The View from the Other Side

[Milfoil]

......well, LRichard. hate to tell you this, but............they are watching you! ......

There is a difference though, between 'watching' every little thing we do and watching over us.

Certainly I have never witnessed or been part of a mediumship reading where highly specific details of the relative's life were given through the medium such as what they ate for breakfast, what shampoo they use in the shower or what colour underwear they are wearing. The messages relate to emotions, events in the deceased's life or at their funeral, issues of concern, advice, assurance of being ok/life after death or unfinished business generally. Even the dead seem to have other stuff to do than following us around 24/7.

 

[Richard]

......Of course, no one is required to believe anything they aren't comfortable with, but it would be just peachy not be mocked for having alternative beliefs.

It also would be nice not to be told with absolute certainty that spooks are always watching us, as if they had too much free time on their hands. Being dead must be painfully boring. Just for the record, I believe in lots of things that cannot be detected directly by means of the five senses, such as: gods and goddesses, guardian angels, truth, love, noble ideals, democracy, global warming, etc. I'm not sure about literal ghosts and goblins, although as metaphors they are perfectly acceptable.

 

[celticnoodle]

There is a difference though, between 'watching' every little thing we do and watching over us.

Certainly I have never witnessed or been part of a mediumship reading where highly specific details of the relative's life were given through the medium such as what they ate for breakfast, what shampoo they use in the shower or what colour underwear they are wearing. The messages relate to emotions, events in the deceased's life or at their funeral, issues of concern, advice, assurance of being ok/life after death or unfinished business generally. Even the dead seem to have other stuff to do than following us around 24/7.

really milfoil??? you must not be going to good mediums then! I seem to get very private information at times from the spirits I contact for my customers! especially about the foods they eat and things they purchase that they were trying to keep secret and things they said about others even--all that turned out to be accurate per my customers. I even once had a spirit tell me that my customer DID change not only their hair style--but the color! I remember that customer being quite surprised.

I never said they are following us around 24/7 though. But, I do feel that if and when we need them or if and when we are going through a hardship they ARE there--whether we like it or not. I've had many such occurrences with spirits both personally and for my customers to prove this fact--but this is not what the thread is about and so I will not go into it here.

It also would be nice not to be told with absolute certainty that spooks are always watching us, as if they had too much free time on their hands. Being dead must be painfully boring. Just for the record, I believe in lots of things that cannot be detected directly by means of the five senses, such as: gods and goddesses, guardian angels, truth, love, noble ideals, democracy, global warming, etc. I'm not sure about literal ghosts and goblins, although as metaphors they are perfectly acceptable.

It sounds to me like yet another thread that is going to get out of hand because of what each of us choose to believe and then post about. can't we just lighten up a bit?

 

[Caristia]

I'm sorry to hear that the pain is so fresh for you still. I am also sorry that you lost your husband--at least it sounds like that? My condolences to you on your loss.

Thanks, CN. Yes, my husband died last month.

generally they are past their less then pleasant earthly emotions - all that you stated above. Though for some, they still hold onto them for a little while, before finally letting it go.

I hope this helps to answer your question.

Yes, it does. Thank you very much. I had often wondered if a deceased person would get jealous if their spouse remarried or angry if family heirlooms were auctioned off on eBay in order to buy something they didn't approve of (like tarot decks), but I get the impression that they somehow reach a state of acceptance.

There are many here much more "sensitive" and who seem to have more of a natural gift to feel and see people, things some of us may not. I believe that staying in touch for many of us who may not normally be as gifted, or haven't developed that gift, may come down to the closeness and desire to stay connected. I believe that will, love, closeness, the desire to stay attached, all are powerful enough to transcend anything in order to stay connected.

Unfortunately I'm apparently not one of the sensitive ones. After reading about others' experiences in both this thread and others, I have to admit that I'm a bit disappointed that things have been so quiet around here. Well, maybe not all that quiet, but that's a subject for another thread.

So, whilst I believe the individual body & circumstances surrounding any little person may appear to fade away after apparent 'death', when viewed by us from within apparent 'time' .... ultimately, in the Great Allness of Everything / Universe / All Creation / the Tao or whatever, all the goodness, love, happiness, creativity etc of every little 'piece' of Us is eternal and timeless. People & events cannot un-happen or disappear from the fabric of Reality, imo - even if we think 'the past has gone' from our limited perspective.viewpoint.

