Madame Squee
LittleBuddha said:Now, now, my lady! This is good. This is the kind of feelings we want to learn to overcome. If it was easy, there would be no point doing this experiment.
I have had a few feelings. About the Voodoo last night, after seeing Solataire post a thread on it - I was thinking how original it would be to use that one instead, how different an experience it would be. And then in Moonbow's pip thread, I thought about the lines in the Adrian. I am still thinking about how nice it would be to interpret them and the colours.
But then ...
I remember the stories waiting to be arroused in the Victorian Romantic. If I ducked out now it would be like missing an episode of a tv series and not finding out who done it. It would be like arranging to meet a friend and not showing up. I am just starting to get to know them. It would be such a shame to say hello and never get to the point of having real conversations.
LB
Of course, you're absolutely correct, Little Buddha. Thank you so much for the eloquent reminder -- I deeply appreciate it I think my biggest hurdle is in thinking that I have to love and connect with every card in the deck. Yesterday, XX Karma, was bothering the heck out of me, because that's not how I view Judgement. When I look at the picture on the TotOP card, I'm seeing Death, The Wheel, Justice -- lots of interesting stuff, but not Judgement, which started me thinking (as usual) about how I loved the Judgement card in the Cosmic deck, or the Buckland Romani deck, or the Druidcraft deck. However, after I read your post this morning, I took out the TotOP "Karma" and meditated on it for at least 15 minutes and saw a connection I didn't see before... maybe we'll be okay after all. Then, I performed a "how-are-we-doing" spread with the whole deck, and the 10 of cups turned up in the "dragons-to-overcome" position & I laughed, because that's what I want all right: the PERFECT family! However, I realized a long time ago, there ain't no such animal!!!
LittleBuddha said:Last night I went to Borders - *gasp*
I always go to the third floor and look at the tarot. But as I walked in, I thought 'I don't need to'. What would I find that is not in my Victorian Romantic? And I knew that for now, there was nothing I needed.
So I stayed on the ground floor for a bit and looked at the fashion magazines.
And then I took the escalator to the second floor, browsed the art section and bought a big hardback book of street Graffiti.
And then left.
LB
I'm gasping, too! You are my hero, Little Buddha! There's no way I could go into Borders or any other source of Tarot right now. This weekend is going to be so tough, because my routine includes visiting all the used bookstores, metaphysical shops and retail outlets -- in that order -- until I find a deck I think will read well or fit into my collection or one that I can re-sell or trade. I keep thinking of quitting cigarettes and how free I felt when I realized I could sit through a meeting or class without longing for a smoke, and when break came, I could do anything else instead of rushing to the exit to stand on the sidewalk and puff that cigarette. That's what it's going to be like when I can get through a weekend without visiting a single book store of any kind. I can sit home and sew a Tarot quilt or go give free readings at the coffee shop (a fantasy of mine).
Thank you everyone for your marvelous support! Yesterday was a just a blip on the screen. Today, I'm in focus!
Laugh & be well,
mme.
(Wait a minute, do you think all my trouble could have been caused by all the chocolate I ate??? Well, if it was, no worries, it's gone now ;-)