, just dont carry it.

 

[SunChariot]

So, I was wondering. Under what conditions would you refuse someone a reading because you thought they needed more than you could give them? Have you done this?

and

Under what conditions would you refer someone to another person, because you felt you couldn't help? Have you done this?

I suppose it is a question of how you keep yourself and your querents safe, in the psychological sense.

I would refuse to read for someone and/or refer them to someone else if I felt I could not adequately deal with the question being asked. That might vary from case to case. But I trust I would feel it inside if that were so.

I would not give legal or medical advice. That includes telling someone how to get over depression. That is certainly out of my realm. Those are the cases where I would definitely refer them to a professional.

I personally are not comfortable looking into any dark energies. Someone asked me once to do a reading about the nature of that and if they were following her around. I won't read on that and I had to tell her that, that I would not but maybe someone else might be. I try to work only with light filled and loving energies in my work, and I have no interest in trying to connect with anything other than that.

That's all I can think of at the moment,

Babs

 

[Aerin]

Much of this does seem to come back to knowing yourself really well (there are still always?? going to be some blind spots). I also feel the need not to take on someone else's "stuff", trying to rescue someone else is a blind alley IMO. It goes along with "for their own good". I don't count offering a referral / pointing out where they might go as a rescue.

 

[alli cat]

Wow, this is all really interesting and a great thread.

I work in a type of therapy as a day job and I apply certain conditions to the clients I see. So I refer anyone with issues relating to child abuse to a psychotherapist, because they have more training than me in that area. The person I refer to is a friend of mine but that's why I refer to her - because I know she has a good reputation and understanding in that area. I make it clear to the client that she is my friend, so I declare that, but all clients say that they will contact her because her being my friend is a good basis to start on.

I would prefer to give her details because there are some people out there I don't trust professionally, so at least I feel I have suggested someone highly qualified and trustworthy, and then it is up to the individual to decide for themselves.

I think protecting yourself with any type of interaction where there is sensitive information, be it the tarot or a therapy etc, is really important. I don't have any experience of child abuse (thankfully) but I know it makes me feel very sad and upset, so I choose not to deal with that.
Allicat x

 

[shadowdancer]

well have already covered when I would do referrals so here is when I would refuse:

**Requests to read for a third party on what they are doing/thinking etc. If they have not given permission or are unaware of the reading, it would be an intrusive action on my part to follow through with a reading. Besides which if they are not involved, I would not be able to clarify anything with them as the reading progresses and would be able to vouch for accuracy.

** Medical, legal issues etc. Would refer as per my previous posting.

** Someone who is drunk or under the influence of other substance. If there is a chance the booze was doing the talking when the request is made, I would have concerns they would regret things in the morning so to speak.

** If when I dowse "can I do the reading for this person" the response is "no." It does happen on rare occasions and I respect that when it happens, explaining as tactfully as I can to the requester. It could be for various reasons but I never go against that. If other energies are working with me when I do my readings going against that guidance would not be right and again - I would not be able to vouch for the accuracy of the reading if that makes sense.

** If someone has had too many readings in a short time, particularly on the same subject and have given any thought to allowing time to work on issues. In other words, they are using tarot readings as a crutch. This has only happened once in the last 5 years where I have said no for this reason.

Davina