You have expressed that so beautifully, Starshower! It reminds me of the poem "Gone From My Sight" (http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Gone_From_My_Sight) that I read in a booklet at the hospital.

There is a difference though, between 'watching' every little thing we do and watching over us.

Yes! I find the latter very comforting and the former rather creepy.

really milfoil??? you must not be going to good mediums then! I seem to get very private information at times from the spirits I contact for my customers! especially about the foods they eat and things they purchase that they were trying to keep secret and things they said about others even--all that turned out to be accurate per my customers.

Oh no! Just when I was feeling very reassured by Milfoil's statement.

It sounds to me like yet another thread that is going to get out of hand because of what each of us choose to believe and then post about. can't we just lighten up a bit?

I hope this doesn't happen. It wasn't my intention to start any arguments. I'm finding this discussion very thought-provoking, and I certainly hope it can continue peacefully.

 

[jcwirish]

Caristia, I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure this is a most difficult time for you, and I wish you peace and healing.

I don't know if this will be helpful to you, but my best friend lost her mother when we were both 22 (a long time ago now ). My friend was so angry and sad for so long, and she wanted her mom to try and connect with her, but she never felt her near. I don't think this meant that she wasn't. I just think my friend was so very sad and wasn't in a place to be aware at that time. Several years later, she kept mentioning that she noticed repeated number every time she looked at a clock or calendar etc... whenever she happened to look at a clock, it was always 11 something. For instance, it was always 10:11 or 2:11. It got to the point that this was so frequent that she began to question it. Anyway, eventually she learned more about the number 11 and it's significance. I'm sorry I'm not good with numerology, but I recall that she felt there was a connection to her mom with this. Later a reading was done (again with my friend CelticNoodle), where my friend's mom came through and revealed that it was her making herself known with the recurring 11's.

Many other things were revealed that made it clear that her mom was watching over her. I won't repeat them here because they were of a personal nature. No, she's not watching every minute, and she doesn't care about the private things that happen in my friend's life. She just knew that my friend was suffering and wanted to reassure her that everything was fine.

I was very close with this woman as well. She was like a surrogate mother to me. In life she was actively involved in an adoption agency. Both my friend and her sister were adopted as well. After many years of infertility, my husband and I decided we would adopt a baby. It was a very long process and was not easy. We faced many roadblocks, but in the end, we were finally blessed with our amazing son. A couple of years ago, I woke up thinking about my friend's mother. I had dreamt about her and we were talking, but I couldn't remember what the conversation was about. While I was sitting in my bed, looking into my bathroom, a very distinct and kind voice said in my head, "she helped you get Ryan." (Ryan is my son). I can assure you, it wasn't my voice or myself telling me this. I don't even remember being overly emotional or reactive to this. It was very calm and comforting, and the moment I heard the voice, it all made perfect sense to me. Adoption is what she did in life and how she got her two children. It just felt like I already knew she had helped me, but I wasn't aware of it, if that makes sense.

Anyway, I dream of her often now. If I am upset or feeling down and I dream about her, almost always now, her daughter (my best friend), will call me in the morning. She always says that she just felt she needed to call me. We live in different states now and don't get to talk very often, but this seems to happen often when I'm unhappy about something. We both think that her mom nudges one of us to call each other.

I'm sorry this is so long and I'm going on a bit. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, your husband may very well be trying to connect, but it takes time for us to understand the subtle ways they may choose. It certainly appeared that it wasn't until my friend had healed a bit that she was able to recognize the signals her mom was sending.

Similar things happened after my step brother passed away. When he came through, he talked about a couple of events that occurred since his passing that he was present for, but no one was aware. He mentioned a balloon celebration that the family had on the first year anniversary of his death. Everyone wrote him messages on balloons and released them into the air. He said he was there and really liked it, but of course, no one who was there felt him at the time.

You are going through a very hard time. I don't want to get berated for saying this, but I'm sure he is near you and caring for you. I doubt he's concerned with the mundane everyday things going on, but I'm sure he wants you to know he's okay. I'm not a medium, and I don't have any psychic abilities that I know of. I base my thoughts on the few experiences I've had and the readings I've had done to connect with some of my loved ones. Many may think it's only my imagination or that I'm a fool, but it felt important to me to tell you that's it's my heartfelt belief that you are not alone, and that you still have a loving connection to your husband even though he has passed.

I really hope that this is helpful in some way. I don't think you need to worry about selling things or moving on eventually, and things like that. Our earthly, messy stuff isn't what concerns those who have passed. But that doesn't mean that they don't wish us to find peace and move past our sadness, or that they don't look after us when we need them.

 

[Richard]

My favorite twentieth century writer, W. B. Yeats, was a believer in spiritualism. However, he didn't clobber people over the head with it, and I'm not sure if the sort of spirits he contacted were really concerned about the minute details of the living.

For myself, I am not at all sure that when a person dies, they suddenly are very wise and emminently capable of guiding those of us who are still among the living. That would seem to be the proper task of the Holy Guardian Angel (i.e., the Inner, or "Higher" Self, which has presumably been a part of us ever since we were born).

I'm probably in the same ball park with popular culture as regards the deceased. I think of Jacob Marley, who was stuck here in his own private hell because he was doomed to be an object lesson for Scrooge (and others) that excessive materialism kills the soul.

My immediate family is all gone, except for my children. My parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents are all on the "other side" (whatever that is). It seemed that some of them did try to communicate with me during a brief period after their death. It was as if they were concerned about some unfinished business or maybe the welfare of their survivors.

My wife, in particular, died relatively young, suddenly and unexpectedly. It was the most traumatic experience of my entire life. My son was too devastated to be very coherent about it. My daughter and I felt that she was still hanging around, perhaps concerned about her children or me, that she had left some loose ends that needed to be fixed. I phoned a New Age friend about this, and she suggested a certain candle ritual, in which a candle is lit, and someone stays awake by the candle until it burns out, all the while assuring the deceased not to worry about us, but to go ahead to her destiny. My daughter generously volunteered to do this, and it worked.

 

[Milfoil]

Carlista, I am very sorry that you are so newly bereaved, it must be incredibly difficult for you. There is a famous medium here in the UK called Mia Dolan who I have met on occasion. She's very down to earth and straight talking. Twice while talking in a group with her, she has reiterated how it is often around a year before a deceased loved one comes back to us so if you are not feeling much of his presence right now, it is quite normal. This time allows us the space we need (even if we are hurting and don't want it) because we have to grieve and move on but also because they have things to do too. Trust your instincts and feelings and when you do feel him around, you will just know it. Perhaps a familiar smell or a dream, an object out of place or one of his favourite songs playing. Just being open and patient, that's all any of us can do.

In many cultures there is a 40 day mourning period, in which time many ceremonies and rituals are performed, prayers offered and sacrifices made to ensure that the soul of the departed disengages completely with this life. This helps those left here to grieve fully and completely while also allowing the deceased to arrive where they need to be instead of being attracted back here to a person, place or object where they shouldn't really be. Rather like a Mother trying to keep her child a baby for ever, it is unhealthy for both parties, we have to let go. Not forget you understand, just emotionally allow them to take this journey without us.

really milfoil??? you must not be going to good mediums then! I seem to get very private information at times from the spirits I contact for my customers! especially about the foods they eat and things they purchase that they were trying to keep secret and things they said about others even--all that turned out to be accurate per my customers. I even once had a spirit tell me that my customer DID change not only their hair style--but the color! I remember that customer being quite surprised.

That must be it (shrug). Could it not be that the personal information given is precisely what the client needs to hear so that they can change (stop buying and hiding things or hair colour change was a BIG step for this person)? Certainly not every unimportant and intimate detail of their lives though surely? That I have never come across. It also brings up another related point about being psychic and picking up on that kind of thing but not through mediumship, ie the medium is picking up the information directly from the sitter themselves, not via Spirit. However, that is another conversation which we can take up in a new thread if anyone wishes to continue it.

I never said they are following us around 24/7 though.

Not in those words but you did make it sound as though this was the case and a fact at that. Statements made as if they are facts (ie "they are watching you) in metaphysical discussions, which can never be supported by tangible evidence, will inevitably invite discordant reactions and lay the foundations for things getting 'out of hand'.

jcwirish - thank you for sharing your experiences too, there are more amazing things in this universe than we can ever fully know but when we experience the magic like this, it somehow gives life depth and new dimensions doesn't it?

We all seem to agree and have personal experiences that our loved ones are ok after death and often stand alongside us when we need help. In that, I think we all agree and hopefully this can give you hope and assurance Carlista that all will be well.

 

[Milfoil]

My wife, in particular, died relatively young, suddenly and unexpectedly. It was the most traumatic experience of my entire life. My son was too devastated to be very coherent about it. My daughter and I felt that she was still hanging around, perhaps concerned about her children or me, that she had left some loose ends that needed to be fixed. I phoned a New Age friend about this, and she suggested a certain candle ritual, in which a candle is lit, and someone stays awake by the candle until it burns out, all the while assuring the deceased not to worry about us, but to go ahead to her destiny. My daughter generously volunteered to do this, and it worked.

Yes, this is just the kind of thing that other cultures do in their mourning period. It does work doesn't it. Even if it feels strange to 'send them away', we're not really doing that, but helping both sides to manage the transition.

 

[Zephyros]

I guess my own line of thinking falls somewhere in the vicinity of LRichard's, as I stated in my first post. We may form meaningful connections in this lifetime, but every one is also a star following their own orbit, with perhaps a very different destiny than being "just" our nearest and dearest. It falls to HGAs to intervene in this plane (not an external force, but the higher essence of a person, telling them of their Wills).

It would actually make sense this would come in the form of a loved one, as actually illustrated in the story of the Burning Bush. The Talmud states:

"And he said, ‘Oh, let me behold Your Presence!' Rabbi Judah ben Nehemiah said: since Moses, was a novice in prophecy, God said—if I reveal Myself unto him with a loud voice, I will frighten him, and if in a low voice, he will think lightly of the prophecy. So what did the Holy One, blessed be He, do? He revealed himself to him in the voice of his father."

Midrash Raba

There is also another view in the Talmud stating God spoke to Moses in his own voice (the Talmud is in the form of scholars conversing with one another, although they could be separated by centuries, so there are many differing views). Since we are all one, emanating from the primal void, both a small part of the universe and the entire universe at once, my voice is the voice of my father, mother, brother, sister, husband, wife, grandfather and grandmother and friend.

 

[celticnoodle]

Thanks, CN. Yes, my husband died last month.

(((Caristia))) my condolences to you

Oh no! Just when I was feeling very reassured by Milfoil's statement.

then I apologize to you, Caristia. Its certainly NOT my intention to upset you or anyone.

I hope this doesn't happen. It wasn't my intention to start any arguments. I'm finding this discussion very thought-provoking, and I certainly hope it can continue peacefully.

me too.

Trust your instincts and feelings and when you do feel him around, you will just know it. Perhaps a familiar smell or a dream, an object out of place or one of his favourite songs playing. Just being open and patient, that's all any of us can do.

I agree with this 100%. This is good advice.

Could it not be that the personal information given is precisely what the client needs to hear so that they can change (stop buying and hiding things or hair colour change was a BIG step for this person)?

could be. Or it may be just that they want them to know that I am connecting to their loved one. After all, how else would I have known about certain things, such as what they ate for breakfast or that they changed the color/style of their hair? This is often how I take it--that it is just to let my sitter know that I am indeed connecting to their loved one.

Not in those words but you did make it sound as though this was the case and a fact at that. Statements made as if they are facts (ie "they are watching you) in metaphysical discussions, which can never be supported by tangible evidence, will inevitably invite discordant reactions and lay the foundations for things getting 'out of hand'.

not my intention to make anyone think that we have thousands of dead ancestors following our every move. I really thought people would understand that.

so, my apologies to all whom I may have offended here. Certainly NOT my intention at all. I just wanted to show that our loved ones are around us, (will try hard not to say 'always').

They don't stop loving us or caring for us when they are deceased. Their love carries on for us. I, for one, think it beautiful to know they are around and I also am happy to know they are with me in good times as well as bad.